So you haven't been hearing from me as often as I would like, but what can I do? After the laze of summer, monsoon, Ramadhan and Eid Al Fitr, things got crazy at work and in my personal life. Everything was postponed till 'After Eid Al Fitr'. And so I've been killing myself trying to get my life (and my colleagues) back into shape. Just as things began to get organized, we were hit with yet more holidays and we have another week of holidays next week. I know holidays are great for everyone, but this is just insane. You do realize we'll be holiday-less all the way to July 23rd, right? (unless some GCC king or prince dies and we get 3 days to mourn of course!).
.
(1) I've been helping one of my relatives through an ugly divorce these past couple of months (which means spending 3 or 4 hours with both sides of the marriage two or three times a week trying to figure stuff out). It's ugly, sad, and uncalled. He's only been married six months but his idea of marriage is totally screwed up. As much as I respect and love my cousin, I think he's crazy. If you're contemplating marriage, don't make mountains out of mole hill.
.
(2) Everyone seems to be outraged about the 'most expensive Christmas tree in the world' that has been revealed in Abu Dhabi. Instead of raising hell about a symbol of the Christian holiday being up in a Muslim country, I suggest you raise hell about the cost instead. Evidently the total cost of the ornaments is 11 Million. WTF? Seriously WTF. Dear UAE, If you really wanted to do something to celebrate Christmas, why not do something useful with the 11 million? Like a Charity campaign in the spirit of Christmas or SOMETHING worthwhile.
.
(3) If you've got a lot of negative energy and anger that needs to be released, I suggest you send it in the direction of the asshole I'm going to tell you about. A highly education Omani acquaintance of mine (actually, my brother's colleague) decided he wanted to get married. He's 32, so he figured it was time. He owns a house, a business, two cars, 2 degrees, and a cat. He cooks, cleans, and irons his own clothes. He's smart, relatively good looking, and not too short. To sum it up, he's a good catch (or so I thought). I would have considered him myself if it weren't for the fact that I'm .... .... anyway, so he searches high and low for a bride. My brother helps him of course. Finally, the perfect girl is found. She's 26, highly educated, 3 degrees, pretty, smart, independent, and from his hometown (Salalah). Everything is perfect. She is willing to meet him at her office before he comes to officially ask for her hand in marriage. Everything sounds ok up to know, right? So he decides to mess it all up because it's too perfect. He was supposed to visit her in early December. He 'postponed' the visit until mid-December because he claimed he was 'Still asking around about her'. I'm NOT KIDDING. He actually told her family that he couldn't come to ask for her hand in marriage yet because he was still asking around about their reputation. Oh. My. God. Loser. Alert.
.
Adding insult to injury, a couple of weeks later he informs her brother-in-law (the initial mediator) that he is not longer interested in her because he discovered her great-grandfather was a slave. I am not kidding, I swear. He decided it was more important to him that his kids come out 'pure'. PURE. He believes if there's any history of slavery in the family, his kids will not live an honorable life. I sat staring at my brother with my mouth wide open as he told me the story. He was as shocked as I was. Has Mr. Asshole looked at a calendar recently? Does he realize WHAT YEAR WE LIVE IN?!!!
.
I'm sorry to say I'm still in shock. I haven't fully digested the story yet and I can only hope the poor girl has a sense of humor and is able to laugh at his stupidity and arrogance. What a loser. I was so upset after I heard that story that I stayed awake all night thinking about it. When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed of murdering the guy. Thankfully, I know what he looks like so my dreams were realistic enough. My brother invited him over to the house once a few months ago and I ACTUALLY COOKED SOMETHING FOR HIM. Ugh. I'm outraged. Beyond outraged.
.
What do you think?! Is it just me or can this guy be nominated for 'Jerk of the Year Award'?
YooQa3 fidaaha, 5aayes waa7id!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear that...
in a way, i'm glad he revealed his true colors at an early stage. cuz really, this way she would know that SHE dodged a bullet, not the other way round as he'd like to believe. i guess we have to go through a bunch of really rotten ones until we find one worth the wait. i sincerely hope she finds the one for her, who would appreciate her, her education and her background. and i hope he falls off a cliff and gets trampled on by mountain goats. :)
ReplyDeleteWhy you guys there cursing and wishing evil to someone who made himslef clear from the very beginning, the guy has full rights to investigate the case in order to know his half for the rest of his life.
ReplyDeleteI realy dislike hypocrites so say the truth and dont give people double-face.
you Nadia iam strongly sure that if someone proposes you wont accept unless you know his family, tribe and so on, thus step slowly and think before you utter.
our society is built on these values,therefore there is no way of escaping them.
Plz answer this question sincerely:
would you accept African-Omani if he asked for your hand?if yes what about your family?if no why?
AHMED
SO LONG
Or maybe the guy fell in love with your cooking that day.hahahahhahaha
ReplyDeleteBe ready for new developments from him!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahmed
SO LONG
The problem is that there are so many jerks out there how on earth do you go about deciding who is the Jerk of all Jerks, ha!ha!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with ftoon887. SO much better that the lady found out before she married him! She shouldn't be praising God for this true revelation of his character! :-)
... He's not the only guy around that should get the 'jerk of the year' award (in my opinion). Many guys live in the middle ages.
ReplyDeleteI must say I was surprised that this guy actually irons his shirts himself and cooks & cleans. Are you sure that by acting this way, he's not just looking for an excuse not to get married? Even in countries where there's hardly any inequality between men & women it's rare to find a guy who works and also cooks, irons & cleans. Unless they're gay of course :-)
Just for the record: I've got nothing against gays and actually have quite a few gay friends. That's probably why your story sounds very familiar to me.
1.Perhaps one of the most common reasons given for divorces is in-compatibility.....thats complete bull-shit.....i believe....we (read men) should think on the lines that compromise
ReplyDeletehas to be from both sides....no one is perfect....its really about giving enough time to the other side......6 months....is just not enough for a stable sort of understanding to be achieved....that in a marriage scenario.
2.Its been the way UAE works....the opening of burj-khalifa.....those millions of dollars spent could have provided food for a lot of people.....shelters for the needy....or even education to the impoverished.....its again....capitalism that wins the race in this christmas tree saga.....Allah tests people in two ways....by giving them too little or by giving them too much....i am sure this time too...Abu-Dhabi's ruler has failed in this stern test.
3.Its really a sorry state we Muslims are in now.......I have heard a lot of these stories from Arab lands and of course.....it continues to happen in other parts of the world too .....tribes, races, castes......something that was eradicated by Islam. In the ways of the world....we have forgotten that its the same earth each and every 1 of us will have to return to....
Ahmed, I'm in love with your comments. As usual, you present a good argument.
ReplyDeleteOf course he has the right to investigate and ask around, but you tell me as a Dhofari man, it is common that we do our investigations 'quietly' without saying anything to the family. His mistake was he told them he wanted the girl, but that he was busy investigating them, so he needed a couple more weeks. He should have kept his big mouth shut and done his investigations THEN contacted the family. They were greatly insulted.
Furthermore, if his real reason is simply her great grand-father was a slave and he's not able to handle that, then he should back away quietly without saying anything. They're really insulted. They're a prominent well respected family in Salalah.
AND YES I would be willing to marry a slave/non slave/ Jebbali/Hadhri/ba7ari/mahri, whatever. As long as the guy is nice, a Muslim, has a nice family and is suitable for me, then why not?? I don't believe in tribal crap. And yes, it's CRAP.
Thank you.
I think the best thing in life is to treat people as they are not measuring them according to their families.
ReplyDeleteit's a real controversial issue Nadia.
At least we should treat, respect people regardless of whatever.
discrimination, devaluation,and disrespect against anyone are traits of the weak and ignorance person.
Ahmed
SO LONG
Ahmed, as usual you contradict yourself. First you support the guy, and now you say we should not measure people by their roots or their families. Make up your mind, will ya? :)
ReplyDeleteI know a similar story. There is a beautiful young English teacher in our village that no one will marry either because her mum's side has slave. Its sad & I do not understand why this matters?
ReplyDeleteShe's lucky. May she find the right one, ameen.
ReplyDeleteInvite him to come again and cook him something nice to make up for last time. And spit in it;)
Idiot of the year indeed. Such a loser. When did ancestry do anyone any good? And what annoys the hell out of me is that he has TWO degrees. Talk about well educated people :roll-eyes:
ReplyDeleteThr good thing for her is this happened BEFORE she married him. She'll find someone who'll make her happier, no doubt, and she'll look back, with a great sense of relief, at how she nearly ended up with the wrong one.
ReplyDeleteASShole
ReplyDeleteWell, my great grand-father isn't a salve, would he accept me?. You know, I just wanna break his nose.
ReplyDeleteSlave of God xD
1) And how did it go with your crazy cousin?
ReplyDelete2) Dear UAE is officially losing control by the name of Millions!, Nobody-Worth -_-
What a jerk! Forget him! Sadly this is not uncommon in this part of the world. Instead of looking at compatibility, people are looking at 'qabeelah' and money. We see too much discrimination based on ancestry and colour.
ReplyDeleteI'm from East African and I see how they look down on Africans here openly calling them slaves, laughing at them. Do you think anyone of them could bring themselves to marry a woman who might have even a drop of 'slave' blood? Some Arab Africans I know do their best to conceal their African roots so they can avoid the discrimination. Why hide who you are? I guess sometimes it takes real courage to be YOU in this place!
are all these tribes thought to be low in the society that u have mentioned here? just for info, no offence!
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts when I read your post was that I'm surprised that any woman is willing to be put through the trauma of marriage - divorce after 6 months, insults to the family etc. It's sad and shameful.
ReplyDeleteSecond is that the UAE Christmas tree seems to be decorated by a shop - the whole thing seems to have backfired.
http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2010/12/19/abu-dhabi-hotel-regrets-overload-with-11-million-christmas-tree/
UAE just digs itself into a deeper hole every year just to get into the world record book, lol. As for the other loser, well, the girl is lucky to have not been hitched to this guy. And imagine this guy is an educated guy, I thought it was how *backward* people who thought like that, sighhhhhh......sf
ReplyDeleteNadia - can you give us an update on Sleepless in Salalah? I read Sweet Salalah and I wondered if the situations were similar?
ReplyDeleteThis guy is a complete failure! I love this post. It seems that Omani guys aren't too different from NYC Muslim guys!
ReplyDeleteThe guy has a cat........does it have a name ?
ReplyDeleteInteresting post. Not sure what he calls the cat ( why is this relevent ?) but understand that it adopted him. He did not buy it and was not given it. He did however pay for all the vaccinations etc.
ReplyDeleteTypical.....you people end up discussing the CAT !!! What about contrasting the difference between relatives with SLAVE BLOOD and Great Grandmothers who were SLAVE OWNERS. Strange standards are being applied. Shame on you ALL
ReplyDeleteHe paid for vaccinations etc.......so not a total s..t ?!?
ReplyDeleteGive this guy a break.....he gives his christian servants (not slavea) the day off on Christmas and Easter Sunday
ReplyDeleteHope Nadia has her sleep back to normal. Personally the story of her cousin did not give me nightmares.....unlike some of the responses......Just for the record I have friends who are gay.....friends who sort their rubbish for recycling.....friends who always refuse plastic bags at the supermarkets .
ReplyDeleteFROM NYC MUSLIM GUY
ReplyDeleteRespect to you all. The Omani guy in this post is COOL !!!
Dear Nadia, thank you for your interesting Blog. I wish to remain anonymous but "friends " have shown me your blog ( which is wonderful. Congratulations )because they think I may be the village, single, English teacher. I also have 2 degrees so feel I am able to speak for myself. In the National Day break I went to the UAE with my family. We were able to visit the Abu Dhabi Christmas Tree. To me, although I am not a Christian, it was very beautiful.
ReplyDeleteWhat=s happening Nadia ? Yoy are filtering out posts which challenge your opinions....even though you ask for our opinions ????????????????????????????
ReplyDeleteDegrees, degrees, Degrees
ReplyDeleteand yet what do our sisters want....
to break noses,
to spit on food,
to vaccinate CATS,
to fly Muscat/Salalah round trip because of an inability to make an interesting sandwich
(see Subway Post)
Could someone please confirm that it is 2011?
We really do appreciate your blog, Nadia.We are greatful that you take the trouble.
Please do not aid the argument that it was better when our daughters were taught needlework and cooking BASS.
At least when they could cook we had no need of Pizza Hut, KFC and Subway.
I am hungry. Any new recipes ?
As the weather is cool here in Salalah you might like to try Qisher ( a coffee drink with ginger) One and a half cups of cold water, 5 tablespoons sugar, 3 tablespoons dark-roast coffee and 1 tablespoon groungd ginger.
ReplyDeletePut the water in a coffee pot that can stand a direct flame.
Add the coffee, sugar, and ginger and bring to a boil.
Remove from the heat and when the bubbling stops, return to the heat and bring to a boil again.
Repeat this a third time, then let it rest for 2 minuets,
Serve the QISHIR in finjans. Makes 3-4 servings. Enjoy
Two posts have asked for confirmation of the year. I have checked my diary and can confirm ( as requested ) it is 2011. A usful tip to avoid the embarrassment of requesting such confirmations.......the local newspapers always have the year (day and date also) on the top of the front page. You even do not have to buy the paper. Just write down the year on a piece of paper. If you repeat this on a regular basis you will even see when the year changes. All for free.Hope this helps
ReplyDeleteI have a recipe for cooking bass , by steaming it ,but want 2 try it out myself first.Like all fish it is better to cook using fresh ingrediants. Does anyone know the local name for bass ? I showed a friend a color illustration and he told me it was "muchlee" but everyone laughs when I ask for it by this name from the fishermen. Help please
ReplyDeleteNo new recipes, I was looking forward to something for the weekend but Nadia seems to be keeping them all for hersef.
ReplyDeleteSteam cooked sea bass sounds great.I am not sure what the local sea bass looks like so I tried to ask for "a muchlee" at the fish souq here in the north but was rewarded with howls of laughter. Please let me know if we are not pronouncing the arabic correctly.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reminding us of Qishir.My Yemini grandmother ust to make it , but from the ground husks of coffee beans. I tried your recipe and it was almost as good as I remember.Does anyone have a picture of the Abu Dhabi expensive tree ? I cannot go see it for myself.
ReplyDeleteMy (mixed marriage) mother-in-law spent 8 happy years in Salalah, so I thought I would impress her by making Qisher, and baking a cake.She is normally VERY critical of my kichen skills but she loved the Qisher drinking 3 cups of it leaving only 1 for my husband, her eldest son.This was probably too much liquid intake, as thereafter she could only manage one small mouthful of the cake I had baked specially for her. She told my husband that it tasted like "muchlee" and he told me this means "sweet" in their local language. Perhaps this explains why the fishermen do not understand when you ask for "a muchlee"
ReplyDeleteLove this post. It has more twists and turns than the 'Bold And The Beautiful'(am I the only one to think Ridge is not handsome and does not deserve Brooke ?)I have to confess to feeling guilty. The Abu Dhabi Christmas tree which I was able to visit....view it by google... had amazing decorations, especially the ruby necklace placed 4 branches up from the bottom.The nearby gold-dispensing ATM was really convient for last minute gifts - we always forget somebody or other who suprises us with an unexpected present.
ReplyDeleteI feel people should not be so quick to critisize . The tree was artificial so no Rain Forests were violated. Gold and diamonds are the quintessential recycleable materials. Witness the time we spend annually in the gold souq refreshing our jewelry.
Christmas tree decorations : 11 million,
ReplyDelete1 million
1000, 100, 10, is just a matter of degree. So who is not guilty ?
Let us remind ourselves this is Dhofari Gucci Blog NOT Dhofari Sally Spectra/Jacki-O Blog .....and as for Brooke Logan : surely she is the "quintessential recyceable" girl. How many marriages ????Obviously no problem with Grandmother's blood. The gene pool of her kids, however, must be quite shallow.
Just for the record MUCHLEE is not arabic.It is probably the Hindi word MACHLI which (unfortunately for at least one post) means fish in general. It makes no sence to ask for "a machli" but is undoubtedly the source of amusment for the fish sellers.
Salaams Mishkak
Marriage, Slavery, Cats,Fish, Recipes, fishcakes, Sandwiches,11 Million Dollar Ornaments : Dhofari Gucci certainly delivered on her promise to amuse and educate. This must be a record for the greatest number of Posts in response to an item on her wonderful Blog ?
ReplyDeleteI cannot resist linking it to her latest 'You Know You're A Dhofari When...'
by adding
"....when you read Nadia's End Of December 2010 Blog and swear you know the true identity of every anonymous Posting. The Shikaks pretending to be Dhofari and the Dhofari pretending to be a Shikak.
"Wallahi Suduqni....Ridge and Brook are preIslamic amorphic names enjoyinf a resurgance of popularity. Example ? Radd (lightening)"
As in Hollywood there should be a footnote warning....ANY RESEMBLANCE TO ACTUAL PERSONS, LIVING OR DEAD, IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL. NO ANIMALS WERE INJURED IN THE MAKING OF THIS ....BLOG. (well perhaps a fish or two)
THE END
Salaam, Shikak
THE END = BASS (not Bass) KALASS
ReplyDeleteIs "Shikak" the female version of "Mishkak" ?
ReplyDelete