I haven't written for over a week, I know. I've been really busy, but no worries; I've been accumulating notes on things I've observed and will write about them in future posts. However, today I was thinking about a friend of mine who got married three months ago. My friend teaches at a local junior high school, and is quite pretty and 'white' (the most important part for Omani men it seems!). I'll name her Amina. Anyway, so Amina graduated from university, immediately got hired as a math teacher, and has been doing really well for the past three years. Last year, Idiot Head (her husband) heard about her from relatives who also teach at the same school, and decided to marry her because (1) She was white (2) She has an income (3) She drives a Lexus. Thus, the marriage was arranged. They got married three months ago, hated each other, and got a divorce after a month. The guy, Idiot Head, was married before, and divorced his first wife in order to marry Amina. Now, he went back to his first wife (how does she ACCEPT a man like that?), and Amina has discovered that she's pregnant! Yes, pregnant! And guess what? She's NOT going back to him. If I woman is pregnant after a divorce, she usually goes back to the guy, but Amina decided that being an independant single mother is much nicer than being married to Idiot Head. I can tell you, everyone in town is talking about it. It's so 'taboo' to be pregnant and unmarried. I admire Amina for her courage, and I'm sure she'll be a great Mom. Sadly, when the child is seven years old, his father can legally take full custody of the child. I pray that doesn't happen. We have a weird system. Pray for Amina and pray that Salalah can get rid of the small-town gossip element that poisons our society. Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Change is Coming!
I haven't written for over a week, I know. I've been really busy, but no worries; I've been accumulating notes on things I've observed and will write about them in future posts. However, today I was thinking about a friend of mine who got married three months ago. My friend teaches at a local junior high school, and is quite pretty and 'white' (the most important part for Omani men it seems!). I'll name her Amina. Anyway, so Amina graduated from university, immediately got hired as a math teacher, and has been doing really well for the past three years. Last year, Idiot Head (her husband) heard about her from relatives who also teach at the same school, and decided to marry her because (1) She was white (2) She has an income (3) She drives a Lexus. Thus, the marriage was arranged. They got married three months ago, hated each other, and got a divorce after a month. The guy, Idiot Head, was married before, and divorced his first wife in order to marry Amina. Now, he went back to his first wife (how does she ACCEPT a man like that?), and Amina has discovered that she's pregnant! Yes, pregnant! And guess what? She's NOT going back to him. If I woman is pregnant after a divorce, she usually goes back to the guy, but Amina decided that being an independant single mother is much nicer than being married to Idiot Head. I can tell you, everyone in town is talking about it. It's so 'taboo' to be pregnant and unmarried. I admire Amina for her courage, and I'm sure she'll be a great Mom. Sadly, when the child is seven years old, his father can legally take full custody of the child. I pray that doesn't happen. We have a weird system. Pray for Amina and pray that Salalah can get rid of the small-town gossip element that poisons our society. 
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That's so sad.
ReplyDeleteBut I wonder, if she's that smart and has all that courage why on earth did she accept to marry a guy like him?!
Anyways, inshallah she becomes a good mom to her baby. May god be with all those who suffer 'cause of this kinda stupid traditions (ie. arranged marriages)
Amen. She married him because it was arranged and she had no choice. Her family convinced her that he was the best she'd get, and they convinced her that no one else would marry her because she was too old (i.e 29!!).
ReplyDeleteHmm that's really sad. What I know as a fact is that divorce is increasing rapidly in Salalah. Thanks to arranged marriages.
ReplyDeleteI believe that many smart girls in Salalah (and many other areas in Oman) are victims of arranged marriages. It's really difficult to find compatible partners in this part of the world who are smart enough or open minded, and who don't give a damn about what others in the society will think of them.
Actually, I've heard that the divorce rate in Salalah is 64%! Imagine that they believe 64 of marriages end up in divorce after the first year!
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say your writings are really unique, original and creative. Keep it up :)
ReplyDeleteWOW nice writings, I live in Salalah but I am not Omani and I can related to every thing you said, May Allah bless you
ReplyDeleteKeep it going
Thank you 'Anonymous'.. I think in this post, many women in the Arab world relate to this. It's very common. I do hope things change soon, Inshallah. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI am just wondering why did Amina marry Idiot Head, that was a big mistake on her side in the first place. No?
ReplyDeleteActually Sting, she married him because:
ReplyDelete(1) Her brothers pressured her
(2) She was older (29), a spinster in our society!
(3) Both her parents passed away, and her brothers made it clear that they wanted her to get married so they wouldn't have to be 'in charge' of her anymore.
(4) The guy proposed, so she thought he would be ok because he had a good 'reputation'.
(5) She expected him to be decent because she trusted her family
(6) He was an IDIOT HEAD.
Strange that you asked about him. I just saw him by coincidence today.
I feel sorry for her...look what an arranged (by force =\) marriage resulted in.
ReplyDeleteSeriously our societies need to change this retarded (no offense to any society) way of marriage because it only results in major problems, most probably a not so good reputation (for example, this person has been married before wonder what's wrong with her and why she divorced. Something like that =\) thanx to the way people think, gossip and even heartbreak.
Honestly, her brothers are to be blamed...she's a fully grown woman who can take care of herself. I don't know why it's so hard just to support her instead of putting her in such situation.
and yes...I agree with everyone that said you're writing style is nice!! =)
Arranged marriage isn't always bad. Some people are lucky, some people aren't so lucky.
ReplyDeleteThe divorce rate is CRAZY! I didn't know it was that high. I was actually about that topic a few days ago.
Welcome Dhofari Chick (I like your name).. The Divorce Rate IS crazy, and you keep wondering how many of the hundreds of people who got married this Khareef are going to last until the next one. Fingers crossed.
ReplyDeleteIts strange!!! U hate ur husband but still 'GET PREGNANT'...
ReplyDeleteMany men here don't believe in birth control and think it's sinful.
ReplyDeleteIndeed a sad naration. May Allah bless her
ReplyDeleteAwwwwww, may Allah give her strength. Sorry for commenting on so many posts BTW, I just like to read a blog from the start, in case debates come up later.
ReplyDelete