(1) You're Loud.
(2) All Dhofaris are related to you one way or another.
(3) You won't go into any store unless you can park right in front of it.
(4) You insert words like 'Ghabz', 'Yakha', and 'Wayahoo' into most of your sentences.
(5) You are recognized as Dhofari wherever you go (women from their Burqas or Pom Poms, and men from the way they walk, their dishdasha style and good looks of course :)
(6) You think you're better than everyone else.
(7) You spend your weekends playing cards on The Garbeeb
(8) All picnics involve beef and red tea.
(9) You attend at least seven weddings during the Khareef season
(10) You spend 100 OMR on wedding makeup (for women) and another 100 to rent a thobe just to attend the wedding of a distant cousin who you don't even like.
(11) At least three or four of your first cousins have asked for your hand in marriage.
(12) You accept (and use) new additions into the Dhofar vocabulary like 'Haraqni'.
(13) Men tilt their kummas to the side and throw a turban on their shoulders and walk like they own the place.
(14) You have two cell phones.
(15) Mageen (dried meat), Baitha7 (Root veg) and Safeela7 (dried abalone) are gourmet foods.
(16) Your house is always crowded with visitors.
(17) You have Wasta. Lots of it.
(18) Everyone in your family has a bank or car loan.
(19) Everything is '3aib' (not proper).
(20) You drink tea all day long.
(21) Fat & white (for women) is beautiful.
(22) You're always on the lookout for a bride for one of your brothers.
(23) Your nickname for Omanis who are not Dhofari is 'Mishkak'. (And so I met a mishkak the other day and he said ....)
(24) You believe soccer is more important than work and/or exams (in fact, everything in your life is more important than work and studying)
(25) Everyone in your family is called Mohammed, Ahmed, Ali, Salim, Said, Tufool, Mahad, Khair, Khiyar, Mezoon, Fatma, Noor, Bakhit, and Muna.
(26) Your father owns at least two guns.
(27) You own at least 10 Kammashas if you're a woman, and at least 5 tassled turbans if you're a man.
(28) At least one member of your family was involved in the Dhofar Rebellion in the late 1960s and early 1970s.
(29) Turmeric is used as a cure for everything.
(30) You drink Mountain Dew for breakfast, lunch and dinner
(31) You pour hot sauce over everything.
(32) No meal is complete without rice
(33) No rice is complete without a dollop of Qatmeem or 'Saman' (ghee)
(34) You only go shopping at night
(35) You attend at least two weddings and two funerals a month.
(36) You can't stay still when 'Madar' music is on. I swear it's true.
(37) You own at least 20 bottles of perfume
(38) You realize parking lots are the best place to play cards.
(39) You think you know everything about world politics.
(40) You think the coolest thing to do in town is hang out on the corniche in Al Haffa.
(41) You go to Khairat Al Janoob every month to stock up on all beauty necessities.
(42) when polishing cars in a parking lot becomes a routine social gathering
(43) Your women are never officially 'seen' by any strange males.
(44) You swear you'll divorce your spouse if your guests don't have 2nd or 3rd helpings of food.
(45) Your family owns at least one Toyota Land Cruiser.
(46) You don't feel the need to indicate when switching lanes.
(47) You ...
(48) You ....
Inspired by a group on Facebook, I've added my own list. This post is dedicated to my favorite reader who calls himself 'SO LONG ... AHMED'. Dear Ahmed, if you're reading this, make your own additions to my list.