More Than Just Living

"يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُمْ مِنْ ذَكَرٍ وَأُنْثَى وَجَعَلْنَاكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوا إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ "

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I've been thinking a lot lately... trying to figure out where I'm heading in life. I'm healthy, I have a wonderful family, I love Islam, I live in a beautiful country, I love my job, I'm always active and busy. I wake up every morning, contemplate my life, and then ask my bedroom wall 'Now what? What's next?'.

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It's not enough to just be satisfied and continue to live. I've always felt like I need to do more. I need to give more. Sometimes when you watch the news, or read real stories about other people, you may become overwhelmed or start thinking that there's so much happening in the world, and you're just one tiny grain of sand on that beach. The world is such an amazing place. 6 Billion people sharing this one small planet. We each affect the lives of others everyday in ways we cannot even begin to comprehend. We're all different in so many ways, yet we're all the same. We all have to wake up in the morning, face life, go to work, earn a living, take care of our families, deal with birth, marriage, death, illness, happiness, sadness, love, pain, ... and we all go to bed at night thinking about the events of our day. .

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Is it enough to just live your life, pray, read Quran for your own benefit, work towards your own salvation and hope to get into heaven? It's not enough to just help yourself. The world needs us. Others needs our help. I've been following the news from Haiti after the earthquake several times a day. The situation is so terrible that if you even think about it and imagine yourself as a person living in Haiti, you probably wouldn't be able to sleep at night. I almost murdered my colleague yesterday who said 'Why are America & Europe helping Haiti? Why are all these Western countries running to the rescue? There must be an American conspiracy in there somewhere'. I managed to remain calm and not throw my stapler or punch at him. An earthquake has damaged their country, killed hundreds of thousands of people, left millions homeless, where the HELL is a conspiracy supposed to fit into all this? It's a crisis. If the world doesn't run to the rescue, then we are not human. ..

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If an earthquake hit Oman, damaging the whole country. If Salalah or Muscat were completely leveled (i.e every building collapsed) .. if we had over 250,000 dead (that's double the population of Salalah), and the whole country was homeless..... how would we react? How would we deal with it? We'd be so overwhelmed with the tragedy that we wouldn't even know what to do. Your whole life collapsing around you. Your sense of security completely lost. Would the rest of the world not run to the rescue? Would we not expect other countries to help us? OF COURSE. Regardless of political borders and passports, we are all humans, brothers and sisters belonging to one country called Earth. In times of need, we help one another. We must. .

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A fellow blogger sent me a blog written by a 22 year-old American girl, Molly, who left her safe home in June 2009, left her family and friends and went to Haiti to volunteer for one year with children who suffer from mental and physical disabilities. She had been writing regularily about her experiences in Haiti and the children she was working with. Her last post was December 30, 2009. She was a victim of the earthquake. Her body was found among the rubble of the children's centre she was working at. That's just one story from the millions of stories around the world about people who are trying to make a difference. Do you think there's a conspiracy behind a 22 year old girl who donated one year of her life to helping others? Of course not. She was just a good person who wanted to do 'more' in this world. 'More'. ... More than just living.

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I've been thinking about this lately because it upsets me sometimes when my friends show no interest at all in the rest of the world. It's as if the rest of the planet doesn't exist. There are people who feel connected to the world as a 'whole' and who are able to look at the big pictures. Those people are usually well-travelled and have seen life beyond the borders of Oman and Dubai. .
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In fact, I think most of Salalah are quite happy living their own lives, deep in their society and families, without feeling any need to connect with the rest of the world. They're so zoomed in to their own little lives (yes little) that they are unable to pull back and look at the big picture. Where they stand in the universe. Where they stand in life. It saddens me to know that people around me are so pre-occupied with the tiny details of their day to day life that they are unable (not just unwilling, but unable) to look at the big picture of their life, let alone 'life' in general. I know this is the case with many people around the world, and I'm not generalizing. I know some very enlightened Dhofaris who have travelled, gone out of their way to learn more, and who have taken the extra mile in life and feel a sense of belonging to this planet. However, they remain a minority. There are very few of them.

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Then again, sometimes I don't blame them. They haven't been taught to think about the rest of the world. They haven't been told "You can do anything you set your mind to" by their parents. They haven't been encouraged to travel and learn. The concept of volunteering and 'giving' to strangers, and small acts of kindness doesn't exist in our little society. Our society doesn't support breaking out of tradition. By tradition here, I mean sticking to the tribe through good and bad. Never moving away from Salalah or trying to build your own life. Collectivistic thinking. Collectivistic society. It's VERY hard in Salalah to have your own life, and to try and make a difference. They are afraid of change and when they adopt change it's more often negative.

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Do you think I'm being negative? My friend was criticized by her family for trying to help someone with a physical disability. Their reason "That child is not related to us. What will people say about you? You have a reputation. Stop volunteering". This isn't a rare case. I've seen it over and over again. Dhofari families feel very uneasy about volunteering and 'being out there' helping others. They're still VERY uneasy about people with special abilities & needs. Is it because they're uneducated? Or because our society doesn't support that kind of thing? Are they afraid? Afraid of what? A child in a wheelchair who just wants someone to play with? An abandoned baby at the hospital who just wants to be held? Why is it so taboo?! Where is humanity?

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And all this crap about 'reputation' and being 'seen'. (ooh .. shivers ... I've been SEEN!). Rubbish. Salalah NEEDS more volunteer work programs. We don't have any. It's very hard to volunteer at the centre for children with special abilities & needs. The only other centre is the centre for the blind, which is in terrible shape. The hospital won't allow volunteers into the abandoned babies' section. I know some British women used to volunteer there but they won't let anyone else in unless you have strong wasta. People need to be given the opportunity to help. A lot of time is being wasted everyday in this town by young people who don't have anything useful to do. We need a well-run active youth centre where young men and women alike can sign up to volunteer on a regular basis. Simple things like working with children, teaching mentally disabled children how to swim, helping children with learning difficulties, cleaning up beaches, planting trees, volunteering in schools, running awareness campaigns, and just doing good in society. WHY NOT?
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I can't do it alone. Help. Today go out of your way to help three random people. Small acts of kindness. Throw a pebble in the water and wait for the ripple effect. Life is too short just to 'live' it like a normal person. Go out of your way. I know my post is random. The result of many years of thinking. If my thoughts aren't organized, forgive me. I'm basically writing what comes to my mind without thinking about coherence.

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This post is dedicated to my friend Shahrazad, a speech therapist who makes a difference in this world every day of her life by helping people overcome their speech problems after accidents, strokes, and many other cases. She is an englightened person. I want her to go back to writing. Perhaps this post will inspire her.

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PS (if you want to help in any way, look at Molly's blog and see how you can donate to Haiti)