An Honest Post

Normally my Ramadan posts involve a lot of complaining about supermarkets, and gushing about spirituality.

This Ramadan is a bit different for two reasons.

Reason One: I meal-plan very carefully in order to ensure that I venture out for food once a week early on a Friday morning before the food-crazy crowds make it to Lulu. Trust me, it works. I plan the meals down to the very last cup of coffee.

Reason Two: The word Islam is depressing me. Don't misunderstand me. I love my faith, but the filthy horrible inhuman behavior of those whose name happens to be the Islamic State almost puts me off the word 'Islam'. I know it's not a positive thing. I'll find my way back, but for the moment let me share with you some minor rants.

The moderate, the peaceful, and the liberal Muslims out there all cry out 'but the Islamic state doesn’t represent Muslims!!". Oh but it does! It may not represent the faith that we believe in, but it represents a large majority of Muslims who have made a huge effort over centuries and centuries to misinterpret and screw up the message of this religion for purely political or otherwise greedy purposes.  They do not represent us. But their teachings have reached us and in many ways continue to govern our lives. Don't turn a blind eye to this. And don't act helpless. Start asking yourself difficult questions.

I'll give you an example. A couple of years ago I was invited into a WhatsApp group by a relative of mine whose purpose was to 'educate' women about Islam. Naturally, men in our societies still think women need to be taught about religion. So, I joined the WhatsApp group out of curiosity to see what they were up to and how this man intended to 'educate' women. The group consisted of 50 women, mostly housewives. After a year in the group I learned that the purpose of the group was to brainwash women. It was to spread the teachings of extremist Saudi scholars. It was to remind women that their place in the world is behind closed doors. It was to teach women that God will love them if their hands are gloved, if their faces are covered, and if they never met or spoke to strange men. The group spent hours discussing how corrupt and blasphemous normal people (like me) were. They spent hours discussing how God would punish women who drove, women who worked and interacted with men. They thrived on these conversations. Of course, I remained anonymous in the group as did everyone else. I knew none of these women.

After a year, I couldn't take it any more. I removed myself quietly and resumed my normal corrupt life (as they put it).

But you see… these women supported ISIS. Everything they were taught in this group supported extremism. These ignorant uneducated women were being groomed. They were being taught that the purest version of Islam is the extreme version. This dangerous school of thought (originating in Saudi) is what causes people to join organizations like ISIS (whether developed by western conspiracies, or locally groomed in the Arab world).  ISIS and mainstream Muslims share the same mindset to some extent and similar attitudes. This is reality.

These types of extremist schools of thought are messing up any chance we have as Muslims of promoting peace.

When you cry out 'They do not represent me!', think again. Anyone who goes around beheading people and blowing up people's lives in the name of any religion is damn well representing that religion whether you want to admit it or not. They are damn well representing the fact that something is screwed up in some of our teachings.

What are we doing wrong?  Where did we go wrong? And what can we do to collectively turn things around? I was asking myself these questions at Suhoor this morning. A little heavy for  4 AM but what can you say? 

I was listening to an interesting program on Oman FM this afternoon on living a 'life of worship'. I didn't listen to the whole thing, but it got me thinking about other things… about Ramadan. About what I perceive as hypocrisy while others perceive as piousness.

In my community, regardless of whether you do it or not, there is always an expectation that you will suddenly become a deeply pious hermit in Ramadan. It is expected that you'll go around holding prayer beads, pray all your prayers at the mosque, and spend hours on Taraweeh and Qiyam Al Layl (both forms of prayer and worship). It is expected that you will read the Quran cover to cover once if not twice.

In reality, I'd say a large number of people here would like to think they're doing all that, but in fact they're spending a third of Ramadan in bed, a third in the kitchen, and a third watching scandalous MBC soap operas.

In all cases, it is not what Ramadan should be. Not to me at least. This Ramadan I'm not tolerating any of the Holier than Thou drama. This Ramadan I'm focusing on something different. How can I be a better human? Will spending three hours at the mosque every night help humanity? Probably not. Should I be out instead actively trying to make a difference? Yes I should. With every step I take (in work and in my personal life), I am trying to ask myself "How can I be kinder?". With every phone call, message, meeting, conversation, email, and word I utter I ask myself 'How can I be kinder? How can I help this person? Let me put myself in their shoes. How can I go the extra mile for this person today?  It's hard, trust me. It requires one to slow down and be more conscious, more aware. Does God need me to spend all day praying? Doubtful. How am I helping others this way? Surely we can start comprehending the fact that worship is not restricted to prayer and reading the Quran. Worship is action.

This Ramadan, I am setting aside religious traditions. This Ramadan I choose to be kinder, I choose to be conscious, I choose to read about common human values (Karen Armstrong anyone?), this Ramadan I am focusing on bettering myself as a human, not according to others' expectations, but according to my internal moral compass. I refuse to feel guilty. This Ramadan is about family, about the bigger picture, about empathy, awareness, strength, freedom, charity, and peace. This Ramadan my religion is humanity.

So there. 

Ramadhan in the Rain: Come to Salalah!

Ramadhan 2010 - Part (1)

Hey everyone! As expected, there were no moon sightings yesterday. To those of you who are new to the Islamic world, this is how it works. If Ramadhan is expected on Wednesday or Thursday (depending on the moon and the Islamic calendar), Oman TV will set up studios around the country and all our bearded sheikhs in their white turbans will line up on the fancy gold and red sofas around sunset. Meanwhile, more bearded guys are out in the mountains with telescopes trying to spot the moon. Finally, an hour or so later, His Excellency the Minister of Religious Affairs announces that the moon has not been seen, and therefore, Ramadhan for Oman will not start the next say but the day after. Secretly, everyone knows we won't be fasting till Thursday because frankly speaking, I can't remember the last time we fasted 30 days. Oman's been doing the 29-day trend for years. We always end up fasting a day after Saudi, and we break the fast with Saudi. Is it deliberate? God only knows.

What does Ramadhan mean? Muslims go into a month of being spiritual and pious. We do not eat or drink or smoke, etc (see picture above) from sunrise to sunset. Everyone tries to read the entire Holy Quran (30 chapters) during Ramadhan and many people pray Taraweeh (long Ramadhan prayers) at the mosque in the evening after the fast has been broken. People give to the poor and try to do good. The purpose of Ramadhan is to continue with your normal routine and actually feel the hunger and count your blessings, thus become more spiritual. That's how Ramadhan is supposed to be. How we survive the month in Oman is another story!

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First of all, our eating habits are terrible. Instead of breaking the fast with something sensible like fruit or light food, Omanis dive into at least 10 dishes. (at once). Pretty much everything on the Ramadhan menu is deep-fried or greasy. The food deserves a post of its own. Stay tuned.

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Then, due to the terrible evening eating habits in Ramadhan, people spend all night up and sleep late with a full stomach, and end up waking up in the morning feeling awful and zombie-like. Sleep deprived, stomach issues, and unable to even drink water. They come to work like that. And cheerful people like me who combine food properly and get enough sleep have to deal with them. Not cool.

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Anyway, I do not 'expect' my colleagues to be super-productive during Ramadhan, but my intention is to keep them busy with things that don't require much brain-work like filing and organizing. However, for those of you who deal with the government sector during Ramadhan, my suggestion is to STAY AWAY and postpone all communication until after Eid. Same with any smoker you know. It's not worth it. To all non-Muslims reading this, be patient and just ... chill.

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On a more cheerful note, the monsoon rains continue in Dhofar and it's just simply breathtaking. Evidently, many of the tourists from the UAE and Saudim are staying for Ramadhan since it's much cooler and nicer than it is in other GCC countries. It makes total sense. They can sleep all day, wake up early afternoon, cook/buy their Iftar(breaking-fast-food) and drive their fancy land cruisers into the mountains for a sunset-picnic and a night of relaxation.

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As I mentioned last year, I AM BLESSED to be fasting in a Muslim country. Everything and everyone is on your side. Restaurants are closed, everyone is fasting, working hours are shorter, you pray with thousands of others and basically you're all in the same boat. When I was living abroad, it was h.e.l.l. Sunset was at 9 p.m. I fasted for 14-15 hours. No one understood. And very few people cared. Everywhere I went, there were distractions. As usual, I dedicate this post to all the Muslims living in non-Muslim countries who will be fasting this year. I am thinking of you and I wish you a blessed Ramadhan. It's not easy fasting. In the Muslim world, things slow down and you're given the chance to focus on religion and spirituality. In the non-Muslim world, not so much. Every Ramadhan, I prepare my list of resolutions and feel I have time to organize my life. No one is bugging me for appointments, meetings, social gatherings, etc. An entire month to myself. It's lovely.

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So, that's Part (1) for now. My colleagues are forcing me to pick up goodies for them. They've demanded chocoaltes, cake, baked goodies and sandwiches. Why do I humor them?

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Happy Ramadhan!

Ramadan Driving

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Do I really need to comment? Nah!

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Dhofari Ramadan Menu - Do you really need 300 bottles of Vimto?

Ok, here it is; Dhofaris exposed at last.

What is it about Ramadan anyway that makes people obsessed with food? Why is it that you spend more on groceries during Ramadan yet you're fasting and you only eat one meal a day? Why is it that every house in Salalah eats the same damn thing every single night of the holy month? They eat the same thing every day for a month, but never during the rest of the year. When am I ever going to figure it out?

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Yesterday I walked into the Lulu Centre (our major supermarket) to buy two miserable items; tomatoes and milk. Ok? I should have been out of there in about three minutes, right? Wrong. I swear to you I was in there for 50 minutes, in a lineup of 18 people (note: there are five counters). Every shopper had one or two shopping carts filled with the exact same products. I almost gave up but I really really needed those tomatoes for my Iftar cooking. To kill time, I got out my camera and starting taking photos of the Ramadan displays (see photo)

Yup, what you are looking at my dear friends is the Leaning Tower of Crème Caramel. Believe me, Dhofaris only eat creme caramel in Ramadan. Same with oatmeal, dumplings, vimto, samboosas, jelly, etc. So, what exactly is the Ramadan menu? Let me explain; every afternoon during Ramadan every kitchen in Salalah is busy producing the same dishes. Call to prayer comes at sunset, and everyone gathers around the mat/table to eat the same dishes. I'm telling you, it's true! I've asked all my friends and they all eat the same thing. They have an eating marathon from the moment the call to prayer comes and for about ten minutes until it's time to pray. During those ten minutes, every person will stuff as much food into their face as possible, and in no particular order. It's a free for all. You want to eat jello with your samboosa? Go ahead! How about watermelon and beef soup? Be my guest.

Dhofari Iftar Menu: The Everyday Basics:

Samboosas سمبوس (usually filled with spicy vegetables and ground beef)

Luqaymat لقيمات: (sweet dumplings dipped in sugar syrup)

Soup شوربة: ( Ramadan soup made with beef, vegatables and oats. Quite delicious with lemon)

Vimto فيمتو: (red poison)

Coffee & Dates

Thareed ثريد : (a traditional Omani dry bread soaked in a beef sauce. Tasty)

Sandwiches: (usually most families will have an assortment of small sandwiches)

Creme Caramel!

Custard مهلبية

Jello!

Usually a dish of spicy macaroni

Watermelon (to ensure you have the worst case of Digestive Volcanos in the history of mankind)

Kindly note that all of this is eaten at the same time. Some families are brave enough to introduce new dishes to this menu. Lots of families have a variety of cold desserts (usually a mix of creme caramel, custard, jello, swiss rolls and dream whip. Lots and lots of dream whip). Also note, dear friends, that most families will have a heavy meal of rice and meat/chicken later on in the night (anytime between 10 p.m and 1 a.m). I can only imagine what their sleep/dreams must be like after such a heavy meal. Oh, well. This is our culture. We developed these odd eating habits (our ancestors certainly didn't eat like that) somewhere over the past 20 years I suppose. What do you eat in Ramadan? Give me proof that there are people out there that eat normally!

Peace.

Why We Love Ramadhan - Dedicated to Muslims in Western Countries

Hey Everyone! Ramadan Kareem! Before I start talking about my Ramadan thoughts, I should give a mini-introduction for my readers around the world (and yes, there are many) who may not know what Ramadan is. First of all, most of you know that Muslims follow a lunar calendar. Ramadan is the ninth month of the Islamic calendar. It is a month of fasting, in which Muslims refrain from eating, drinking, sexual conduct, smoking, and indulging in anything that is ill-natured from dawn until sunset everyday for a month. Muslims all over the world love the month of Ramadan and look forward to it with mounting excitement. In the weeks preceding Ramadan lives are scrutinised, and plans are made for a month of serious worship and supplication. The countdown begins and conversations start with how many weeks it is until the blessed month arrives. Perhaps non-Muslims wonder why we look forward to fasting days and sleepless nights. Ramadan offers the chance of redemption and great rewards. It is a month like no other. A month of spiritual reflection and prayer. Hearts are directed away from worldly activities and towards God.

Fasting is meant to teach us patience, modesty and spirituality. Ramaḍān is a time to fast for the sake of Allah, and to offer more prayer than usual. During Ramaḍān, Muslims ask forgiveness for past sins, pray for guidance and help in refraining from everyday evils, and try to purify themselves through self-restraint and good deeds.

I follow several blogs written by young Muslims living in Western counries, namely Muslim Kid, Organica, Living in Layla Land, Jasmine's Yard, etc. Living in countries like the USA and the UK is not always easy for Muslims, so just IMAGINE for a moment what it's like to fast a full month in a country where everyone around you is eating, partying, and focused only on fun, materialism, money, drinking, etc. How do they manage? What difficulties do they face?

I feel so blessed to be living in a Muslim society where everyone fasts and the whole Arab/Muslim world goes into Ramadan mode (shorter work hours, no open restaurants, tarawih prayers for everyone, Qur'an in hand, making the extra effort to pray together 'Salat Jama'aa', etc). It really is wonderful. Yesterday everyone was glued to their television set in the evening waiting to hear if the moon had been seen! Then, it was announced 'Hilal Ramadan had been spotted. Tomorrow we start fasting!'. Immediately family and friends started texting one another to make sure everyone heard. Mothers headed into the kitchen to prepare the dawn meal. Men and women alike headed immediately to the mosque to pray the first set of Tarawih prayers. Many people put away their music, cigarettes, sheesha pipes, and anything else they'd decided to give up in Ramadan. Children who would be fasting for the first time hopped up and down in excitement. Festive!

This morning alarm clocks all around the world went off at 4 a.m; mothers got out of bed and woke their children and husbands up. Everyone ate in silence, still half asleep. Slowly, one by one, they made their way to the washroom to wash for prayers. The father lined up Sijjadas (prayer mats) on the floor in two rows. Males in the front row, females in the back. The family lines up to pray together and start the fast. After praying, usually the older ones stay up and read Qur'an. The younger ones head back to bed. Peaceful Dawn. The mother may stand at the window and watch the sun come up.

Morning comes, everyone heads to work/school. Everyone greets one another with 'Ramadan Kareem!'. Work ends early. Families head home. Some rest. Some read Qur'an or pray. It's quiet-time. A couple of hours before sunset, the mother and girls head into the kitchen to start preparing Iftar, the breaking of the fast meal. Everyone has a pile of new recipes ready. Men hang around the kitchen door hoping to see what's being cooked. Finally, the call to prayer is heard 'Allahu Akbar!' and everyone grabs a glass of milk or juice and three dates (or five or seven, etc - uneven numbers is the Sunnah). They sigh. Bliss. Oh, how we take food for granted when so many people around the world starve every day of the year. Family gets up to pray together then they dive into the yummy dishes. After Iftar, the older family members get ready to head to the mosque to pray Tarawih with the rest of the community. Everywhere you go, people are heading to the mosque. It's such a beautiful and inspirational time.

Everyone is thinking about opening a new page; spiritual renewal. Ramadan is the perfect time to review your life, renew yourself, get rid of bad habits, and build up your strength for the coming year. The first few days are hard, as always. You're thirsty and hungry, and would much prefer to do something mindless like watching TV, but instead you choose tp pick up the Quran and do some serious reading. After a week or so, you suddenly feel it. I'm not sure how to explain it. A sense of clarity. Like you've reached another level of Consciousness. You feel light (spiritually) and suddenly you are able to think very clearly, in a way you haven't for months.

That is the beauty of Ramadan. There's so much more I can write about but I don't have much time. My next post is going to be about the 'Dhofari Ramadan Menu'. Brace yourselves.

Note: That photo is of the Sultan Qaboos Grand Mosque in Salalah - I took this photo while I was driving! The sunset was too beautiful to miss.