Dear Readers,I'm having a hard time absorbing what I just heard at work, so I'm going to share this piece of information with you and see what you think. The uncle of one of my colleagues (yes, the uncle) has announced that he's marrying a 19 year-old girl with a dowry of 55,000 Rials. You heard me correctly; FIFTY FIVE THOUSAND. In addition to two Toyota land cruisers for her family and a gift of 10,000 Rials for her father. Kindly note that the man we are discussing here is a 64 year-old geezer with two wives and a dozen children.
Do we really live in the year 2009? Will we continue to hold on to strange traditions forever and ever? What kind of life is the girl going to have? How does she see her future with a man old enough to be her grandfather?
Comments?
I THINK SHE IS LUCKY
ReplyDeleteYou must be a man then...
ReplyDeleteu didn't ask m why??
ReplyDelete^ Anonymous's way of thinking: The man is gonna die soon anyway leaving her a good amount of money to start a lavish life with the man of her dreams?
ReplyDeleteWhy is she accepting to marry this old man? I don't want to judge anyone, but if the woman accepts this, then it is up to her.
ReplyDeleteReligion and law both give her complete freedom to choose who she wishes to marry. So no one is forcing her.
I've seen this exact senario, a 70-something year-old man married a 15 year-old girl from a neighbouring country. The girl came from a very poor background, so did not actually mind the marriage, they saw it as a 2-way benefit concept.
ReplyDeleteThe old man was too old to impregnats his lady, he died at the age of 80-something leaving her with a generous amount of wealth but.... she actually suffered a mental breakdown after his death and is still in hospital till this very date!
I love you guys. In these situations in Dhofar, usually the father brainwashes the daughter into agreeing to marriage. The girls almost never do it willingly. Not these days. Forced marriage still happens here, even though it is against the principals of Islam.
ReplyDeleteThougtreservoir: why did she have a mental breakdown?
Sick sick and SICK!!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry but this is just SICK!! =\
Doesn't enter the brain *cries*
Generally this is rarely happening these days
ReplyDeleteso i dont think it is serious!!
It is rare but it still happens, and it HAS to change.
ReplyDeleteam with u it has to CCCCCCChange, but please tell me how??
ReplyDeleteGosh you're a pessimist, Mr.Anonymous. Things WILL change. They already have. It's clear from the number of arranged marriages there are these days compared to the ones five years ago! Things are changing RAPIDLY. I see change on a daily basis.
ReplyDeletePeople say it's "envy".. She was left with properties around the country, fancy cars... you name it!
ReplyDeleteHe was good to her throughout, despite his old age he used to take her places and pamper her like his baby doll. His last days were bad, he got real ill and she used to take care of him. Then she started some symptoms of insomnia, anxiety and all.
Why the breakdown, I guess he was her one and only, her childhood was ripped away and given to this man (maybe it wasn't as bad afterall, but it's the fact!), he took good care of her all along but he couldn't continue doing so. Now she's emotionally disturbed, alone and with mental problems :(
How VERY depressing :-(
ReplyDeleteam not a pessimist Nadia, am just trying with you to solve such a problem IF POSSIBLE, we know it is rare but it is there.
ReplyDeleteShould we act?
Of COURSE we should act. The first step is to become a role model, and an agent of change. Throw a pebble in the water, and make a difference.
ReplyDeleteI meant the 'Ripple Effect'
ReplyDeleteOuch. The things people would do for money are just sickening.
ReplyDeleteTo think that she might be forced into this is just heartbreaking. Allah y3eenha!
For sure, we are not going to do such a thing for ourselves or for our doughters, so how can we help the affected girls if one of us heard that a girl will marry an old man in his/her city or village?
ReplyDeleteThis is so pathetic, note the following:
ReplyDelete1. The dowry is just too much! If I was in her place, I'd have felt ashamed, it's just like he bought her life with his money!
2. The age difference between the glorious groom and the poor bride
3. How long would their marriage would probably last Vs. how long her marriage to someone at her age range would probably last?
Then again, if she wasn't forced, then it's surly her own mistake and she should be fully aware of the sequences.
I can imagine the father brainwashing the daughter, but what I cant imagine how NO ONE in her family tried to help her or get her out of this situation.
ReplyDeleteThey're poor. The thought of 55,000 to them is something out of a dream. The girl probably feels that she's doing something good for her family, poor child.
ReplyDeleteHi Nadia,,
ReplyDeleteI am an expat and I live next to Lulu... sorry to hear this... but this keep happening.. i dont know why? gud u posted this information on net.....keep doing ur job report whatever u can... and may be someday inshallah u will achieve what u aim by posting these information...
Depends on the man and the girl (was the man sgood as the Prophet S.A.W????) but for the most at this makes me go, WTH is her father thinkng???
ReplyDeleteI think this man is Shehry (perverteds.) ..
ReplyDelete