tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post1694378940388664245..comments2024-02-05T14:40:16.485+04:00Comments on Dhofari Gucci: Discrimination Against Women in Dhofar & OmanNadiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07216581844756113684noreply@blogger.comBlogger85125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-28325645769726432462013-06-15T11:18:44.543+04:002013-06-15T11:18:44.543+04:00Dear Nadia,
I started to read your blog few weeks ...Dear Nadia,<br />I started to read your blog few weeks ago and I think you are tired of the compliments, but I anyway want to say that´s fantastic "job". It´s an old post, but I decided to comment it because in 2010 I visited alone Salalah. I can say my impressions as western woman. Already in the aircraft some locals started to chat with me, (in this time I thought it is compleatly normal when non-married men and women speak with each other), one man already offered me a job in a travel agency :) During the stay I spoke with so many local men, who were speaking how many rights today the women in Oman have and how much they are respected. When I read your post, (I self live now since tree years in Gulf countries) it makes me mad when I know the situation of woman and how the husbands are dealing with tourists and staff in the hotel cafes and other different places. They have all the freedom and women have to carry the family honor. I didn´t have chat with any women during this stay in Salalah, they seemed to me not to be interested to speak. Possibly a chat with western woman would also influence the reputation.<br />All the best,<br />HeidiAdelheidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10083264773507134728noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-14989265032353488722011-10-30T00:30:57.690+04:002011-10-30T00:30:57.690+04:00Dear Nadia,
I cannot express enough my gratitude ...Dear Nadia,<br /><br />I cannot express enough my gratitude for your blog. You made me really emotional when I was reading this. God bless you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-72324777679159626262010-10-25T19:16:06.072+04:002010-10-25T19:16:06.072+04:00Since may when i posted here last..things in life ...Since may when i posted here last..things in life have happened and ive come to the conclusion salalah and the dhofari mans attidue will NEVER change unless they are well educated in both religion of Islam and they dnt make taqleed (blind following) of their tribes. <br /> I am sickened by the number of women i have met face to face here in salalah who are going through abuse from their dhofari husbands and inlaws. IM not saying all dhofari men are bed but alot ! <br /> InshaAllah inshaAllah something be done to help these women because if not it may be tooo late...Allah forbid. <br /> Keep the post topic coming Nadia, i thank u dearly for writing this post. And for anyone outside of dhofar who doesnt understand the local culture etc..i dont think ull fully understand life being trapped unless u walk in those shoes..Islam says one thing..and some men do the opposite wallahi.Kimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14037444725266939477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-68535253127261104962010-09-15T01:34:10.486+04:002010-09-15T01:34:10.486+04:00Dearest Nadia,
Thank you so much for adressing th...Dearest Nadia,<br /><br />Thank you so much for adressing this issue. I can totally relate to this and I really think our talents are going down the drain because of these situations. <br /><br />I know that this is not Islam, it is ignorance and frankly I cannot support this behavior. I am also Muslim, but I really do not think all of this described is part of our religion.<br /><br />Thank you so much for this post.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-67740350674515570922010-09-13T19:08:08.790+04:002010-09-13T19:08:08.790+04:00hi nadia ,,, i came across your article,, and what...hi nadia ,,, i came across your article,, and what i felt is that you have alot of anger towards the dhofari society ,, especially men ,,,i would rather think that you must had an interesting childhood ,,,,well , in my opinion dhofari men do respect women ,,Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-3762901448792221932010-09-13T19:06:52.017+04:002010-09-13T19:06:52.017+04:00hi nadia ,,, i came across your article,, and what...hi nadia ,,, i came across your article,, and what i felt is that you have alot of anger towards the dhofari society ,, especially men ,,,i would rather think that you must had an interesting childhood ,,,,well , in my opinion dhofari men do respect women ,,Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-44436296172004663222010-08-28T20:59:11.062+04:002010-08-28T20:59:11.062+04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-63901306619454557602010-08-28T18:32:18.102+04:002010-08-28T18:32:18.102+04:00Dear Nadia,
I am extremely astonished and touched...Dear Nadia,<br /><br />I am extremely astonished and touched by how powerful this post is. Thank you for writing this, it is very inspiring. I am currently studying Law abroad, and have been very keen about taking a module in Human rights and equality laws. Your post has definitely confirmed my choice. I understand how no Law can completely change this primitive behaviour, but I believe it's an effective tool to help raise awareness, and show people the value of women, and how that we are all equal human beings - regardless of gender,age or ethnicity.<br /><br />I am very glad I came across your blog. Once again, thank you for sharing this post with the world.<br /><br />Kindest Regards,<br /><br />BaderBadernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-69971155779424376632010-05-09T15:06:51.388+04:002010-05-09T15:06:51.388+04:00Who says that women are ruled by fear or by what i...Who says that women are ruled by fear or by what is around them? I live in a society where women walk around in skirts slit almost all the way up their leg and are almost falling out of their blouses in the summer. But I choose to cover all but face, hands and maybe a little foot if I'm wearing sandals in the summer. And maybe people look at me funny and make comments like 'UFO!' And I look over my shoulder at them as I walk by, flash them my 'I'll be having you for dinner tonight' smile, and perhaps even laugh (in a manner worthy of Mephistopheles at the Metropolitan Opera, no less - let's say I don't let being a soprano get in my way ).<br /><br />I have always expected respect from everyone including my family. I have always enjoined what is good and (very actively) forbidden what is evil in this regard. I am well aware that with most men you have to choose between respect and attraction. And I choose respect. And I am therefore 45 years old and never married.<br /><br />I am also well aware that I have certain physical advantages that most women do not have - although given some experiences when I was not yet fully grown, thus a bit smaller than I am now, I can also say that winning in a physical confrontation comes down to mentality and knowing what to do with what you have, especially using your assailant's strength and size against them.<br /><br />Yes: it is very sad that I can never know for sure whether men treat me (for the most part) with respect because they are decent people, because they esteem me as a person, or because they are afraid of what will happen if they don't (because I am bigger than they are).<br /><br />But do I go around trying to hide my size, to look less threatening? No. I make use of it to, as I said, enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil in various situations. Escorting female friends home at night (and for that matter, even male friends bigger than I am admit to feeling safer with me around). Facing down the slave driver boss. Preventing the abusive husband of the neighbor around the corner from gaining entry to their apartment by other means when she finally locked him out.<br /><br />Apparently it is common knowledge among those who practice such things as street fighting that there are situations where you simply will not win unless you are willing to die. And extreme oppression is one of these. And that is my idea of martyrdom - dying at the hands of others for attempting to forbid what is evil. And such a person will have the satisfaction of knowing that they can be a wakeup call even to the entire world - whoever finds out about what happened.caraboskanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-73897613986630147472010-05-08T13:21:15.828+04:002010-05-08T13:21:15.828+04:00As salam alaikum Nadia.
i read this post of you...As salam alaikum Nadia. <br /><br /> i read this post of yours along with my mum..we both are SHOCKED & SICKENED to say the least. I ws discussing it with her and we came tp the conclusion that these men who do such evil things to women need some major correction from some hard core women..i must admit my mother would be a good woman to smack them straight and set them back into place.. she punched one man in the arm many yrs ago when i was a child and till this day that man doesnt dare say any sexist jokes around her any more. <br /> we women in dhofar need to team up and get some womens rights classes going..it would be my pleasure to open my front door to women and discuss with them their rights from Allah..maybe u can do the translation part of it. what u think sis ? <br /><br />ill continue to discuss this topic and i know u will too.. uve found a tag team member. i got your back sis. <br /><br />hiyych AllahKimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14037444725266939477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-23375798124963946472010-04-26T02:40:50.275+04:002010-04-26T02:40:50.275+04:00I, in perserving my chasity, have been insulted an...I, in perserving my chasity, have been insulted and demeaned. I have been told "to get over myself" and that there was something wrong with me for not wanting sex. Men do use women's sexuality against them.Lisa Dashnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-87553822502155622952010-04-23T08:50:36.119+04:002010-04-23T08:50:36.119+04:00I believe ISLAM has granted women her rights in fu...I believe ISLAM has granted women her rights in full... As Allah the creature of all creatures, he knows us more than our selves and that's why women are most understood by Islam. <br /><br />The problem is that today's Men and women are not true followers of Islam in a true faithful way. We mix islam with out traditions and also mixed with our globalized thoughts.<br /><br />It's enough that in Islam " Best of you are those who're best to their women"<br /><br />خياركم ... خياركم لنسائكم <br /><br />I believe MEN & WOMEN misunderstood how to treat each other right.Ahmed Al-Shukailihttp://www.ahmedshukaili.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-28353141167282147742010-04-13T14:19:28.800+04:002010-04-13T14:19:28.800+04:00... I didn't know where to post this link but ...... I didn't know where to post this link but I wanted to share it with you. Initially most people thought the site was an April fools Hoax but it seems to be real. What do you think the impact of sites such as these are on Muslim society?<br />http://www.rnw.nl/english/article/halal-sex-website-no-contradictionAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-12825466177726204192010-04-13T13:25:17.193+04:002010-04-13T13:25:17.193+04:00About women's liberation, the way to change th...About women's liberation, the way to change things, as done in the USA, is to start with a grassroots movement - or shall I say a 'hand full of sand' movement'? <br /><br />1. If I were you, I'd first find out which women in my extended family want men to treat their women right. I would have all my female friends do this (a sneaky way to organize, but men are frightened if women get together to organize.) <br /><br />2. Have all the women list things they would like to changed. Group them into categories of behavior. Then group them into levels of difficulty in changing.<br /><br />3. Then make committees to research the problems: research the Koran for examples where women are to be respected. Another to talk to older women about how they were more equal when they worked. Another to address female circumcision...Another to research legal measures that may be possible. Another to find the different tribal origins for specific behaviors, etc. <br /><br />4. Choose ONE simple action you want to change that isn't too threatening to men. Find a way to get all the women to cooperate on a very basic, simple action plan for the ONE thing. <br /><br />5. Education: You have to start educating the children in your families to change. If the parents don't agree, then you have to get through to them. (I've heard the oldest boy often gets his own room, etc..... Why? Does the oldest girl get that kind of preferential treatment too?) One way to do this is to write a booklet about the family changes your group would like to see. The booklet can be used in family discussions, then rewritten (I'm eventually hoping you can have the booklet introduced into the schools or mosques).<br /><br />6. Create relationships in the religious community with like-minded individual. <br /><br />7. Find small business owners who want to promote changes in how women are treated, do business there.<br /><br />The idea is to create a movement of people who become educated about the problems and who offer ways to work towards gradual change. Remember things grow from very small seeds... same with trying to change how people feel, then think, then act. <br /><br />Good luck. There's nothing wrong with the word 'feminist' to mean a woman who cares about women's rights. <br /><br />Good luck! <br />An American teacher who used to work in SalalahAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-15704127355415025092010-04-12T19:19:08.342+04:002010-04-12T19:19:08.342+04:00Nadia: I agree with your post lol, depsite our niq...Nadia: I agree with your post lol, depsite our niqab dispute in the past, I realized you were against niqab for the same reasons I am, and for it for the same reasons as I am lol. MashaAllah, keep rocking Salalah:POmani Princess (not Omani...yet)https://www.blogger.com/profile/11738377563210269837noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-81230910055318066522010-04-12T08:30:28.875+04:002010-04-12T08:30:28.875+04:00@ Curry Pan,
Talking about Theo van Gogh, have yo...@ Curry Pan,<br /><br />Talking about Theo van Gogh, have you also seen the Hardtalk interview of Stephen Sackur? You can check it out on Youtube: "Fascist Exposed - Ayaan Hirsi Ali on HARDtalk [BBC]".Alhamaskhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07537172092596825596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-46334936275323359552010-04-11T22:47:51.557+04:002010-04-11T22:47:51.557+04:00@ Fdayooh No1 Kmayooh
Have you actually considere...@ Fdayooh No1 Kmayooh<br /><br />Have you actually considered the consequences resulting from female genital mutilaton??? Do you know that reducing female sexual pleasure could lead to marital rape??<br />Islamic law is well-defined through a tradition of jurisprudence. The sources of that law are, in order of importance: the Qur'an which is the Muslim scripture, the practice of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and his community (passed on through hadîth, consensus (which may be census of the scholars or of the entire community--a point of controversy) and ijtihâd or the individual efforts of scholars to attain understanding of the sharî`ah (i.e., the Divine Law). I am pretty sure this you very much know!<br /><br />The Quran is best understood within its own context, i.e., to fully understand a passage in the Quran, you will have to refer to another passage within the Quran – Same applies to hadith of the Prophet (s.a.w.). This is why the teachings of Islam are perfect and do not contradict each other. <br /><br />There is no mandate at all for female circumcision, however. Although female circumcision is not mandated, the hadith you are quoting is of disputed authenticity permits (but does NOT encourage) the removal of a minuscule segment of skin from the female prepuce, provided no harm is done. Permitting such a ritual constitutes an act of tolerance by Islamic law for pre-Islamic practices, and may be overruled by the Islamic prohibition against harmful acts. Consider, for example, that Islamic law protects a woman's right to sexual enjoyment, as demonstrated by the fact that a woman has the right to divorce on the grounds that her husband does not provide sexual satisfaction. It follows that Islamic law prohibits clitorodectomy (partial or complete) or infibulation, or any genital mutilation which impairs the woman's ability to enjoy sexual relations. <br />For Muslims, cliterodectomy and infibulation should be considered harâm (prohibited) practices and opposition to it should be part of our ongoing mandate to fight against superstition and oppression. As to the mildest form of female circumcision, the risks to the girl's future ability to enjoy sexual relations with her husband must place it at best in the category of makrûh (disliked) practices. Since it has neither hygienic nor religious value, there is no justification for Muslims to engage in this painful and potentially harmful practice and it would be best to avoid it completely.<br />The teachings of Islam are clear and not mixed up with error. Anything that leads to harm is prohibited, leave alone the fact that anything harmful is completely prohibited! It is not my intention to lecture you, but to caution you that the hadith you quoted, which is attrubuted to the Prophet (alayhis-salaam), is not compatible to the teachings of Islam and the Sciences of Hadith have demonstrated its weakness. There are thousands of such Hadith.Alhamaskhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07537172092596825596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-58610373915601601832010-04-10T17:17:40.805+04:002010-04-10T17:17:40.805+04:00(part 5)
Finally, I’m not sure if you were trying...(part 5)<br /><br />Finally, I’m not sure if you were trying to show how words can be twisted or not, but you say that: “I really lost you here, so your saying; it only can be a conspiracy if it happens in the west but not in here; So you're saying men in here are not trying to exploit women sexually; so you're saying women in here are more treated like human not sexual entities. So (finally) you're saying our women are more respected than yours, am I right?”<br /><br />Basically, what I was hoping to bring forth since my very first comment – is that there are some women EVERYWHERE, who suffer from the kinds of abuse (and worse) that Nadia describes. The discrimination against women is NOT a Dhofari phenomenon, but it is widespread in ALL societies. It is simply SHOWN differently, that is all. EXTREMES of any kind are discrimination. Women who are forced to objectify themselves and be put on display in flimsy clothes are discriminated against. Women who are forced to hide and are sort of ‘imprisoned’ in their homes are also discriminated against. Both are exploited sexually and treated like they are sexual entities and not human beings. The first, by being placed on display like sex toys and encouraged to do so by the male population, the second, by being placed into a position of complete submissiveness (a big sexual power game) and preserved as sex toys ‘for the husband’s eyes only’ – hidden from view completely lest someone else was to see them and think he would like to have them as their sex toy instead. Where there are extremes there cannot be RESPECT. See, here Nadia writes about women not being allowed to work, another example, and yet wanting to work. I just want to add that in the west women also do not have a choice - Nadia, it may seem that women in the west have more freedom because they can work - but in reality majority of women in the west HAVE to and MUST work. Otherwise, without a two-income household, most cannot afford to have children, buy a house, etc. In the west, the women's fight to have some basic rights as human beings was monopolized by the leaders of their societies to extract more money, increase the costs of living, etc. Uffff … I don’t know … I’m getting a headache …<br /><br />Lastly, let’s not spend more time bickering with each other. We both don’t really have anything to prove. What’s more, I think we are on the same page. You are an intelligent and, it seems, happily married man with values and beliefs and respect for his wife and family. I am a married woman with a wonderful husband, and I have beliefs and values that would probably match most of your own. So we should now work together to help OTHERS, men and women alike, who are not as fortunate as we are, to achieve the same things that we have.<br /><br />All the best,<br />One WomanOne Womannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-89717565523732956962010-04-10T17:11:22.765+04:002010-04-10T17:11:22.765+04:00(part 4)
What I am talking about here is not wome...(part 4)<br /><br />What I am talking about here is not women’s rights – but human rights. You can be seen having a chat with my husband and myself, and most likely you will experience no problems. Maybe only curiosity – who are they? how do you know them? etc. But you being seen bringing your wife to such a meeting? Even if you do not see a problem in it, you know that there will be those who will see it as something horrible. Don’t you think this is an issue? For a while, one Omani friend of ours would bring his wife with him when he visited. But this had to stop when people found out about it and began to draw all kinds of wrong, sick, conclusions. She is now pregnant again, mashallah, strictly at home, and I only get to hear about her and how she is doing from her husband. I don’t think I’ll ever get to see her again, and I am saddened. She didn't do anything wrong, neither did I, nor her husband ... but someone thinks we did.<br /><br />*To Nadia – perhaps you should consider publishing some of these ‘hate’ comments that you get. It would certainly put some things into perspective and perhaps even enlighten some of your readers as to what kind of people (men and women) are out there. The people who make up the core of the problem we are discussing.<br /><br />In terms of twisting words and conspiracy theories – first, you are most right when you say and point out that any comment can be taken and twisted to suit whatever purpose. However, my intention was not to twist your words beyond comprehension and give them a diabolical meaning – as I am sure you did not intend to do with my words. It is here that we have to allow for ‘passion’ or strong emotions that make people like you and me write comments in the first place. We have to be aware that many things – culture, language, tradition, even gender! – both yours and mine, affect how we read and interpret and understand certain things. Thus, it was not my intention to convince you or anyone else that your thoughts are contradictory – I was merely pointing out that TO ME some things ‘sounded’ contradictory. Like, for instance, having women work hand in hand with the men and be equally involved in making decisions (all awesome, by the way!) – seems contradictory to the fact that many women are not allowed to show their face, or go anywhere on their own for fear of recognition. Or that you want women to have freedom and liberty, but not COMPLETE control over their lives – well, how do we then define freedom? And who decides which part of a woman’s life she can control, and which parts she doesn’t? Men? Parents? Who? And if parts of her life are controlled by others and she has no say about them – then what happens to the whole ‘working hand in hand’ and being ‘involved in decision making’? <br /><br />Also, I know that you did not mean to stereotype ALL western people and societies as having a ‘sick mentality’, but I just wanted to show you how people can – and some most likely did – misinterpret what you were trying to say, and that the coin can be turned around and applied to your society or any other in the world. I had hoped that you would simply be more careful and use limiting words like some, few, certain, etc. when referring to entire cultures and societies. Otherwise, it becomes stereotypical and, frankly, offensive. You, yourself, felt offended when you would read MEN this and that, without it being specifically said SOME MEN, NOT ALL, etc. Well, same here.One Womannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-4905729322319574242010-04-10T17:05:47.711+04:002010-04-10T17:05:47.711+04:00(part 3)
In a way, the young men of this region a...(part 3)<br /><br />In a way, the young men of this region also face a set of problems and restrictions imposed upon them by the society, or women specifically. He must ensure to have education. Then he must ensure to get a job that pays well enough. Then he must get a horrifically large bank loan – to pay for the bride, for the wedding, for various extravagant presents to the in-laws – all at completely unrealistic prices for his income. Finally, when he does marry, he then spends the majority of his working life paying for this privilege – with interest! It is easy to see how a young man may feel betrayed by his wife if – after everything that he has gone through to make sure he can marry her, take care of her and provide for her – for example, she says that she does not wish to spend her days in this home that has cost him his financial freedom, but that she wants to work and earn money herself. He may even feel like she is insulting him and suggesting that he does not earn enough money for her needs. … This could be one of those ‘causes’ you were talking about …<br /><br />On another note, you say that it is lame for me to say it is discriminating that women in Dhofar are cooped away in private stalls and that we should have the option to sit all together (I did not mention with uncovered faces, that was another point, which is that freedom to work hand in hand with men and build societies and make decisions cannot be achieved if a person is always ‘hidden’ away, whether behind a veil or four walls. You’ll note that women who do work, whether in Nawras or some government institution, are NOT allowed to cover their faces while at work – and this is with good reason). Yes, some occasions in the west and all over the world, call for private gatherings and private rooms for these affairs. For example, there is no need to have a public wedding, because not everyone knows the bride and groom and their families wish to celebrate their good fortune with each other only. <br /><br />What I was talking about is this complete segregation – and the restaurant is only one facet. Another would be the girls in the classroom, seated like sardines of tuna in the back, not able to see the lesson very well, nor to hear the lecture, nor to put up their hand and participate in their own education, because the boys have seated themselves comfortably everywhere else around the room and could ‘hear’ their voice if they were to speak. <br /><br />Let me give you another example of what I mean – let’s say that in our little chat through this blog, we find that we actually have a lot in common, and that we would like to continue our conversation outside of the cyber world. To this effect, my husband decides that it would be really nice for you and your wife to meet with him and I, have a cup of tea, and pleasant conversation between four educated and intelligent adult individuals. Is it possible for this to happen? Would we then be able to go to Browniz, order tea, and chat? Or would we have to get a ‘private’ room somewhere? What would happen if someone you know or that knows you, saw you taking your wife to a private room, lets say in Browniz, with two ‘strangers’? I mean, this is hypothetical, but why should we (e.g. my husband and I and you and your wife) not be able to meet with each other if we wanted to, for simple exchange of thoughts? Why should there be gossip and tongues wagging if we did – or, more specifically, if your wife joined us too? WHY IS THERE THIS NEED FOR COMPLETE ANONYMITY, like in this blog, our nicknames, etc.? Look at all the other female Omani bloggers – they are all also anonymous. Why do females have to hide behind a fake façade to express their thoughts? Why shouldn’t we discuss whatever we feel are pressing issues freely – after all, we are not doing anything immoral, or illegal? This was the point, not necessarily the idea of private rooms in restaurants, which I think are a good idea to have … in BALANCE and MODERATION.One Womannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-12397420498621571852010-04-10T17:00:41.044+04:002010-04-10T17:00:41.044+04:00(part 2)
This is what I think is happening here. ...(part 2)<br /><br />This is what I think is happening here. We need a place to rant and rave and shout out our feelings towards this problem – and in this way to acknowledge it as a problem. I don’t know how you felt when you read Nadia’s blog on discrimination the first time – but I can assure you that it made my blood boil and the tiny hairs on the back of my neck to stand up for hours afterwards. Majority of us commenting after reading this bombshell of a blog – I only assume! – felt the same way I did, especially the women. This, in turn, made us write responses about the injustices that can, and do, take place in this WORLD (not merely Dhofar, as I pointed out several times). Now – and this is up to Nadia to continue in her blog – we need to discuss what possible ways there are to solve and try to root out this problem. It’s like a psychiatrist would try to deal with a patient’s problem – first Acknowledgment, then Denial, then Acceptance, then Understanding, and finally CHANGE.<br /><br />You say that you: “… find people calling men fools, arrogant, stupid you name it (isn't this the same discrimination your fighting against). I see others accusing Dhofaries of being "misogynist" (women haters) and lack understanding of their religion. Would you like me to continue?!!!! Is this your meaning of solidarity and support?” I can see how the above negative adjectives that some of us have used in our comments would make your hair stand on the back of the neck. BUT, here’s the catch – I don’t think anyone (at least I know for sure I did not, nor did I read any comments thinking this) actually was calling ALL MEN or ALL DHOFARIS fools / mysogynists / not truly religious. I believe that the people commenting were referring to those men who abuse women. In my case, I did call men who prefer FULL circumcision of women ‘fools’ – because these are men who think it is BETTER if a woman’s entire genitals are cut off and mutilated, not the kind of superficial circumcision you were talking about as a part of ritual and resembling that of the males. What would you call them? I know you said ‘ignorant’, but isn’t this the same? Someone who is ignorant is therefore foolish when he (or she!) makes decisions based on ignorance and refuses to listen to those who are more educated, wiser, etc. And their ignorance and foolishness makes them into even greater ‘fools’ when they use religion – whatever that religion may be (because this type of female mutilation happens in too many places around the world) – as the reason and justification for their ignorant yet terribly cruel act. However, this word ‘fools’, also applies to the women who support this ignorance, encourage it, and ensure that it is done on their daughters.<br /><br />Also, in some of the examples that Nadia gives, SOME of the men described there are most certainly ‘women haters’. For one example – I do not think anyone, out of the goodness of their heart and pure love, decides to LIE to a woman making all sorts of promises to her before the marriage, only to act in a COMPLETELY OPPOSITE manner afterwards and crush all of his wife’s hopes, dreams and ambitions for the future. Ask your wife how she would feel if, suddenly, you decided that everything the two of you have agreed on is wrong, and she has to do the exact opposite of it. This type of deception makes a person feel like they are worthless, not respected, less than human, and it is horrible to have to live with it as your reality every day for the rest of your life. How would you feel if SHE did that to you? And, again, this problem of deception, for example, is a problem everywhere in the world, not just Dhofar, and it is a problem that affects BOTH men and women – because for every lying man, there is also a lying woman. However, I think this blog – and hence the responses – deals primarily with the ways in which ONLY SOME men treat their women, so it does not allow for an exploration of the wider reaches of the problem.One Womannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-2877734119941224542010-04-10T16:58:32.076+04:002010-04-10T16:58:32.076+04:00Dear Fdayooh,
(part 1)
Thank you for your respon...Dear Fdayooh,<br /><br />(part 1)<br /><br />Thank you for your response. I really like reading your comments, they make me think, even if I don’t always agree :). Hopefully you realize that I refer to certain feeling of ‘anger’ in your second to last comment due to the strong language you use and some very, very strong lines of what can be perceived as an ‘attack’ on expat comments – i.e. ‘sick westernized mentality’, etc. You have every right to your feelings, although I hope you can see that it is not only expats who are writing comments, and that some of the local people are using equally strong and colourful language. <br /><br />I am certainly not going to take any offence to your comments, as I think that you are probably a person who is of a very like mind to myself – and I hope you did not take any offence either from my comments. I think our main differences, that have created this ‘spark’ of discussion through comments, lie not so much in the different cultures we come from, but in the fact that you are a man and I am a woman! I cannot tell you how many times I have had the following kind of conversation with my brother and my husband, respectively – Me: “I think that 2+2=4” and they say: “What!? How can you think that when everyone knows that 2+2=4?” and I go on: “So, what, are you saying that 2+2 is not 4?” and they reply: “Everyone seems to know that 2+2=4, except you will not agree” and I say: “But I AM saying that 2+2=4” and they stop, look at me, and say: “Really? I am also saying that 2+2=4” and then we usually have a little sigh, and a little laugh about it. I think that due to certain aspects, biological and otherwise, men and women perceive things differently, and therefore express their views through a different use of language. Men tend to be a lot more direct and to the point, whereas women certainly like to use more words and more descriptions when they speak about almost anything … hey, just take a look at the crazy length of my comments and you’ll see that I am at least right about women as far as I go :). See, you read about the problem, and now you want to help fix it – direct and to the point – but us women, we are still on describing the details of the problem as we see them, exasperated because we do not yet see a solution.<br /><br />Actually, I feel like you, that we should use this place to talk to each other, feel free to disagree and agree, share ideas, etc., – but also, to share simply our feelings and thoughts, which sometimes baffle us and to which we have no easy answers or solutions.<br /><br />One word can sum up almost everything I have to say about your last comment – TOUCHE! I know, I know, it’s French and all, but really, I think you’ve nailed certain things to the wall in the precise spot!<br /><br />You are most correct when you say that you thought: “… the intention of this blog is to highlight the problems, study the causes and find solutions” and then you point out that this is not really what is happening in the comments. However, I also think that in order to begin to discuss causes and offer solutions to any problem, we have to first acknowledge what the problem is, talk about the different aspects of the problem itself, share how we feel and think about it (i.e. our attitude towards it), and only perhaps then can we begin to be constructive in our criticism of it.One Womannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-7772060535908958862010-04-09T15:22:44.039+04:002010-04-09T15:22:44.039+04:00hi, i'm back after a think, as promised. I won...hi, i'm back after a think, as promised. I wonder if you've seen the video made by Theo van Gogh on an islamic woman's story! (sorry my question mark key is broken)<br />do check it out. it's called Theo Van Gogh, Submission part 1, and you can find it on youtube.Curry Panhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10835415563921371790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-88016981990797730632010-04-08T21:14:04.551+04:002010-04-08T21:14:04.551+04:00What I got to say about this is in here:
http://h...What I got to say about this is in here: <br />http://howtolovedavey.blogspot.com/2010/04/discrimination-against-women-in-dhofar.html <br /><br /><br />sighs.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088783565849701867.post-26549905692803851192010-04-08T04:35:31.418+04:002010-04-08T04:35:31.418+04:00To One Women
First of all, let's be clear, my...To One Women<br /><br />First of all, let's be clear, my post was not entirely a response to you earlier comments, I guess I've made it very clear that it is directed to everyone. If you really have read all the posts, you will find that some have started criticizing our way of life and started questioning some of our religious practices. It is only for those people that I have written my post. However, if you feel like your comments have unleashed my "anger" be my guest. <br /><br />As you said (spot on) people either showed solidarity or support. However is this exactly what we came here for? I thought the intention of this blog is to highlight the problems, study the causes and find solutions. However, I find people calling men fools, arrogant, stupid you name it (isn't this the same discrimination your fighting against). I see others accusing Dhofaries of being "misogynist" (women haters) and lack understanding of their religion. Would you like me to continue?!!!! Is this your meaning of solidarity and support? <br /><br />You want families to go out for dinner and sit with every1 else and women should not cover their faces. So by not doing this we are discriminating against our women, right? (How lame!!!). I thought that privacy is very much appreciated in the west and people pay huge somes of money to get their private rooms in a restaurant, or have their private first class suites when they travel etc. how did that become a women rights issue?<br /><br />You really have the tendency to twist my words to suite your argument here. I have defined what I feel women in Salalah are in need of and im not gonna say it again. You better use your energy in finding ways to accomplish those needs instead of trying to convince every1 else that I'm contradicting myself.<br /><br />So I'm a fan of conspiracy theory. Plz read the following "Believe me, miniskirts are NOT a ‘freedom’ that women in other societies ‘choose’ – it is, in fact, IMPOSED upon them by a society in which MEN want that. Believe it or not, those women also do not have a choice and are brainwashed and abused by the social dictum propagated by the men of their society" cpoy pasted from your comment above.looooooooooooooooooooool so who is into conspiracy theory now. I really lost you here, so your saying; it only can be a conspiracy if it happens in the west but not in here; So you're saying men in here are not trying to exploit women sexually; so you're saying women in here are more treated like human not sexual entities. So (finally) you're saying our women are more respected than yours, am I right?<br /><br />You see how easy one can twist other's words into his advantage. I guess I have said it all. I need not to comment on you stereotype part for the sake of not giving you the pleasure of twisting my words again :)<br /> <br />Please take no offence and let us work together to identify and segregate the main problems and find solutions that will actually be accepted by the society. <br /><br />yours sincerely<br /><br />FdayoohFdayooh No1 Kmayoohhttp://www.google.comnoreply@blogger.com