Fear Not for I am Right Here!

Nadia is alive and well. Sitting at her desk after work hours blogging. How nerdy is that? I should be racing to my car like all the other employees in order to be at home and in bed before official office hours end. Work ethic in Oman can be QUITE frustrating sometimes.

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(1) This is just a random post with bits and pieces of news I've written down on scraps of paper in my bedroom, bathroom, office, car, etc. We can start with the fact that IHMD dude introduced me to the actual website for our upcoming first shopping mall in Salalah. For those interested, check out Salalah World . It seems we're going to have shops, a cinema, bowling alley, AND A CAFE THAT SERVES REAL COFFEE!!! I'm counting the days. For those who wish to uncover my identity, kindly note that I will change Dhofari Gucci headquarters to the new cafe, and you can just ask a waiter 'Who's the girl who orders more than three cups of coffee per hour?'. I'm ruined.

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(2) The flags are up for National Day! Exciting! I love seeing the workers raising the flags on all the poles up and down the highway and major roads. For the past week, the major highway has been under construction as they put up our brand new hideous gold and black street lights that looks like something out of 18th century England.

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(3) I was planning on making an official visit to the new Sultan Qaboos Grand Mosque in Salalah, but my friend *soon-to-be-blogger* went on the weekend and was told that women aren't allowed into the men's section. Yes, you heard me right. Women are only allowed into one part of the mosque! Outrageous!!! It was at 10:00 a.m. Visiting time! What the heck is the government thinking? Everyone should be allowed into the mosque when it's not prayer time! Look at the Grand Mosque in Muscat! Expats, Christians, Jews, Hindus, Women, Men, wheelchairs, EVERYONE can go in when it's not prayer time, as long as they're dressed modestly. And my friend, so innocent in her burqa (niqab) and abaya wasn't allowed in. Very annoying.

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(4) I went to Lulu Centre yesteday and bought a Freej coloring book and a box of new Steadler coloring pencils. For some reason, I feel like coloring. And why not good old granny Freej? For those of you who don't know Freej, it's the UAE 3D animated series with the old lady in the niqab. Most school notebooks nowdays have her picture on them!

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(5) Lots of people I know are preparing for Hajj, the journey of a lifetime. I don't want to say I'm jealous (ehem.. Shahrazad), but I am! I can't wait for the day when I'll be able to go. I hope to go with a husband if and when I ever find one. haha..
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(6) Does anyone have any idea how long the National Day holiday will be and when Eid holiday will be and whether they'll be merged into one nine-day holiday like last Eid? I'm craving a holiday. C.R.A.V.I.N.G.
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Ok, enough blogging for today. I'm having a super-exhausting month at work and have no time for sleeping and eating, let alone blogging. I'm brainstorming posts on spirituality, life, travel, etc, .. season for deep-thinking. I've been writing in my journal almost everyday. Cheers

Note

No I have not disappeared off the face of earth nor have I been kidnapped and murdered by the individuals who hate my blog and think I'm blogging from room 3 at Ibn Sina mental institution. I've been extremely busy. Too busy. Work-wise. I'm in a 'Pissed-Off-by-Wasta' mood today. I should think up a post on Wasta. For those of you who don't know the magic word, Wasta is getting what you want in life when you don't deserve it by using your social connections and the grapevine. Wasta is big in Oman. HUGE.

Salsa Aerobics Salalah!

If you're going to San Francisco ... You're going to meet some gentle people there....

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Hectic HECTIC times. Thanks for all the positive comments on my OmanForum post last week. Very much appreciated. I haven't had time to write because of a 'Work Overdose' as my fellow blogger Bader likes to call it. I've been taking work home everyday now for the past two weeks. I'm also trying to write something for the new bloggers' campaign, but I need to concentrate when I'm writing, so I'll probably do it at home (with a nice cup of tea). .

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Anyway, I've been highly amused with a new gym I discovered in Salalah for women. Before I start explaining the reason behind my amusement, I'll explain a little about the women exercise situation in Dhofar. First of all, men are so damn lucky. They get to throw a pair of shorts and a t-shirt on and go jogging or swimming, and most of them play soccer on a daily basis in Salalah. Soccer is HUGE here. Some play badminton or tennis, and many just work-out in the gym. Easy.

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What about women, though? We spend all day in our black robes, and hardly ever get out on our own, let alone find time to exercise (unless it's within the four walls of our houses). I mean, seriously, how motivating is it to walk on a treadmill for an hour alone? Beyond Boring. It's the easiest recipe for depression. Many women walk along the airport road, but that's also depressing because they're fully clothed (many in face veils) and we live in a tropical town, so ..... yeah.... hot.Anyway, Salalah Al Hamdulillah has several hidden female gyms. In secret neighborhoods and dark alley-ways you may spot a building that has a tiny sign saying 'Health Club'.... on the door there's usually another tiny sign saying 'NO MEN ALLOWED'. Some have signs that say 'No Males Invited'.. I think that's cute. I'm not going to implement the 'What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas' rule, and I'm actually going to explain to you what happens behind those closed doors. VERY amusing.

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Alright, so after sunset many females head to their cars (or their husband/brother/driver's cars) and discreetly make their way to the secret destination. They're dressed from head to toe in black. The car drives into a dark alley-way and parks in front of a seedy looking building with a red-lit sign saying 'Health Club'. The females get out of the car. The first odd thing you notice is that they're carrying a backpack and a suspicious looking roll of something. A what? Yes, a yoga mat. The car drives a way, the women look left and right then slowly open the door and slide into the building. The door remains shut.

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Once you shut that door, you're in another world. Men would kill to see what goes on in there. Big empty well-lit rooms. Mirrored walls. Women chillin' in tights and tank tops. Nike sneakers. Yoga mats. Puma shorts. Sweatbands. Che Guevara t-shirts (you heard me right). Ponytails. Bandanas. Loud Loud Music..... Hot stuff.

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At 8 p.m the aerobics class instructor arrives; dressed in pink tights and a t-shirt with a long blonde ponytail and lime-green sneakers. Women/girls start warming up and playfully shoving each other around the aerobics rooms. All the lights come on. Everyone takes their place in front of the mirror. Music system is ready. Press the play button and get ready to hit the dance floor.

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Global Deejays re-mix 'San Francisco Dreaming' blasts out of the speakers (listen to it. I need you to imagine with me). The instructor usually starts with warm-up exercises then gradually starts the heavy aerobics. Lots of hopping and jumping. Step-work. Mat-work. It goes on for an hour or more. Pain. Torture. But they love it anyway. Often the instructor will ask the girls if they're in for some hip-hop and break-dancing. Everyone will shout 'YEAH!' and out comes the hip-hop CD. She usually starts with The Black Eyed Peas 'Boom Boom Pow' and everyone will show off their dance moves. My favorite is Chris Brown & T-Pain's 'Greatness'. When the girls are feeling a little wild, the belly-dancing CD comes out. One of my expat friends who went there took one look at the place and said 'This is SO Ghetto!'.

The funniest part is that some instructors like doing aerobics to Salsa music. It actually works quite well with aerobics. Lots of hip and shoulder-shaking. The best is Marc Anthony's 'Mi Gente'. Dhofari girls pick up a lot of salsa moves from TV (So You Think You Can Dance/ Dancing with the Stars). After a couple of hours of fun and activity, one by one the women head to the cloak room (literally), change back into their abayas, tie up their hair, apply all the head-pieces until the hijab is complete, tie on the face-veil (burqa), change out of their sneakers, roll up their yoga mats and sneak out. The car is waiting outside (curious driver trying to get a peek as the door opens), woman gets in, and drives off into the night.

Nothing happened, right? Nope.

Salalah's best-kept secret. Dhofari Chicks Rock.

Oman Forum

Some of you may recall that during September the cool founder of OmanForum.com started up a forum for 'Blogs By Omanis & Expats in Oman'. It meant that whenever bloggers published a post in their own blogs, the post would automatically be published in the forum as a new thread. Several bloggers added their blogs to this forum including myself, Reality in Oman, and others. The advantages were that the bloggers were getting more exposure and more readers. Disadvantages were that readers commented directly under the post in the forum (so at times the blogger had no idea when people were commenting).

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However, the worst downfall is that many OmanForum readers used their anonymity to criticize endlessly and to be quite rude at times. They didn't quite understand the concept of 'blogs' and didn't see the 'blogger' as a person; merely were pissed off because some of the posts were personal and not entertaining. One guy commented on my previous 'Mixed Post' by saying "Who cares what you do before you sleep? Your writing is empty". Umm... my dear sir, I am not writing to entertain YOU. This is MY blog, MY space, MY daily journal, and I can DAMN WELL write what I want, thank you very much! I think blogs and forums should be completely independent of one another and kept far away from each other because both have completely different audiences. I found the OmanForum audiences to be rude, rather empty, and not as intelligent and respectful as blog readers. I love my readers and I take time out everyday to check out their blogs and read what they have to say. It's a give and take relationship. We encourage one another to write, and our writing is most certainly not empty.
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This morning I sent an email to the founder of OmanForum asking him to remove my blog from the forum. He wrote back immediately, bless his heart, and informed me that he had removed the entire forum completely. It was obviously misunderstood and not the success he had hoped for.

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Anyway, OmanForum.com is a great place for discussions, even if some of the members are losers. But for serious, deep writing and contemplation, let's stick to blogs and limit your readers to the intelligent type. Cheers. Going to make myself some coffee ...

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PS (an Oman Forum reader would easily reply to this post by saying 'No one wants to know whether you're going to make yourself coffee!!'. .. Haha!!)

Another Mixed Post!

Guess what?! Another random post! I seriously have scatter-brain syndrome, and I'm not even on Twitter, so I don't know what this is all about (i.e. people who use Twitter are usually scatter-brains). Anyway, here are a bunch of thoughts that are swimming around in my brain today:

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(1) I was reading G-Chan's blog this morning and she said it takes her at least an hour of thinking every night before she can contemplate sleeping. Tell me about it! I'm usually in bed at 11 p.m every night, yet I only ever sleep at 1 a.m usually or even 1:30. What do I do in those two hours? I think, analyze, contemplate, brainstorm, etc. I'm an intense person so I can't just imagine pink clouds and go to bed. No, sir, not me. I'm a deep thinker, so it's hard. Anyway, I have about three notebooks beside my bed and a bunch of pens. I usually have amazing ideas in the middle of the night (one of them was to start a blog! look where it got me) that need to be jotted down immediately otherwise I won't sleep worrying that I'll forget them. Finally, to prove to you all that I'm totally wacko, I solve math problems in bed because it helps me sleep. No, I am not a student. No, my career has NOTHING to do with math. Yes, I solve math problems in bed. Try doing (34856 x 32888 /4 - 500) in bed on a piece of paper in semi-darkness.

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(2) You know sometimes you end up having friends in life who are so sweet and kind, it's almost abnormal?! People who always take time out to ask about others, and help them, and who don't seem to carry a bad thought in their head/hearts? People who are pure, generous, caring, loving creatures who seem to be giving their all to the world? Yeah, well, when I first started this blog, I came across one of those creatures. We followed each other's blogs then met for coffee. Our first meeting proved my theory that she is probably one of the sweetest people I've ever know. Yes, I'm talking about you Shahrazad . Who knows, maybe you're evil deep down inside, but I seriously doubt it. You're one of the sweetest people I know. What was that crazy SMS conversation we had last night? It involved soap ... men ... journeys ... MAC makeup?

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(3) I met a very interesting man last night. VERY interesting. Omani orphan raised by expats? He's now a middle-aged man so you can imagine how odd that must be ...
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(4) This entire week the whole of Salalah has been full of ROP security check points. Some say it's standard procedure. Others say there are Somali illegal immigrants causing trouble. Anyway, I was stopped 3 times in a period of 36 hours. That's odd. I see the policemen being rough with all the cars in front of me 'Gimme that license! Why isn't your car renewed! What's this?! Who's that!', etc. They give you the look that says 'I'm tired, I'm a policeman, and I'm going to take it out on you'. HOWEVER, if you're a girl ......... that's a completely different story. He's my encounter last night:

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I'm driving through town and I see a flashing sign "ROP Security Check - Please Stop"...
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Nadia pulls over .. rolls down window and looks for her driver's license and car ownership:

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Police: Good evening, my dear. How are you?

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Nadia: Oh, very well officer. And you? *flashing innocent sweet smile* Policeman melts.

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Police: As you see, it's rough and exhausting. No need to give me your license. Go ahead. Sorry if we caused any inconvenience. (trying to act cool)

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Nadia: Oh that's ok, Officer. Have a nice evening! *flashes another smile*

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It's great being a girl sometimes.
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(5) I was having a conversation with Ma7feef last night about childhood crimes. I'm sure we all did something bad in our childhood that we'd rather not remember. Anyway, I was thinking about it (obviously in bed past midnight) and the only thing that came up in my mind was my evil crimes in grade nine when I was 13. It was my last year at that particular middle school before I hit high school, and the principal of my school was EVIL. When I say 'Evil' I mean evil. She used to chase girls around with scissors in case she saw loose strands on hair, etc *khuslat*. She tortured everyone in our school, including the teachers and I was determined to get my revenge before I left the school. Anyway, I spent two weeks writing an 85-line poem about her in proper 'fus7a' Arabic . On my last day at school I had printed out almost 100 copies of the poem, I went to school really early and I posted a copy up on each classroom door, including a huge colourful copy on her door. The school went into fits of hysterical laughter and the principal ended up 'arresting' several girls whom she thought had written it. I got away fortunately because I look so innocent. Only two or three friends knew about my crime. Yet over 500 people read it and enjoyed it and probably have kept copies of it. It was fun. Do I regret it? Not really.

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(6) I'm really proud of Dhofari bloggers. I don't want to discriminate between different parts of Oman, but we can't deny the fact that 99% of bloggers live in Muscat. I've only come across 4 blogs by Dhofaris. Please if you know any, send them to me! If bloggers in Dhofar can unite, then we can actually do something to serve society down here in the South (the wild wild South). Look at Bloggers Against H1N1 in Muscat! They're actually 'moving' and doing something besides hiding behind their computer monitors writing. Kudos to Bader and Muawiyah and the other Muscat bloggers who are doing something for others. As for Dhofar, I'm giving a shout-out to Ma7feef and Pepsi Diet who were brave enough to start their own blogs. Please spread the word and encourage others to start writing. As for you bloggers in Muscat, you've inspired me, and I admire you.

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Enough writing for now! Have tons of work to do.. Have a great day everyone! (PS: the photo was taken at the lookout point right before Darbat valley).

Salalah Scenes

Hey Everyone,

Sorry for my random posts. I'm still a scatter-brain. I was out shopping last night (abayas! Woohoo! I got two) .. and as I was at the traffic lights in the centre of town with my friend we noticed this building ... Concentrate on the photo and tell me what looks odd... See the towo guys sitting up in that window watching the world? Yes, only in Salalah will you drive through the centre of town and see two guys chilling in their shorts. My friend and I parked the car across the street and being the perfect Paparazzi type, we got out our cameras and started taking photos.

The beginning of the week has been hectic for me, work-wise, so I haven't had time for blogging because my evenings are filled up with committments and activities. My life goes through phases of complete boredom and complete chaos. I prefer the chaos obviously.

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Still have fresh flowers in my office. I'm working on a post for the new bloggers' campaign (will be contacting female bloggers about this soon). Keep your eyes peeled. Omani Bloggers Against........

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Cheers.

Mixed Post

Today I'm a scatter-brain. I want to write but I can't seem to focus on one topic. Bear with me; I'll be writing about a bunch of completely irrelevant things today..

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(1) This morning I have fresh flowers in my office. I even took a photo (see below). Sometimes a girl needs flowers, even if she buys them for herself. I'm extremely busy at work this week, so having flowers around (in addition to my plants) is refreshing. They help to remind me that there's more to life than computer screens and paperwork.

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(2) I'm thinking about death today. When someone dies suddenly (in an accident), the shock can be unbearable sometimes. A person can be driving down the highway listening to his favourite song and within a minute he can be lying on the pavement, a lifeless puppet. A strong reminder of how small we are and how fragile life is. Please please please be careful when you drive. Wear your seatbelt even if you think you're the best driver in the world. Don't use your phone when you're driving. Don't speed. Life is precious. Even if you think your life isn't precious, other people do. You are a human. You are needed in this world. Please take care of yourself.

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(3) When I was getting into my car after work yesterday, I stopped for a moment to listen to the afternoon call to prayer 'Adhan'. From my car I could hear four mosques. Four! I just stood there for a moment or two thinking about it. We, who live in Muslim countries, sometimes don't stop to listen to the Adhan because we're so used to it. A friend of mine who moved to Salalah from the USA told me one day 'You have NO idea how deliriously happy I am to be listening to the call to prayer five times a day from my own living room. You guys are so lucky'. And yes, we are lucky. Today, take a moment out to listen to the call to prayer when it comes.

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(4) I read one of Aristotle's quotes today that made me stop and think: (in my cousin's facebook profile if you really must know) ... ""It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." .... Every single human should take some time out in their life to read about Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle. The world's greatest philosophers. Albus Dumbledore follows.

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(5) Why isn't the new newspaper 'Muscat Daily' available in Salalah? Has anyone read it in Muscat? ReviewS?
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(6) Covered parking lots are a blessing. Thank you dear employer.
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(7) I'm delighted with the Dhofaris who've been starting up their own blogs (whether in English or Arabic). I've been following a new English blog from Dhofar called 'Pepsi Diet' .. http://ihatemountaindew.blogspot.com/ Check it out. I like the way he compared Shisha restaurants in Salalah to pubs in Britain.

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(8) Do you believe in pure friendships with members of the opposite sex?

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Cheers,

Scatter-Brain Nadia

Facebook

I'm planning a post on Facebook in the near future; however, my friend Shahrazad wrote an excellent post on the problem of Facebook among Omani teens. Check out her post here. http://thoughtreservoir.wordpress.com/2009/10/10/two-generations-on-facebook/

Single Ladies Rock

Listening to Lady Gaga first thing in the morning before coffee is disturbing behavior, I know. Should I see a therapist?
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I've been so busy these past couple of weeks and of course the reason is obvious. Omanis sleep during Ramadan (and by sleep, I mean at work) so work accumulates and accumulates, and finally when Eid is over they suddenly realize they're one month behind schedule, and the poor innocent creatures like myself who worked their heads off during Ramadan end up suffering too because they have to 'help' their poor miserable fellow workers keep up.

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Anyway, do you know what it feels like when small pieces of a puzzle seem to be coming together over period of several days? I'll try to explain more; umm.. do you know what it feels like when you suddenly think of a topic and 'Sub7an Allah' over the next few days that same topic keeps on coming up again and again in many different ways through different people, places, etc, and you suddenly come to realize that God is trying to say something to you? You have to be tuned in to your inner self to comprehend that all these pieces are coming together at this particular time in your life for a reason. Everything is meant to be. God planned it that way.
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For example, if you've been thinking about completing your higher studies and you're worried whether it's the right thing to do but you're nervous about telling your family and you don't know whether to study abroad or at home, etc. Well, imagine that the following things happen during one week:
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(1) Your boss suddenly says to you 'You've got potential .. you should do your Masters' someday'

(2) Your company suddenly announced they're granting study leave with pay to outstanding employees.

(3) You get an extra bonus at work (down payment for your first year of studies?)

(4) Your best friend announces they're going to study in the UK in six months.

(5) You get a random email in your inbox from Leeds University with special offers on MAs for students from the GCC.

(6) Your favorite professor lives in Leeds.

(7) Your father announces one day at lunch that he wouldn't mind his daughters studying abroad.
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You see what I mean? This all happens in one week. Signs. Omens. Similar situations have happened to me several times.

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It has happened again this week. A week ago I was going through a mini-depression fit where several incidents occured to young women around me that were upsetting. Of course men were the reason. It upset me that any man would still think he could treat his wife as a slave even if she is working and supporting the family. I almost gave up on the thought of young Omani women being independent modern individuals. Suddenly this week several signs showed up in my life to get me back on track. It's as if God opened up my eyes to the amazing young women around me who are making a life for themselves. It was as if I was seeing them for the firs time. Then slowly more things showed up in my life; aritcles, emails, new blogs by amazing young Omani women, new people, new colleagues, interesting conversations over coffee, a song, lines in a book, etc. All these pieces came together to remind me that 'WOW, there are so many freakin' cool young ladies out there'.

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Oman is changing. It is AMAZING how much things are changing. I don't know what you guys hink about Salalah, but I'm telling you, there are many many many young ladies here who are smart, educated, fluent in English, ambitious, confident, drive cars, and have excellent careers. Not only are they successful in their jobs and studies, but they are also generous and compassionate women who really want to help others find their way too. They also want to be good wives and good mothers. Often, I meet a group of these women and we have 'Empowerment Sessions' or 'Girls Power Hour' to discuss issues we are facing and to give support to one another. Living in Salalah isn't easy for single women who want to do something with their lives. A lot of things are still taboo for young women. I mean, until two years ago the thought of girls driving was still taboo. Now take a look aroudn this town. Every fifth or sixth car is a girl. They're starting up businesses, volunteer groups, committees, and are helping others. They're so excited about this new-found freedom that they're really working hard to be successful, unlike young men here (sad to say). Thus, I've come to the conclusion that by the year 2015 this town will be run by women. Period. Young men don't seem to be doing anything with their lives (or at least the young men around me). It's sad but true.

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If you're a young woman reading this, go ahead and find your shooting star. You're beautiful. You're successful. You're powerful. And it's YOUR life, not anyone else's. If you're a man, go home and encourage the women in your life to find their dreams. Help them. Support them. Show them you'll stand by them. In the end, I think Oman will find a good balance between traditional and modern, and this can only happen with the support of the amazing women in this country. Kudos to you ladies out there. And kudos to all the men who encourage the women in their lives.

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The photo above symbolizes freedom. If I were a bird I'd spend all day flying. Have a great weekend!

I Love Dhofar

Found it!

After endless searching on Google, I decided to type in every possible website that came to mind

http://www.y.om/
http://www.yoman.com/
http://www.yoman.net/
http://www.y-oman.com/

etc, etc...

And guess what? I FOUND IT!!

http://www.y-oman.com/

Check it out (i.e the more intelligent version that came out this year) can be downloaded off the website in PDF form. Someone told me there are some good articles written by Omanis in the magazine. I'm searching for those specific articles. I can't believe they've discussed Kanye West's stupid VMA moment in the new issue!! Like Oman needs to know?

Help!

Does anyone know if 'Y Magazine' have a website or where I can find some of their articles online?

Weekend!!!!

I'm deliriously happy that it's Wednesday. In three hours I'll be completing the world's LONGEST working week. It felt like forever. Just a quick note because I have no time to blog. The government wasted so much money setting up the traffic lights at Salalah's busiest roundabout (near the Royal Air Force base?) and they F.A.I.L.E.D miserably. They've switched them off now because they were causing so many traffic jams. Why wasn't it better planned? How are they going to solve the traffic problems in Salalah? Build bridges? What a mess.

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Meanwhile, a reader wrote to me asking for a photo of the famous Omani/Dhofari sandwich (described in my profile) and I felt obliged to post it on Dhofari Gucci. This is what most Dhofari families take on picnics and eat at home as a snack when there's nothing else in the kitchen. It may look plain disgusting but it's actually quite good. I haven't had one for a few years but I'm inspired to go out and find some Chips Oman if they still sell it.
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Have a great weekend!

Divorce

. I'm a little shocked. In fact, I'm really shocked. THREE people I know got a divorce this week. THREE. Why has marriage/divorce become so easy in Salalah/Oman nowdays? I was just talking to a friend on the phone half an hour ago and she gave me everyone's divorce news. As I was talking to her, I received a text message from another friend telling me 'Did you hear that so & so got a divorce? On the third day of Eid!'. Need I mention that all three cases were results of an arranged marriage? Two of the cases involve a very young baby (six months in one case, eight months in the other). The third couple didn't have kids, thank goodness. But, hey, seriously, if you have a six month old baby, are you seriously going to consider divorce? What's going to happen to the child? Obviously the kids live with their mothers, but what kind of a life is that? A young child needs 'parents'. Two.
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Another point worth mentioning is that both women got pregnant immediately after the wedding. Umm... hello? If you're marrying a stranger (i.e arranged marriage), wouldn't you want to wait a bit before getting pregnant? Wouldn't you want to figure out if you can really live with your partner and if it's safe to have kids? So many young people realize from the beginning that they have serious relationship problems and they dumbly assume that if they have a child, all their problems will be gone. Like magic.

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It saddens me to see how people of my generation see divorce as just another option. I get married, I get divorced, I get married again, I get divorced ... 3adi. So many young men especially threaten divorce if they have ANY small argument with their wives. I know so many young women who suffer from husbands who threaten divorce on a monthly basis. They use it as a weapon. Whether they mean it or not doesn't matter. All that matters is that the couple will never have stability in their marriage if the women is on her tiptoes 24/7 waiting for him to explode again and threaten divorce.
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Society in Salalah has real issues with choosing 'the right partner' for marriage. It's taboo to get to know members of the opposite sex before marriage, but how else are you supposed to know if the person is right for you or not? We CANNOT depend on parents' advice when choosing a partner anymore. My generation has different requirements and needs when it comes to marriage. As I mentioned in my Internet Dating post (see below), I have no respect for young men who go to their mothers and announce 'Mama, I'm ready for marriage. Find me a wife'. It just doesn't work anymore. Look around you. The divorce statistics are frightening in Dhofar. I can't remember exactly where I read this, but last year in Dhofar, 64% of new marriages ended in divorce during the first year. 64%. I will say no more.

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I don't have much time for blogging today. I'll have to write about this topic in depth some other time. Keep one thing in mind; divorce is frustrating, sad, and painful. It should be the last option; never the first.

Eid - Part 2

Hey everyone. It was stupid of me to think I would find the time during Eid to blog, but hey,.. I'm doing my best! For those who have no idea what Eid is, it's the three-day holiday (in Muslim countries) to celebrate the end of Ramadan and a month of fasting. Eid is all about feasting, spending time with relatives and neighbors, sometimes exchanging gifts, and just having fun. Eid in Salalah basically involved visiting every single relative you have (that means hundreds of people). It also involves opening your house/majlis to every single relative and neighbor you have and being 'available' and dressed-up 24/7. It's funny that Dhofaris offer the exact same things in their majlis; three jugs of Tang artificial crap drink, Danish cookies, coffee, tea, nuts, toffees, Omani Halwa (a traditional sweet), and a bowl of fruit. This goes on for three or four days non-stop. Some families have become more creative and are actually baking their own cakes and cookies. I've visited about 12 homes in the past 48 hours and I'm only half-way through my list. Do you have ANY idea how exhausting that is? From house to house: 'Eid Mubarak, how are you? How is your mother? How is your father? How is your sister? How is your brother? What is new? What is goin' on? How're y'all doin?'. Listening to people's news for 12 hours a day is interesting but at the end of the day (i.e 1 a.m ) you collapse into bed and have the strangest dreams involving your neighbors being eaten up by bears and your great-aunt feeding you your 100th cookie. Sigh. What do you do during Eid? What are your family traditions? For those of you who do not live in a Muslim country, how do you celebrate Eid?

Eid - Part 1

Eid Mubarak Everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quick Note

Busy busy busy ... I'm brainstorming my Eid post. Still shocked about the schools being postponed until November. I can't believe elementry school isn't starting until the end of November. Middle school early November. High school October. Wow. Muscat Festival cancelled. H1N1 still going strong. 18 official deaths.

I read an interesting article about a Dutch farmer (in Holland) who started up a camel farm and is busy selling camel milk all over Holland! I'm surprised the camels are surviving. Yes, there is no snow in Holland but its' rainy and chilly most of the year. I'm going to try and scan it so I can post it up here.

Tell me what your Eid preparations are?

Salalah Driving - Part (2)

My reader has said it all. This comment on my previous Ramadan Driving post was too good not to share.
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" Hey, as an expat here in Salalah I have to say that this place has the worst drivers of any I've ever seen, including Greece, Turkey, Egypt, Italy, West Africa and China. Well done! .

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WHY can't people here judge distances and speeds of oncoming cars when they pull out?

WHY can't people use their indicators. Do they think that other drivers are psychic and can guess their intentions.

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WHY the hell would you over take on the left a vehicle which is turning to the left?

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WHAT IN THE WORLD makes the people here so addicted to using their mobile ohones while driving? Sure, people all over the world do this, but Dhofaris seem to wait until they get into a car to start phoning people. As a cautionary measure, they'll slow down. on a highway. In a 120km zone. That's safe.

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AND WHAT THE HELL IS IT WITH KIDS. People, your children are precious. They are not protected from car accidents by some magic voodoo. And they distract you. Put them in the back with seatbelts on, not on your lap while driving. And not, as I saw the other day, in the back of your sideless pick-up truck going round the clock roundabout at 60 k an hour. The two children in question here were both younger than 6, I'd say. Maybe their parents didn't want them any more?

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AS FOR THE COMMENTS ABOVE from an outsider's perspective, almost all the problems in this region stem from your menfolk. Women rock! This particularly applies to driving. Every single case of unbelievable stupidity behind the wheel has been a man in my experience. the few women drivers I encounter are cautious, sure, but not unsafe or idiotic or selfish or distracted.

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And I'm sure they didn't aquire their licenses out of a cornflakes packet, which is where I think the majority of Dhofari mens licences come from. Especially those belonging to 12 year old boys and ancient bearded mountain men in pick-up trucks who seem to exist in a parrallel trafic universe.....My rant for the day!! Thanks for the opportunity!"

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Dear Reader, thanks for your rant. You made my day. I was getting around to writing about driving in Salalah, but you've done it for me. However, you forgot to mention the people who flash their lights at you and speed like maniacs, yet you both end up at the roundabout or traffic lights at the SAME TIME. You also forgot to mention the people who pass you on a one-lane road that is no longer than 100 metres, just to get to the intersection before you do. Also, my last rant is about men who proceed to put on their turbans WHILE DRIVING during morning rush hour. They're controlling the steering wheel with their knees on a highway and first they get out their lime-green plastic combs and comb their hair, then they put on their turbans. Sometimes I wish I had ready-made signs in my car that I can wave at other drivers when needed. Examples:.

Sign (1) : would be"LOSER".

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Sign (2) would be "Flash all you like. I'm not moving".

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Sign (3) would be 'Life is precious you jerk".

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Sign (4): would be 'Just because you have a 35,000 Rial Lexus doesn't mean I'm going to let you pass'.

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Sign (5): would be "I.N.D.I.C.A.T.E'

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More suggestions?

Ramadan Driving

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Do I really need to comment? Nah!

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Eid Hell

Shopping ... in ... Salalah ... Before ... Eid ... is .... HELL.

Coffee

I'm craving a cup of coffee. C.R.A.V.I.N.G. Thus, I cannot write. How can I be creative without my dose of caffiene? Ahh.. Ramadan. I'm brainstorming ideas for my next post. How about 'Why We Need More Cafes in Salalah!'.... or 'Coffee in Oman' ... or ....... something to do with coffee. Maybe later on a little polygamy or 'the dowry problem' in Dhofar. I'll think about it.

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This photo was taken up past Zaik (ADG: Go Team Zaik) in the mountains. The fog has cleared and we can now see! I'm visiting Darbat valley tomorrow if I can get someone to take me (see photo on right). Have a great weekend. Peace.

Dating in Oman - Part 2

For anyone interested in reading more about the subject from an Omani's point of view, I recommend reading the latest post in 'Keeping it Real in Oman'.

http://realityinoman.wordpress.com/2009/09/08/dating-in-oman-is-it-such-a-bad-thing/

Attention Bloggers: Blogs by Omanis & Expats in Oman

To all interested bloggers, Oman Forums are trying to set up a forum for blogs by Omanis & Expats in Oman. If you're interested in adding your blog to the list, send an email with your blog to abufaisal@omanforum.com. I'm supporting this idea because I'm interested in finding other blogs in Oman. I recommend My Reservoir of Thoughs, Um3azzan's Thoughts, Keeping it Real in Oman, Sting's Vantage Point, Faith's blog, Muscat Confidential, Muscat Mutterings, A Muggle's Tale, Blue Chi, Sew Chic & Unique, etc. These are the blogs I follow regularly in English. The Arabic dudes are another list! Or, if you want your blog added to the forum but don't feel like emailing, just let me know you agree and I'll inform OmanForum.

Internet Dating - Oman

Drumroll, the post is finally here! This post is dedicated to Zain because she was the first to choose my next topic. I'm writing about internet dating/secret relationships in Dhofar, because I can only write about things I'm 100% sure of. I cannot speak for the rest of Oman because who knows? Don't attack me here; I'm just writing about what I've experienced and seen and what I know. Where do I start? How about the relationships between men and women in Dhofar? That sounds right.

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Society in Salalah is extremely conservative, and by conservative I mean that until very recently (10 years?) men almost never saw any women who weren't very close relatives. When girls turned 10 or 11, they were told 'Enough playing with boys. You're grown up now'. Girls never go anywhere without an escort. Women stay at home, and whenever any woman (over the age of about 18) goes out, she has the burqa *face veil* on. Girls and boys go to seperate schools, and even when they go to college it's hard to interact with members of the opposite sex! Has anyone been to Sultan Qaboos University in Muscat? Until very recently there were seperate halls for boys and girls! Any young woman caught talking to a guy outside class was sent a warning note. I saw it with my own two eyes. I went to SQU with a team (consisting of men and women) and an administrator approached me (thinking I was a student) and told me to not walk around with guys and didn't I know the rules? I was completely shocked. I was there on business! She didn't even check if I was a student! I assume things are a little different now, but that was a shocker for me. That was four years ago.

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So, let's thinking logically here. When you're told 'No, you can't do this', what's the first thing you do? Of course, you start telling yourself ' I must do this!'. الممنوع مرغوب Relationships between unmarried/unrelated men and women are so taboo that most young Omanis want to try it. I'm not talking about getting into bed with them; what I mean is that females and males are curious to know what it's like to befriend members of the opposite sex. Especially the age group (15-25) .. and yes those are my own statistics. But how is that possible when they're never left alone? How are they supposed to meet guys? The answer is: They Don't. From an Islamic point of view, young people aren't even allowed to think about members of the opposite sex until they get married. Well, welcome to the real world where girls as young as 13 and 14 are watching Desperate Housewives, Friends, and romantic Western movies. You think they're all watching this crap and not thinking about guys? You think young people are virtuous individuals who refuse contact with members of the opposite sex? Of course not. How about the young YOUNG guys who get their hands on porn at the tender age of 12 or 13? Yes, in Salalah. Our modern world does not encourage virtue, sadly. Yet, Salalah does not encourage such relationships. Many parents in Salalah monitor their daughters' phones, to ensure they're not carrying on a relationship with a guy/several guys. So how do they do it? *drumroll* ... The I.N.T.E.R.N.E.T.

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With all due respect to Dhofaris, we've got to face the fact that most parents (the ones over the age of 40-50) are uneducated. There were no schools when they were young, so they're almost forgiven. Parents are not educated enough to know that having a television and computer in a teenager's bedroom is dangerous. Meanwhile, the generation of current teenagers/young people are so technologically advanced that they have one two even three cell phones, a television set with every channel in the book, a laptop, a secret internet modem, etc, etc. They're all wired up and ready to take on the world. The difference between my generation and my parents' generation is beyond scary.

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My friends who went to colleges in Oman said that during their years at university, the main event was 'chatrooms'. For example, guys and girls from the Salalah College of Technology would log on to certain chatrooms (ever tried Ali Baba?) and spend 4, 5, 6 hours a day chatting with one another. Of course, their parents don't know (they just thought their kids were doing homework on the PC), and hey, it was fun because they were talking to guys in a virtual world. But these were real guys who went to class with them! Of course, they never used their real names. The game was to figure out who went by which nickname in chatrooms. They wasted so much time, but it was exciting for them. Their only real contact with guys. Of course, through these chatrooms, there was attraction. Guys and girls would branch off into private chatrooms and spend hours getting to know one another without even exchanging names. Finally, the guy would say 'I love you', and the dumb naive girl would totally fall for it and think she'd found the love of her life (don't laugh, it's real). They would email and chat for a while, then he'd ask for her number. She'd refuse several times then she'd agree and give it to him (thinking he was the love of her life). He'd play around for a while and they'd talk on the phone to the early hours of the morning. Finally, he'd dump her OR he'd go telling his pals that he was 'talking' to the daughter of so and so. That's Salalah's worst nightmare; ruining a girl's reputation. Any girl who has 'talked' to a guy is socially considered a slut. Excuse my French but welcome to Salalah. Hey, did someone forget to mention that over 80% of girls in this town have had at least one 'secret' relationship? In fact, arranged marriage is becoming extinct. Girls and guys have decided to find their own life partner. Someone they like, and someone they want to share their life with. It's their right, yeah? Not in Salalah it ain't. It's so taboo that young people are forced to make it 'secret'. It's a daily struggle in our town, and something we cannot deny.

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I know of an American researcher who studied the concept of phone/internet dating in Oman. Most of his research was done in Muscat, but a friend of mine helped him study Salalah. I think he held about 80 anonymous questionnaire interviews in Dhofar, and the results were a little astonishing. Only 2 out of the 80 stated that they had never spoken to a guy/girl before on the phone, etc. He targeted young people in the age group (18-25). No kidding.

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Enlightening Anecdotes:

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Note: I've changed a couple of details to conceal the identity of the victims (!):

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(1) Girl falls in love with guy through Al Sabla forum. They watched each other's comments for a while then he asked for her email address, and she agreed of course. Soon, they exchanged phone numbers and thought they were in love. He wanted to marry here, but they both knew their families would never agree because she was in Salalah and he was from another part of Oman (yes, that's taboo too). He convinced her to run away from home and come with him. She ... AGREED. Did I forget to mention that she was only 19 years old? She started planning her escape. It was all perfect. Thank goodness, dude dumped her a week before the planned escape. This story is true.

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(2) My fifteen year-old cousin, I discovered, has a very active internet life. Want to know how I discovered this? She asked me about a colleague of mine at work (29-year-old man). I was like 'Why the hell are you asking about him?'. Her answer was 'Oh, he hasn't appeared on chat for a few days and I was beginning to worry about him'. She said is so normally. As if there was nothing wrong with what she was saying. Hello! This girl is FIFTEEN! And my colleague is a 29-year-old married man with two kids. It's not his fault, he probably doesn't know how old she is and I'm not going to discuss the fact that he may be cheating on his wife. It's not my cousin's fault. She's a dumb teenager. I personally think that it's her parents' fault. Why does she have a laptop in her bedroom? Do they not understand how dangerous that is for teenagers? I spoke to her older sister and told her to deal with it. I wasn't ready to get involved, nor was I ready to ignore it. I don't want to see that kid get hurt.

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(3) My friend discovered that her 17-year-old sister was carrying on a relationship with a guy she saw once at the Salalah Tourism Festival. He was working at one of the booths and gave her his email address. They emailed and chatted for a couple of months, then exchanged phone numbers. Furthermore, my friend discovered that her sister was sending him photographs of herself via MMS. Do I need to mention that these photographs were without her hijab on? Hello? Again, where are the parents?? I gave my friend a long talk about not allowing teenagers to spend too much time alone and to watch their behaviour. My friend was so upset and didn't know what to do; whether to tell her parents or talk to her sister or confront the guy.

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(4) A girl I knew very well in high school dropped out of college for a whole semester in her third year. Are you ready for the reason? Her parents discovered that she was in love with a guy at college and they were talking on the phone. So, they pulled her out of college and locked her up at home for a semester hoping that'll teach her a lesson. Furthermore, they took her cell phone away. Is that the way to deal with it, mom and dad? Sounds like a recipe for trouble.

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(5) I'm not even going to start discussing the Dhofari Facebook Phenomenum. That's going to need a seperate post.

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(6) I'm telling you honestly that about 75% of the girls I know have had a 'secret' boyfriend at some point over the past couple of years. This would sound perfectly normal if we were in ... Chicago. But, hey, we're in S.a.l.a.l.a.h. We're trying to hold on to the traditions and values we grew up with. I hate it when teenagers throw these values away.

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And hey, don't accuse me of being 'against' guys and girls talking. I'm totally with it, if both parties are mature enough to handle it. I studied with guys abroad and got used to them as 'human beings'. I don't feel the need to carry on a secret relationship. I work with men, and I enjoy it. Furthermore, I'm against arranged marriages and believe that young people in Salalah should have the chance to get to know people in order to find their life partner. I would never trust anyone else with that decision. I can never understand young men who go to their mother and say 'Mamma, I'm ready for marriage. Find me a wife'. It happens here a lot, but I think it's crazy (and yes, that is my own personal point of view).

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Of course, not all of this is negative. Many of my friends fell in love with colleagues at work or from college and talked to them for months/years using a secret phone number that their parents didn't know about (girls are smart). I'll give the example of one of my close friends who did the exact same thing with the colleague at work and secret phone number, etc. When the guy was ready financially for marriage and had discussed it with his parents, he proposed to the girl's father claiming he heard about his daughter and her family and maybe had seen her once or twice. Of course, his speech was perfect because the girl had given him pointers on what her dad likes to hear. Father agrees, wedding date is set, they got married, and are living happily with two young kids. They're perfect for one another, and I love seeing them together. Is what they did bad? Of course not. Not in my point of view anyway.

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So, I'm not here to complain. I need some sort of conclusion. I think parents need to wake up and realize that no matter what they do, their teenagers and older kids are going to want to talk to members of the opposite sex, secretly or openly. Nothing they do can stop them unless they tie them to the bed with chains. This is reality. It hurts, but let's face it. Why not educate teenagers about dealing with members of the opposite sex? How are young girls supposed to know when a guy is playing around with them and when he's serious? Parents still haven't figured out that they need to talk to their kids about dealing with the opposite sex, about relationships, dating, love, marriage, where Islam stands, etc. Otherwise, the kids are going to go out and do it anyway without being educated. Let's avoid all the hurt, pain, and problems and try some preventive treatments. Instead of ignoring the situation, we have to deal with it.

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Finally, I beg of you, help me spread the word and get those computers out of teenagers' bedrooms. Also, why not toss the TV out too? Keep an eye on what your kids/siblings are watching. There is no need for a 16-year-old Omani Muslim girl to worry about who's sleeping with who on Desperate Housewives. It's breaking up society and causing serious problems in families. If you haven't educated your kids about all these things, then don't blame them later when they screw up. Parents are responsible. Furthermore, I think anyone over the age of 21 is old enough to decide what they want to do in life, so let them be, but keep an eye on the teenagers. The more you educate them, the less they'll suffer in the future. I keep on telling my friends 'Talk to your younger siblings. If your parents are too shy to do it, then it's your responsibility!". And yes, some of them have done it, and were astonished to discover that their siblings (girls especially) were relieved to have somone to talk to about these things. Build trust. Teach them about the beauty of Islam and why these things are forbidden. Explain the logic.

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I'm interested to know what your comments are. Remember, this post is about what I've seen, what I feel, and the stories are real. Don't attack me. I'm an honest writer, and my goal is to discuss real issues. Tell me what you think, and if you've figured out any unique methods of dealing with this situation, let me know. Readers' feedback is what keeps me going. Post your comments below, and if you feel more comfortable, email me: dhofari.gucci@gmail.com Any interesting suggestions may lead to more posts. Many of my post ideas come from readers.

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Thanks for surviving the world's longest post. Peace.

Fear Not for I Am Here!

Yes, I know I promised you a post on Internet Dating on Wednesday, but given the fact that the my eyes decided to rebel and refuse any contact with computer screens for at least 48 hours, I had to avoid writing over the weekend. However, I am back and Insha'allah you'll get your post today. Peace.

H1N1 - Part Three

Ok, everyone, I've decided to write about Internet Dating & H1N1 today. During the next week or so I'll write about the rest of the topics in the list. Thanks for participating in my dilemma. Your comments inspired me. It's all coming, don't worry. And Jeff, I'm gathering information about the rebellion. I need to know more before I write. Too many people I know fought in the rebellion. Anyway, my first post for today is about H1N1. Here it goes.. If capital letters offend you, don't read this.

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Unless the situation gets worse, this is going to be my last post on H1N1 this month. You might be asking yourself 'Why all these posts about the flu?'.. Well, my answer is: Because people are DYING. In Salalah. On a regular basis. And guess what? I know a couple of the families who lost loved ones to swine flu during August. The official death toll is 10 so far. That doesn't include the 'unofficial' numbers, whatever they happen to be.

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A seminar/press conference/whatever was held in Salalah a couple of days ago by the Director General of Health in Dhofar, the Undersecretary to the Ministry of Health and God knows who else. I wasn't there, but a friend of mine went and sent me details. Evidently the audience were outraged, the speakers were being dull, and there was tension. The purpose of the seminar was to discuss the latest H1N1 developments in Salalah and to explain to the public the reasons for the deaths, etc. They started off by explaning the symptoms and how to wash your hands with soap and water (zzzzz....) then explained about how to deal with H1N1 on the Hajj this year in Mecca. Yup, three million people crowded into one space. Perfect.

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The funny thing is that the speakers explained that the people who died had left it too late and should have come to the hospital earlier. Hello? We were told NOT to go to the hospital because it was dangerous. Doctors told us to flippin 'stay home'! Anyway, they explained that there is no H1N1 vaccine yet, but that it would be available by the end of the year after being tested.

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The Ministry of Health stated that it was doing its best to control the spread of the flu. Sorry, dudes, but I don't agree. I went to the hospital a couple of times over the past month. The nurses are NOT wearing masks and gloves. Only some of them are. They are touching patients and objects with their hands then they go and touch another patient without washing. People come in with swine-flu like symptoms, the doctors in emergency do the nose and throat swab, take their temperature and blood pressure (that's the standard H1N1 test), then they FREAKING send them HOME and say wait for the results. The results come after six days. During those six days that person could have spread swine flu to a hundred people! The doctors don't even advise them to stay home. And don't tell me they do, because several people I know went, had swine flu, but spent a week spreading it before they got the call from Sultan Qaboos Hospital saying 'Oh, you're H1N1 positive. Better come back'. A WEEK.

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The DG of Health in Dhofar said there are 900 cases on Oman (tell me another one!), and 300 cases in Dhofar (w.h.a.t.e.v.e.r). He stated that half the cases in Dhofar were treated at the hospital and the other half were told to stay home. He said there are 32 patients in induced-comas at the hospital and six in intensive care.

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My friend told me that many people in the audience were school principals. Obviously it makes sense that they should come because schools open up after Eid, and the principals have to deal with the headache of swine flu spreading in schools. I'll keep my fingers crossed for them.

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A journalist from the audience asked the undersecretary why they weren't specifying in the newspaper the towns where people died. The answer was 'because it's no use'. What the HELL do they mean by 'no use'??! Isn't it the people's right to know the places that are most affected? I mean, here in Salalah, we know we're the danger zone of Oman because news of deaths spreads immediately, but shouldn't the rest of the country know? Maybe ... you know ... they'd like to 'AVOID' coming here?! Was the government afraid of stating that Dhofar was worse because they didn't want to lose tourists? Don't tourists have the right to stay alive?

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Ok, here's the funny part. The speakers stated that the lung infection that has been spreading in Dhofar is completely normal and it due to the cold weather (what cold?!). The next day sources from the Diwan (Royal Court) say that lung infections are an advanced stage of H1N1. Go ahead, google it, lung infections ARE an advanced stage of H1N1. People ... are ... dying.

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Oman's hush-hush policy cannot help at this time. People need to know the truth. People need to feel the urgency. People need to know more. People need to protect themselves and their families.

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On a final note, I was told that our dear Mufti, Sheikh Al Khalily (our top religious man in the country) advised citizens to avoid congregating in the mosques during Ramadan to avoid spreading H1N1. Is that true? If it is then kudos to Al Khalily for thinking logically!

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Ok, enough outrage. I'm off to brainstorm my internet dating post. Cheers.

PS: I received this comment immediately from a reader:

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" Salaam Nadia, Thank you so very much for keeping the people informed to the best of your knowledge, someone needs to! I can personally attest to what you are saying. Seven days ago my son woke up one morning with a fever of 40C, I was terrified, he is only 2, and he has never had such a high fever. My initial fear was H1N1 so I had my husband bring him to the Dr. that morning to give us some answers.

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We were told he had the stomach flu and given three medications including an antibiotic. I was so angry when my husband brought him back with the diagnosis of "stomach" flu. We all eat the same thing, no one is suffering. I wasn't convinced. My son's condition was not improving after 24 hours of medicine so I had my husband bring him back. This time we were told to give him a lukewarm bath to bring his fever down etc. My son was back home, high fever and not himself. I kept reading about H1N1 and told my husband finally to demand he be tested for it. We were then referred to the Sultan Qaboos hospital after almost 5 excruciating days, where one day he seemed to be improving, and then the next hour his fever shot up and he retreated to bed. I went to Sultan Qaboos hosp. myself with all three kids and I demanded they do the swab but was turned down because it was "expired". Livid wouldn't even describe my outrage. The hospital was literally PACKED with sick children. The womens side had at least 40-50 women each with a child in their arms.

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We were of handedly prescribed Tamiflu and told to give it to all our children. By Allah's mercy and Dua'a my son is doing better, although he still has a ferocious cough. I am still not satisfied. I am angry that not enough was done in the beginning and that we have been poorly informed. My son could have died. We are all avoiding the masjid and public places. Everyone should do the same. H1N1 affects each person differently, and you would not want to fall victim of the system and not get properly treated. My sons are still not at 100% as I mentioned they still have a cough. They will stay home the rest of Ramadan just in case they really do have H1N1.Also please tell your readers that it is SO true about the Doctors. This was my first experience at the hospital and I was sooo shocked. As the Dr. was giving us a consultation, another Dr. walks in and informs "our" Dr. that Dr. "so-and-so" just died, not sure the reason, but potentially H1N1. WTH??I nearly fainted. My only solace is in Allah the Merciful.Everyone must take precautions, be your own advocate. We must not pretend that everything is okay. Salalah is a place where family stays together all the time, eat, sleep etc the flu can easily spread.My humble advice: STAY HOME AS MUCH AS POSSIBLEplease make dua'a for the countless children who are suffering.your sister - YF"

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Thank you YF for your comment. People need to hear real experiences. I pray that your children get better and do not have H1N1, and I pray that no more people die. Ameen.

Topic Dilemma

Still over-worked. In fact, I'm so over-worked that I can't even decide what my next post is going to be about. Help me here!

• - H1N1 conference held in Salalah two days ago?
• - Young Dhofaris & Arranged Marriages
• - Funeral Wailing
• - Polygamy
• The 'Secret' Relationships & Internet Dating in Oman

Suggestions anyone?

Note - Omani Media

Hey everyone, I don't have much time to write today. Totally over-worked. However, to keep you entertained, check out Bader Al Hinai's campaign towards 'Better Media in Oman'. Seems the Omani Ramadan television series have caused an uproar! Stay tuned ..

http://baderhinai.blogspot.com/

I'm hungry!

Peace.

Freakin Fabulous Award

Not quite sure how these things work, but I've been awarded the Freaking Fabulous blog award by my friend Shahrazad (http://thoughtreservoir.wordpress.com/). Well, Shahrazad, I'm Freakin Honored!

Rules of the Award:

• List Five Current Obsessions
• Pass the award on to five more fabulous blogs
• ON your post receiving this award, make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them.
• When you post your winners, link it back to them as well.
• Don't forget to let your winners know they won an award by leaving a comment on their blog.

Allrighty, so ... five current obsessions, hmmm....

• Obsession One: Reading. I've been reading too much lately. Until 2 or 3 in the morning.
• Obsession Two: Travelling. I'm getting itchy feet. I actually have a notebook where I'm keeping notes on the places I plan to go to. Need ... to ... travel.
• Obsession Three: Nutella. I haven't had Nutella for months. In fact, I don't think I even like Nutella in real life, but because it's Ramadan and I'm fasting, I keep daydreaming about it.
• Obsession Four: Yet again, because I'm fasting right now, I'm imagining a tall glass of home-made lemon iced tea with seven (yes seven) ice cubes. Yes it's an obsession and yes it's killing me.
• Obsession Five: Discovering cool blogs. It has become an obsession. I'm so impressed with all the freakin' fabulous blogs out there, especially the ones about Oman.

Ok, so my winners are: *drumroll*:

(1) Shahrazad , not because she tagged me, and not because she's my friend, but because she's the best 'writer' among all the Omani English bloggers I follow. (and yes, I follow many blogs)

(2) Muawia Al Rawahi: http://www.almuhathwin.com/ .. The one I follow is in Arabic but he also has an English one; not as good as the Arabic one though. I know it seems weird, but that guy has a unique sense of humor. I actually found myself laughing out loud at his August 25th post. However, don't attack me here; I don't agree with some of what he says, but I'm not denying the fact that he's an excellent writer.

(3) Organica: http://organicmuslimah.blogspot.com/ ... again, an excellent writer with a great sense of humour. I follow her blog on an almost-daily basis because we share many of the same interests.

(4) Muscat Confidential: the one and only Muscat Confidential! http://muscatconfidential.blogspot.com/ .. We seem to think along the same lines.

I'm going to stick with 4 for the moment. Listen, I follow around 25 blogs on a regular basis. They're all great (because I don't read crappy blogs), so it's pretty hard to pick. I'm more attracted to blogs that are updated every day/couple of days. Impatient soul.

Peace.

Oman TV - Part 3

Ok, I give in. Although I am not a fan of Oman TV, I have a soft spot for animation, and guys believe me, Omanis in animation are funny. Meet Eid & Saeed, Oman TV's Beavis & Butthead. They don't talk. They just grunt and go 'Huh?' every three seconds. Your average caveman. Yet again Omanis being portrayed as dumb villagers. But, hey, yesterday's episode of them trying to crack open a watermelon was kinda amusing. Although I was ashamed to see that many of the graphic designers and artists behind this creation are not Omani. Why weren't young talented Omanis hired for this?

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Note: (Anyone can watch this. It's not in Arabic)

Oman TV - Part 2

I discovered that many bloggers have written nasty reviews about Oman TV and the Ministry of Information this week since the beginning of the beyond-horrid Ramadhan television series, namely Moawia Al Rawahi, Bader Al Hinai, etc. I smell revolution in the air. I received several comments and emails from readers regarding my Oman TV post (below). Fellow blogger (of Muscat Mutterings Blog) Sythe's comment was by far the best:

" Something I was going to blog, but decided against it, just because absolutely no one will be interested, was that Oman Mobile have recently announced that you can now watch Oman TV on your mobile phones. About the most practical extension for this that I can think of is either for people having trouble sleeping at night, they can whip out their phones and drift off to the sleepy programming on OmanTV, or it can be used as a mobile interrogation / torture device, where unsuspecting criminals are subjected to random forced viewings of Oman TV"

Forgive me if you don't find this funny. I went into at least three fits of hysterical laughter (one in the bathroom, if you really must know) imagining Oman TV being used in interrogation rooms. My imagination can run wild sometimes. Thank you Sythe for making my day.

Monsoon vs. May

I just realized I have two shots of the same place. The photo above is what Mughsayl (45-minute drive west from Salalah) looks like now and during the monsoon every year. The shot below is what it looked like at the end of May! Amazing contrast.

Our Greatest Shame: Oman TV

Dear readers, I do not watch television. Every once in a while I’ll see something on television that reminds me of the reasons behind my decision to boycott the stuff. Last night was one of those occasions. For various reasons, I ended up watching 20 minutes of Oman TV’s Ramadan drama series ‘Darayesh 3’. In the beginning I felt the need to be polite and make excuses for the Ministry of Information. After five minutes, I began to feel ill. Fifteen minutes later my face is green and I’ve got nausea. What a load of crap. Effin garbage. For the past what … 10 … 15 years, Oman TV has been making the same damn shows for Ramadhan. These shows usually involve a bad-tempered old man, his wife, and kids, and perhaps a couple of goats. Most stories take place in villages. Same actors every year also. Omanis are portrayed as dumb villagers who eat too many dates and who have stupid problems. Hello? When is someone at Oman TV going to finally wake up and see Oman as it is now? Oman is an amazing country. We are not stupid villagers. We are not dumb. Yet, Oman TV chooses to tell the world we are. We have become the laughing stock of television.

Take a look around. We are a country rich with different cultures (compare Ibri to Salalah? Thumrait to Muscat?), most Omanis speak some English, and a large percentage are fluent, well-travelled educated people. We are a developing country with doctors, scientists, engineers, researchers, lawyers, etc. Omanis have jobs, cars, laptops, blackberries, and are keeping up with the rest of the modern world. We are a country of thinkers, writers, bloggers (yes!), photographers, artists, and talented individuals. Just look around you! We are not mentally-retarded villagers, nor do we live in a village! Look at Oman! Highways, businesses, opera houses (soon), skating rinks, stadiums, cinemas, shopping malls (not that I approve), five-star hotels, yacht clubs, universities, restaurants, cafes, art galleries, museums, research centers, and so much more. Look how much we’ve progressed over the past 30 years! We didn’t even have a paved road back then. We didn’t have electricity or schools or hospitals. Look how much we’ve grown! It’s AMAZING how fast our country was built. Are we not proud of that? Hell we are! So what’s wrong with the Ministry of Information? What’s wrong with Oman TV? Ok, so everything is censored and we do not have freedom of speech in the media in Oman, but can we not at least have decent television? It doesn’t have to be outrageous, it doesn’t have to offend the government, and it certainly doesn’t have to offend the people of this beautiful country. Aren't there creative young people out there who studied media? Why aren't they working at Oman TV? We want fresh talent.

Tell me honestly, how many of you watch Oman TV? If you don’t, then why not?

Ok, on another note, last night another H1N1 victim passed away in intensive care at Sultan Qaboos Hospital in Salalah. A young woman. She was buried shortly after midnight. May Allah grant her family the strength to get through this tragedy. Will her death be reported in the newspaper today? I doubt it. Oman’s hush-hush policyسياسة الهدوء

Send a prayer out to her family. May she rest in peace. Amen.

Dhofari Ramadan Menu - Do you really need 300 bottles of Vimto?

Ok, here it is; Dhofaris exposed at last.

What is it about Ramadan anyway that makes people obsessed with food? Why is it that you spend more on groceries during Ramadan yet you're fasting and you only eat one meal a day? Why is it that every house in Salalah eats the same damn thing every single night of the holy month? They eat the same thing every day for a month, but never during the rest of the year. When am I ever going to figure it out?

.

Yesterday I walked into the Lulu Centre (our major supermarket) to buy two miserable items; tomatoes and milk. Ok? I should have been out of there in about three minutes, right? Wrong. I swear to you I was in there for 50 minutes, in a lineup of 18 people (note: there are five counters). Every shopper had one or two shopping carts filled with the exact same products. I almost gave up but I really really needed those tomatoes for my Iftar cooking. To kill time, I got out my camera and starting taking photos of the Ramadan displays (see photo)

Yup, what you are looking at my dear friends is the Leaning Tower of Crème Caramel. Believe me, Dhofaris only eat creme caramel in Ramadan. Same with oatmeal, dumplings, vimto, samboosas, jelly, etc. So, what exactly is the Ramadan menu? Let me explain; every afternoon during Ramadan every kitchen in Salalah is busy producing the same dishes. Call to prayer comes at sunset, and everyone gathers around the mat/table to eat the same dishes. I'm telling you, it's true! I've asked all my friends and they all eat the same thing. They have an eating marathon from the moment the call to prayer comes and for about ten minutes until it's time to pray. During those ten minutes, every person will stuff as much food into their face as possible, and in no particular order. It's a free for all. You want to eat jello with your samboosa? Go ahead! How about watermelon and beef soup? Be my guest.

Dhofari Iftar Menu: The Everyday Basics:

Samboosas سمبوس (usually filled with spicy vegetables and ground beef)

Luqaymat لقيمات: (sweet dumplings dipped in sugar syrup)

Soup شوربة: ( Ramadan soup made with beef, vegatables and oats. Quite delicious with lemon)

Vimto فيمتو: (red poison)

Coffee & Dates

Thareed ثريد : (a traditional Omani dry bread soaked in a beef sauce. Tasty)

Sandwiches: (usually most families will have an assortment of small sandwiches)

Creme Caramel!

Custard مهلبية

Jello!

Usually a dish of spicy macaroni

Watermelon (to ensure you have the worst case of Digestive Volcanos in the history of mankind)

Kindly note that all of this is eaten at the same time. Some families are brave enough to introduce new dishes to this menu. Lots of families have a variety of cold desserts (usually a mix of creme caramel, custard, jello, swiss rolls and dream whip. Lots and lots of dream whip). Also note, dear friends, that most families will have a heavy meal of rice and meat/chicken later on in the night (anytime between 10 p.m and 1 a.m). I can only imagine what their sleep/dreams must be like after such a heavy meal. Oh, well. This is our culture. We developed these odd eating habits (our ancestors certainly didn't eat like that) somewhere over the past 20 years I suppose. What do you eat in Ramadan? Give me proof that there are people out there that eat normally!

Peace.

Why We Love Ramadhan - Dedicated to Muslims in Western Countries

Hey Everyone! Ramadan Kareem! Before I start talking about my Ramadan thoughts, I should give a mini-introduction for my readers around the world (and yes, there are many) who may not know what Ramadan is. First of all, most of you know that Muslims follow a lunar calendar. Ramadan is the ninth month of the Islamic calendar. It is a month of fasting, in which Muslims refrain from eating, drinking, sexual conduct, smoking, and indulging in anything that is ill-natured from dawn until sunset everyday for a month. Muslims all over the world love the month of Ramadan and look forward to it with mounting excitement. In the weeks preceding Ramadan lives are scrutinised, and plans are made for a month of serious worship and supplication. The countdown begins and conversations start with how many weeks it is until the blessed month arrives. Perhaps non-Muslims wonder why we look forward to fasting days and sleepless nights. Ramadan offers the chance of redemption and great rewards. It is a month like no other. A month of spiritual reflection and prayer. Hearts are directed away from worldly activities and towards God.

Fasting is meant to teach us patience, modesty and spirituality. Ramaḍān is a time to fast for the sake of Allah, and to offer more prayer than usual. During Ramaḍān, Muslims ask forgiveness for past sins, pray for guidance and help in refraining from everyday evils, and try to purify themselves through self-restraint and good deeds.

I follow several blogs written by young Muslims living in Western counries, namely Muslim Kid, Organica, Living in Layla Land, Jasmine's Yard, etc. Living in countries like the USA and the UK is not always easy for Muslims, so just IMAGINE for a moment what it's like to fast a full month in a country where everyone around you is eating, partying, and focused only on fun, materialism, money, drinking, etc. How do they manage? What difficulties do they face?

I feel so blessed to be living in a Muslim society where everyone fasts and the whole Arab/Muslim world goes into Ramadan mode (shorter work hours, no open restaurants, tarawih prayers for everyone, Qur'an in hand, making the extra effort to pray together 'Salat Jama'aa', etc). It really is wonderful. Yesterday everyone was glued to their television set in the evening waiting to hear if the moon had been seen! Then, it was announced 'Hilal Ramadan had been spotted. Tomorrow we start fasting!'. Immediately family and friends started texting one another to make sure everyone heard. Mothers headed into the kitchen to prepare the dawn meal. Men and women alike headed immediately to the mosque to pray the first set of Tarawih prayers. Many people put away their music, cigarettes, sheesha pipes, and anything else they'd decided to give up in Ramadan. Children who would be fasting for the first time hopped up and down in excitement. Festive!

This morning alarm clocks all around the world went off at 4 a.m; mothers got out of bed and woke their children and husbands up. Everyone ate in silence, still half asleep. Slowly, one by one, they made their way to the washroom to wash for prayers. The father lined up Sijjadas (prayer mats) on the floor in two rows. Males in the front row, females in the back. The family lines up to pray together and start the fast. After praying, usually the older ones stay up and read Qur'an. The younger ones head back to bed. Peaceful Dawn. The mother may stand at the window and watch the sun come up.

Morning comes, everyone heads to work/school. Everyone greets one another with 'Ramadan Kareem!'. Work ends early. Families head home. Some rest. Some read Qur'an or pray. It's quiet-time. A couple of hours before sunset, the mother and girls head into the kitchen to start preparing Iftar, the breaking of the fast meal. Everyone has a pile of new recipes ready. Men hang around the kitchen door hoping to see what's being cooked. Finally, the call to prayer is heard 'Allahu Akbar!' and everyone grabs a glass of milk or juice and three dates (or five or seven, etc - uneven numbers is the Sunnah). They sigh. Bliss. Oh, how we take food for granted when so many people around the world starve every day of the year. Family gets up to pray together then they dive into the yummy dishes. After Iftar, the older family members get ready to head to the mosque to pray Tarawih with the rest of the community. Everywhere you go, people are heading to the mosque. It's such a beautiful and inspirational time.

Everyone is thinking about opening a new page; spiritual renewal. Ramadan is the perfect time to review your life, renew yourself, get rid of bad habits, and build up your strength for the coming year. The first few days are hard, as always. You're thirsty and hungry, and would much prefer to do something mindless like watching TV, but instead you choose tp pick up the Quran and do some serious reading. After a week or so, you suddenly feel it. I'm not sure how to explain it. A sense of clarity. Like you've reached another level of Consciousness. You feel light (spiritually) and suddenly you are able to think very clearly, in a way you haven't for months.

That is the beauty of Ramadan. There's so much more I can write about but I don't have much time. My next post is going to be about the 'Dhofari Ramadan Menu'. Brace yourselves.

Note: That photo is of the Sultan Qaboos Grand Mosque in Salalah - I took this photo while I was driving! The sunset was too beautiful to miss.

H1N1 - Part Two

I heard this morning that the official start of the school year is back to August 29. Long Live Oman for loving education so much! Let's pray the flu doesn't spread anymore than it already has, and Insha'Allah Salalah will go back to normal. Amen!

Yesterday I drove by the corniche at noon. It was so ... magical. Yes, ok, so I love fog and mist and crashing waves and rain! Don't have enough drama in my life.

Hey, random question, does anyone know where I can find a set of i-pod speakers in Salalah?

H1N1

I've been trying to ignore it for the past couple of months, but slowly it's beginning to affect people around me. My cousin is a doctor at the hospital. Three weeks ago (I think), someone died from H1N1 in Salalah. This morning, again, a young woman died. No previous illness. Just H1N1. So many people I know have had it and were tested positive. According to sources from the hospital, there are over 25 swine flu patients in intensive care on oxygen masks. Just an hour ago, it was announced unofficially (and I assume officially later on today) that the beginning of the school year has been postponed a month. It's too risky to send kids to school.

What totally baffles me is how some people totally recover and others die. No one understands it yet. I understand how young children and older people with weak immunity or with previous illnesses can catch it and die, but what about healthy people? What about the girl who died this morning? Doctors say she didn't have health problems.

What the hell is happening in Salalah anyway? EVERYONE is sick. It's either regular flu, colds, or swine flu, but half the people I know are sick. And numbers are increasing at a slightly alarming rate. Maybe the heavy monsoon weather is triggering it? Helping it spread? It is the tourists?

Gogub & Categories

Yup, this place is called Gogub. High in the Dhofar Mountains!

It rained all morning. Cool and misty Salalah. Compared to my Airnoot session yesterday, I'm in no mood for humour today. I'm in a quiet thoughtful mood. Brainstorming mood. Inspirational mood. Dark mood. Would you believe that I still don't have any idea what I want to do with my life? C'mon Nadia, grow up, you should have SOME idea. But seriously, I don't. And guess what? I'm happy about it. The future is full of possibilities and you can never know what's going to come up in your life. If something comes to me, and I get 'that feeling', then I just go for it. I'm one of those people who wants to try and do everything. There are so many things I wants to experience; I don't have to follow the crowd. Creating my own path is more exciting. I hate it when people meet me and immediately want to label me or put me in some category. Do we all have to be categorized? People get nervous when they can't fit you into any of their categories. I'm like 'I work in this field, but that doesn't mean I'm an X ... I write but that doesn't mean I'm a writer ... ' It's weird; the world we have created for ourselves. I am me. Try to have a clear focus in your life and don't get so affected by other people.

I have something to say to a couple of people who emailed me. Ok, so my email is available through my blog because I'm open to any ideas and suggestions from readers. I have received SO MANY emails over the past five months from complete strangers all over the world telling me how much they enjoy reading my blog. Sometimes, I get emails with ideas for topics. It's great, and I thank everyone who writes to me. You inspire me, even if you don't know it. However, I did receive emails from people who just wanted to criticize. I did not answer them, because they don't deserve an answer, to be frank. So, my message is, 'If you don't like my blog, don't read the damn thing'. So many people in Salalah are totally taken aback by the idea of a Dhofari girl writing for the world wide web. Many of them find it indecent and outrageous. Many have written to me trying to find out who I am. Who cares what tribe I'm from, or who my family is or what connections I have? Who cares which university I studied at or what toothpaste I use? I'm writing to entertain you! It gives me pleasure.

Peace.

Sleepy Saturday

I had an odd dream last night. Oh, well. How are you all today? Pleasant weekend? Me, myself and I are totally bitten! Yes, bitten. Thursday afternoon my family decided to go on a picnic to Iteen. Beautiful green spot, lovely weather, zaatar tea (thyme), and kites. Perfect, right? NOT. Let me introduce you to picnickers' worst enemy: *drumroll* The EVIL Airnoot! (3airnoot)...

So, here's how it works. You get to a perfect picnic spot, ok? (see picture - this was our picnic spot)

You get your chairs out of the car, spread the mat, bring out the tea, cookies; whatever you brought. Get the kids set up with their kites or their ball. Everyone settles down in their chairs and sighs. Everything is perfect. Then .... suddenly (and I'm really serious here. We're talking a few seconds) .. 3 million little insect-type-monsters attack you. They're so tiny you can't even see them. They head for your eyes, your nose, your mouth. You get up, shout, wave your hands around like a maniac, scream; and that excites them even more. You spend two or three minutes fighting for your life, then you quickly pack up your picnic and run for your life. You spend the next twenty minutes speeding in a pathetic attempt to get the remaining monsters out of your car. Here's how I imagine it:

A group of Airnoots sitting on a rock polishing their little wings:

Airnoot One: Dude, I'm like so bored.

Airnoot Two: Yeah, tell me about it man.

Car drives up. We (humans) start getting out.

Airnoot One: Hey! Joey, look! Humans!

Airnoot Two: Wha? Where?

Airnoot One: Over there! In that ugly big Nissan Armada!

Airnoot Two (jumping up and clapping its wings): Yay! A-C-T-I-O-N, baby!

Airnoot One: Ok, let's call the Chief and rest of the group.

Airnoots assemble in front of rock. Chief Airnoot speaks.

Cheif Airnoot: Fellow, Airnooties, humans have just landed on our planet Iteen. We must defend our space from these creatures. Wait until they unload the car before you attack. When they sit down and expose the food (loud cheer), Team A will attack the humans, and Team B will head to the food. Am I clear?

Airnooties: Sir, yes, sir!

Cheif Airnoot: Ok, everyone, get ready to rumble. They are now exposing ... oh, WOW, a huge platter of Basboosa!! Oh, our lucky day! Ok, ATTACK!

So, you see what I mean, right? Ok, end of my Airnoot drama. While we were escaping from Planet Airnoot, I caught this photo of a Cotton Candy Boy:

The Cotton Candy Boy phenomena started quite recently, only a couple of years back I think. Wherever you go in the mountains area or picnic areas, you see one of these young boys, usually barefoot, selling you plastic bags of cotton candy. I find it a little depressing, but does anyone know if these boys are benefitting? Are they making any money? Is it helping them?

Just thoughts. It's raining outside. Have a great day.

Random Salalah Scene..

Only Asians (us included) would know what this photo is all about ..... (read below!)

Cricket match of course! India and Pakistan .... right there in the middle of the road. These are die-hard cricket fans! (note: the television showing the game is actually on sale in that tiny little shop. I love Salalah). I took this photo a few weeks ago on my way to ... somewhere.

Tonight is Salalah's first soccer match at our huge (well, huge to us) new sports stadium out near the mountains. Saudi and Oman. I figure all the tourists from Saudi Arabia are out there cheering.

Brings back memories of the Gulf Cup 19 in January. That was so much fun. I don't have a photo of the completed stadium because I haven't been out there yet, but this is a photo of the model. So, I want to send out a shout to our boys; the National Soccer Team .. 'Go guys!' and pray that they win.