Times of Oman Interview Questions

Might as well follow the Dragon's example and publish my answers to Sandhya Menon's questions (intelligent reporter from the Times of Oman) before the paper is out. I was asked by Sandhya (also a blogger) a couple of weeks ago if I would be willing to participate in a piece she was writing on bloggers. I agreed, for the sake of all newspaper readers who crave something interesting every once in a while.

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She also asked for recommendations and I immediately sent her the links to some of my favorite blogs. Muscat Confidential was at the top of the list and it amused me terribly to hear that he was banned by the Times of Oman and thus could not be part of the article. Shame. However, fear not, for someone must have gotten in a good word somehow and he was invited to answer a set of questions. I will say no more. Part One on bloggers is in today's newspaper and part two will be out tomorrow. Stay tuned.

PS (please note that I chose mild/polite/friendly answers for the newspaper)

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Will you ever blow your cover?

No. Blowing my cover will limit the topics I can write about. Anonymity gives me the freedom of writing honestly without worrying about being labeled.

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Are you afraid you might be found out?

Not really. I'm not committing I crime, you know? Being anonymous is just more convenient.

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If you are, what do you think the consequence would be? I chose not to answer.

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How was it for you to have moved back after living in environments that afford women much more freedom that Oman?

I do not feel that I lack freedom in Oman. I am proud of being Omani and I would never choose to live anywhere else. However, I do live in a conservative town and unlike Western countries, social networking is huge. Everyone knows everyone. It bothered me at first that I seemed to have no privacy, but I just needed time to adapt. It was hard moving from a country that values individuality back into a society where collectivistic thinking rules and people are afraid of anyone 'different'.

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Apart from realization of writing skills and a wonderful level of comfort with English, what was the reason you started to blog?

I started blogging because I want to write a book on society in Dhofar sometime in the future. A friend of mine (an author) told me that in order to work towards this goal, I had to write one good page a day. Writing for yourself can get depressing after a while, so I thought 'why not find an audience?'. Blogging was the perfect solution. I needed to write about real issues and I needed feedback in order to stay motivated. My readers are my inspiration. It has been an amazing journey.

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Do you think you can bring about a change in society, however slow and tedious, with your writing and the awareness that your blog spreads?

Definitely. When I first started blogging, I thought I'd be writing for myself, but within a month or two when Dhofari Gucci became more popular, things changed. I'd meet someone for coffee and they'd immediately ask 'Have you heard about Dhofari Gucci?'. It was insane. I came to realize that whenever anyone Googles anything about Dhofar or Salalah in English, inevitably a link to my blog shows up on the first search page. That's how most people find it. I feel a strong sense of responsibility, especially after I discovered that my articles are being used as teaching material in colleges and I even discovered that someone quoted me in their Ph.D! This is why I try to do a little research before expressing my own personal opinion.

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Has your blog ever been noticed by anyone who has objections to what you write in there?

Yes indeed. I get hate mail on a regular basis. I can't please everyone, especially since I'm writing about sensitive social issues. If you're asking about objections from higher authorities, I pick my topics carefully. My intention has never been to offend anyone. (I know that I've annoyed some officials from the Ministry of Information in Dhofar on several occasions. A lot of people don't appreciate my spreading Dhofar's dirty laundry - as they put it- on the internet)

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If yes, how have you responded/reacted?

I had to start moderating comments a few months back when Dhofari Gucci started gaining publicity.

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How far do you plan to take your blog in that that it reveals a side of Dhofar/Oman and its people that is not very well known?

Last year after doing a little online research, I realized there are absolutely no blogs about Dhofar written by Omanis in English. In fact, it's quite hard to find any information about life in Dhofar online unless through expat websites. There are many aspects about our culture that expats do not understand. So many people come here as tourists but don't have any idea about our history and society. They're shown the green mountains, beaches, camels, coconuts, etc, but where can they find 'real' information about the people? Dhofar is such an amazing place. I feel it's my responsibility to live up to the role of Dhofar's ambassador to the English speaking world. I try to stay real without sounding like a tourism website.

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Do you have any ambitions for the blog?

Yes! There's so much I want to write about and there are so many issues that need to be tackled. I'm hoping Dhofari Gucci will become the most reliable online source of information on Dhofar. In order to reach that goal, I need to find more time to do research write. At the moment, obligations and duties in my 'real' life have taken all my spare time and I find I don't have an hour or two a day to write.

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Does it bother you that you have to be anonymous to tell it like it is?

Not much. Sometimes it gets frustrating when I have to change details around before publishing posts in order to conceal my identity. However, the advantages of being anonymous completely outweigh the disadvantages.

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Does anyone know of your identity? Family, close friends?

No. However, I have met other female bloggers in person for coffee and a chat. We're now great friends. Bloggers cover up for one another because we're all on the same boat. I have met some very enlightened young women. We all have a lot in common and after following each other's blogs for a while, it only makes sense to meet in person. I'm constantly fascinated by the number of young Omani writers out there who are capable to expressing themselves so easily in English.

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How does having this unlimited space affect your personality? For eg: Are you more interested in the goings-on of things so that you can have material for your blog? Are you more socially aware because you realize you can't put up something that you don't understand?

Yes I definitely feel that I'm more tuned in to my surroundings. I'm always looking for topics to write about. When I'm with my friends, I'm constantly asking for their opinion on anything from polygamy, witchcraft, divorce rates, local traditions, to local food and music! I carry a notebook around with me wherever I go. I definitely feel more passionate about Dhofar and I find that I'm more interested in reading about the history of this region. I find that I am able to zone out and look at Dhofar from an outsider's perspective as well as from a local girl's point of view.

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Do you write in Arabic as well?

I'm fluent in both Arabic and English, and I do write in Arabic. However, I'm more comfortable writing about Dhofar in English because I'm dealing with a completely different audience. The English-speaking online community in Oman is very different than the Arabic one, and there's plenty of information available in Arabic, so why not explore new territory?

News Alert: Bloggers in the Media

Looks like Community Queer was unblocked in the past 5 hours. Hmmm......?

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Take a peak at the Times of Oman newspaper tomorrow Tuesday the 16th. I predict an article on blogs. Interviews with a rather entertaining Dragon, sarcastic Dhofari Gucci, funny Rania, intense Reality in Oman, serious Omanoymous and wacky Other Oman...? It'll be interesting to see how it turns out. Keep your eyes peeled and have a great day!

Valentine's in Dhofar

No no ... to all your conservatives out there .. chill. I'm proud to say I haven't seen one red heart in Salalah this week, and no mention of Valentine's so we're safe from Western commercialism for the time being. We may not be so lucky next year.

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However, I took a trip down memory lane to the highschool I attended in Salalah. Saada Highschool to be exact (there are only 3 girls' highschools in Salalah anyway). Back in my days when we almost never interacted with any male who wasn't a family members, our social life revolved around the girls at schools. Imagine over a thousand girls between the ages of 15-18 in one building from 7:30 to 2:30 every single day. All those emotions, feelings, hormones, ... sheesh. Anyway, back in the days there was a bridge connecting grade 10 to grade 12 and that bridge was secretly and commonly known as 'The Bridge of Love' or جسر المحبة. I remember Valentine's Day was extremely important for any grade 10 girl who had a crush on a grade 12 senior. Or girls who had a crush on girls from other classes. On Valentine's day they would put red ribbons in their hair, suck red lollipops, and walk hand in hand through the schools grounds to declare .... declare what? Love? I thought it was hilarious. They weren't lesbians of course, but they were getting close. The worst part was having a crush on a teacher and leaving her a rose and a letter on her desk and secretly watching her office to see how she would react to the gift. Ahh... girls. Anyway, Al Hamdulillah we all grew up, went to college, and discovered a whole new world out there ... men.

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Speaking of the gays, please accept my condolences on the demise of the new blog 'Community Queer'. I don't think they were Omani, but they were definintely promoting gay love in Oman and they can't say we didn't warn them! Blocked by Omantel yesterday.

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Freedom of speech is a great thing, but do we really want complete freedom of speech when we know what the consequences are? I could get my blog banned in a day if I wanted just by writing one post on a highly controversial topic, but I pick my topics carefully and I try not to offend anyone because I love Dhofari Gucci... and I don't want to see it banned. So to all you rebels out there (minus the Dragon @ Muscat Confidential because he has angels watching over him), be careful what you write. It's all nice and dandy in the beginning when you realize 'hey, this is my space online and I can write whatever I want', but seriously, just be careful. Try not to offend. Try to remain objective. Respect our conservative Omani culture and Islam and don't get depressed because things are changing everyday, and soon as more people begin to understand true journalism & media, we will have more freedom of speech... but until then, remain respectful.

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Onto more cheerful subjects my favorite YouTube artist, Kina Grannis, is releasing her first album this month (yes YouTube can be a miracle sometimes) and her first single was released last week. It's called Valentine and it's been stuck in my head all week. Very simple and sweet melody. I've decided to annoy you guys with the tune because someone's gotta suffer with me!

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Have a Great Day!

Creativity

Most of you have no idea how hard it is to write. At times, I'm in the mood for blogging everyday. Ideas pour onto me like drops of rain and I soak them up and turn them into words. When I spend time with family and friends discussing real issues, I immediately I pull out my notebook and write. If I'm in a cafe, I start writing on napkins. At times I'm so full of ideas that I find myself unable to sleep. I toss and turn, wake up at 3 a.m and start writing.
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Then again, sometimes I have 2 or 3 hours of freedom and I decide to sit down and write. My mind suddenly becomes a blank page of nothingness. If you're a blogger, you'll understand what I'm talking about. If you're a reader, try to understand. Writing isn't that easy. I don't just write for Dhofari Gucci. I write for myself. I have so many notebooks and papers full of ideas. Some are suitable for this blog. Others are not.
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Those of you who know me personally will understand what my life has been like over the past couple of months. A mix of chaos, stress, work, people, travel, appointments, plans, ... and very little time to sleep and eat, let alone write. However, fear not for I intend to bring myself back into the habit of blogging about issues in a Dhofar on a more regular basis. Thank you for staying tuned.
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This morning I watched a talk on nurturing creativity given by one of my favorite authors. It was sent to me by a friend, and even though I had very little time, I decide 'to hell with it' and I sat down and listened. She is a very gifted speaker and her talk inspired me.
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I've been thinking about creativity lately. I often spend a few afternoons a month tutoring an 8 year-old girl. Let's name her Sara. She is very sweet, but very shy. She hardly speaks but her passion is art. She spends hours a day drawing and painting and I've been noticing as she develops her talents. For her birthday last month, I bought her a real kid-size wooden easle and a whole new set of paints, brushes and paper. She accepted the gift gratefully and a few days later her mother called me and said Sara was crying because she couldn't paint using her easle. I drove over to their house on my way home from work and asked the child why she couldn't paint. She looks down at the floor and whispered 'What if nobody likes my drawings?'. At that point my heart crumbled into a thousand pieces. This poor child was so afraid of people not liking her art that she couldn't bring herself to using her new professional easle and paints. She was terrified. Terrified of being creative.
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I managed to cheer her up and we painted together for a while (on the easle). I told her it didn't matter what people thought. As long as she was happy with her own painting, nothing else mattered. I told her that all the famous artists in this world didn't care for the opinions of others. Evidently her teacher had asked them to paint something nice and all the kids had painted flowers, houses, cars, etc. Sara painted squares and triangles, dark colours, very neat... and very much like analytic cubism (I saw her work) and her teacher looked at the paper and told her 'Sara, That is not art. Draw something real'. I was so furious. What kind of a teacher is that? Who says we have to draw something real in order to be artists? I asked Sara's mother if we can use her computer, and I typed in 'Pablo Picasso' into Google images. I watched as her eyes widened. She was blown away by his paintings. I told her he is one of the most famous artists in the world and that millions and millions of people love his work. Are his paintings realistic? No. Was he not one of the most creative people who lived on this planet? Yes. Since then Sara has been painting everyday. I told her to tell her teacher 'I'm painting like Picasso' whenever her teacher criticizes her.
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For heaven's sake, if you know someone who seems to have a hidden talent, help them nurture it and pull them out of their misery. So many of us are terrified of being creative. Terrified of putting our all into a piece of art, a photograph, a poem, a story, a play, ...
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I myself am terrified of being creative. The fear of being rejected is probably going to kill me one day but I'm trying to get over it. And I will help others get over it. So many people I know want to be creative but are afraid of what others will think. IT IS SO HARD to be creative in a collectivistic society like Salalah. A society where everyone is practically the same. We wear the same clothes, eat the same food, wear the same bloody makeup to weddings, follow the same trends, wear the same pom-poms on our heads, etc, etc.
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There are so many talented artists who are not being encouraged. Families in Salalah aren't used to encouraging their children's hobbies. In fact, how many people do you know in Salalah have a REAL hobby? How many artists do you know? Photographers? Poets? Writers? Musicians? Actors? They exist but there aren't many of them.
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We need to bring on a paradigm shift in our society. Change. We need to encourage our teachers to nurture children's talents.
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And you dear readers, what is your secret passion? What are you afraid of nurturing? Do you secretly want to be a writer? A guitar player? An artist? A fashion designer? A photographer? What's stopping you? Family? Laziness? Fear? Embarassement? Society? Confidence?
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I look forward to receiving your comments. I want to know what your hobby is, what you LOVE doing, and what you want to do in the future. Even if it's cooking or sewing. I'm proud to say that I'm very creative in the kitchen. According to my mother, I'm the only person she knows who can throw spices into a dish with my eyes shut and without even thinking about the dish not turning out right. Have a great day!

Ramblings

Dear All,

Kindly note that as per the attached file, you are kindly requested to submit it therefore to the acting personnel in charge ... etc. ... etc ...

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I HATE crappy email language used in the private sector sometimes.

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(1) Muscat Confidential, Other Oman, and Reality in Oman have interesting posts up today. In reply to Reality's posts, Dhofaris would just ignore you. They're too proud. What? You? A girl? Coming to tell us to leave? Kiss my A** Sista! Dhofaris are polite but they can't handle any kind of bossy woman. They are proud men. As for Dhofari girls, they'd ignore you until the leader of their group (yes they walk around in groups) gives them the signal. Collectivistic thinking. All for one and one for all.

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(2) For the last time, I'm not interested in joining Twitter. I get emails on a regular basis from readers and other bloggers telling me I should join Twitter because I'm missing out on so much. Well, I may be missing out but I'm proud to say that I have 'a life'. I'm not a 24/7 blogger. I don't spend all day on the PC. I have a regular routine, real hobbies, real friends (you know, ones that you see face to face on a regular basis?), I work out with Rania (check out her latest post on Filipino fashion - i.e. housemaids.. HAHA!), I read, I eat, I drink, I sleep, and I'm proud of my real life. So stop trying to brainwash me into thinking I should summarize my life into 160 characters or whatever.

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(3) Dear Other Oman and Muscat Confidential, I loved the video of Hitler Mocking Nawras. Hilarious and very clever. It's available on Muscat Confidential's blog if you want to see it.

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(4) The head of our IT department tried to flirt with me today so I politely got him out of my office and I'm still stuck with my commenting problem.

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(5) According to Muscat Daily, a top Egyptian cleric has issued a fatwa (Islamic ruling) forbidding the use of Facebook, saying Muslims using this site are considered 'sinners'. Why? Because statistics have shown that divorce rates have risen since Facebook became popular and has sharply increase marital infedility because young people are attracted to members of the opposite sex and can interact with them freely online. (no kidding). According to him 'It destroys ze family because it encourages spouses to ha ve relations with other people'.

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Hilarious. Why not ban Lebanese TV channels and pornography first?

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(6) Rain stopped in Salalah. According to the newspaper, rain in Oman caused two deaths yesterday and 20 people have been reported missing (how?). Evidently one person died after being struck by lightening while playing soccer. May he rest in peace, and to all you youngsters out there ... when you see lightening and hear thunder GO INSIDE. Any person with any common sense would know that, right? (wrong?).

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(7) Who has been keeping track of the number of times (per week) Fatma Al Nabhani appears on the back page of newspapers in the sports section, ha? I think we need more athletes. I love the way they photoshop sleeves and longer skirts onto her.
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(8) This morning the Qaboos Oman art exhibition opened its doors to the public in Salalah. Check it out at the Fine Arts Society next to KFC (yes, we only have one KFC in Salalah).
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That's all for now folks. Have a great evening!

I'm A-Walkin in the Rain ...

Hey everyone! Thanks for the technical support yesterday. I still don't have my problem solved so forgive me for not commenting on your blogs or replying to comments on mine. The IT dudes in my office will come to figure my problem out tomorrow. Meanwhile, it rained all night non-stop and Salalah is one big delicious puddle today (yes, delicious. I love rain). I managed to snap some photos on my way to work. I was managing the steering wheel with my knees if you really had to know. Salalah tends to flood when it rains because our drainage system is useless. But .. fun for the kids.

I hear it's raining in Muscat too ... nothing in the newspaper today though.

Calling All Geeks!

Dear Readers,

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I need your help. I'm not much of a techie, and I need to solve this dilemma. Several days ago I suddenly realized I was unable to comment on other blogs. Whenever I click 'publish comment' I see a small 'Error on Page' at the bottom of the browser page. What can I do to get rid of the error and bring things back to normal?

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PS (It's raining in Salalah today :-)

PS 2 (Bloody hell, I can't even comment on my own blog. Suburban, I use Internet Explorer. It's my work computer so I can't change it! HELP!)

Local News

(1) Sugar Crisis continues in Salalah. Evidently weather in India was so bad this year that it affected sugar production. All our sugar comes from India. According to Muscat Daily, the global sugar crisis is going to continue for the next few months until Brazil produces some. Time to change our eating habits!

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(2) Anyone heard rumors about Salalah University? No, not Dhofar University. Apparently all the construction going on behind the Salalah College of Applied Sciences is the new building they're adding on to the college. Soon the name will change to Salalah University, and it will be Oman's 2nd public university. Not too sure how I feel about that. Salalah now has Dhofar University, Salalah College of Technology and Salalah College of Applied Sciences. That's it..

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(3) Salalah World, our first huge shopping centre is going up really fast. Last week there wasn't a second floor. This week there is. They must be working 24/7.

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(4) I'm going to have to write a post soon about Facebook, and how it's changing society in Dhofar. How is it so taboo (socially) for young men and women to talk to each other at college but the minute they get home, they're all on Facebook adding each other as friends and opening up about their personal lives? I get an average of about 10 friend requests a week from men only. All Dhofari. All sending a message 'Hi, I'd like to get to know you'. What the hell? They all live in Salalah, I know who they are, I know their families, ... aren't they afraid I'm going to umm ... report them?.

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(5) Phone Stalkers: why the heck do men still play the phone game? That used to be fashionable like ... 10 years ago? By phone games I mean a strange person calling you 4 or 5 times and then sending a message saying 'Who are you? Did you call me?'. You then get confused and start thinking 'Maybe I did call them?. You then text them asking 'What's your name? I can't remember if I called you', and they'll call. You answer, realize you don't know the person, and meanwhile they discover you're a girl, so they apologize for disturbing you and end the call. Is it over? Of course not! Five or ten minutes later you get a text message saying 'You have a nice voice!' or 'Can I get to know you' or 'My name is Ali'. I always ignore such messages, but this one guy has been bugging me for four days now. Every morning I get a message from him saying 'Good Morning Sunshine!'. How do I deal with it? Ignore until he gets bored? What a loser.

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(6) Tomorrow night at 8:00 p.m is the third of the Ministry of Tourism's cultural concerts for 2010. I like the fact that they started a winter series to keep people entertained during January - March. The first concert was Spanish flamenco dancing. I didn't attend but fellow blogger Pepsi Diet wrote about it here. The 2nd one was a Moroccan singer and Elly Ashqar's band performing famous Fairuz songs. I was in Muscat but Rania went and wrote about it. I heard it was excellent. I'll try to attend tomorrow's concert. It's folklore singing and dancing from Kyrgyzstan. The singer is well-known. Read more about it at the Ministry of Tourism's website. I saw the ads up around town. So ... 8:00 p.m, Al Murooj Theatre ... Salalah.

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(7) Fellow blogger Reality in Oman published a new post on race issues in Oman 'Are Black Omanis Dumb?'. Take a look at the post and let me know what you think. It's thought-provoking. I personally believe that black people (ex-slaves) in Muscat are treated differently (in a negative way) than Salalah. In Salalah the numbers are large and they're integrated into society normally. I don't even notice skin color and I don't see an issue really except maybe among teenage boys which is normal. In Muscat, it's different. They're a minority and aren't treated as well as they're treated here. Just my opinion. Many of my friends come from families of former slaves. They're completely normal intelligent educated girls! Simple as that. They hold high positions in companies and government offices and I honestly don't even notice skin color when we're together. It's not a big issue. For me, that is. Do you still think differences between black and white are an issue in Salalah? Yes, differences will always be there, but is it an actual 'issue'?

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(8) Last but not least, if Dhofar doesn't solve the traffic issue very soon, I'm moving to Alaska. Traffic cannot move (not one inch) at rush hour without police officers at every single roundabout! EVERYDAY. What's going to happen to those poor ROP officers during May and June when it's oven-temeprature outside? What's the solution? Build bridges? Build new roads? It's chaos every morning.

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That's it for now folks. I need more coffee. The photo was taken yesterday morning.

Sugar Crisis

No I haven't disappeared. I've been sick. Has anyone noticed there's a SERIOUS sugar crisis in Oman? I went to SIX supermarkets yesterday and no sugar. I'm not a sugar fan, but I had to bake cookies for guests. What's up with the sugar? I haven't noticed anything in the newspaper.

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Rania and I are going out tonight. We'll go sugar-searching and maybe I'll convince her to get off her **** and start blogging again :-)

More Than Just Living

"يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُمْ مِنْ ذَكَرٍ وَأُنْثَى وَجَعَلْنَاكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوا إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ "

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I've been thinking a lot lately... trying to figure out where I'm heading in life. I'm healthy, I have a wonderful family, I love Islam, I live in a beautiful country, I love my job, I'm always active and busy. I wake up every morning, contemplate my life, and then ask my bedroom wall 'Now what? What's next?'.

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It's not enough to just be satisfied and continue to live. I've always felt like I need to do more. I need to give more. Sometimes when you watch the news, or read real stories about other people, you may become overwhelmed or start thinking that there's so much happening in the world, and you're just one tiny grain of sand on that beach. The world is such an amazing place. 6 Billion people sharing this one small planet. We each affect the lives of others everyday in ways we cannot even begin to comprehend. We're all different in so many ways, yet we're all the same. We all have to wake up in the morning, face life, go to work, earn a living, take care of our families, deal with birth, marriage, death, illness, happiness, sadness, love, pain, ... and we all go to bed at night thinking about the events of our day. .

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Is it enough to just live your life, pray, read Quran for your own benefit, work towards your own salvation and hope to get into heaven? It's not enough to just help yourself. The world needs us. Others needs our help. I've been following the news from Haiti after the earthquake several times a day. The situation is so terrible that if you even think about it and imagine yourself as a person living in Haiti, you probably wouldn't be able to sleep at night. I almost murdered my colleague yesterday who said 'Why are America & Europe helping Haiti? Why are all these Western countries running to the rescue? There must be an American conspiracy in there somewhere'. I managed to remain calm and not throw my stapler or punch at him. An earthquake has damaged their country, killed hundreds of thousands of people, left millions homeless, where the HELL is a conspiracy supposed to fit into all this? It's a crisis. If the world doesn't run to the rescue, then we are not human. ..

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If an earthquake hit Oman, damaging the whole country. If Salalah or Muscat were completely leveled (i.e every building collapsed) .. if we had over 250,000 dead (that's double the population of Salalah), and the whole country was homeless..... how would we react? How would we deal with it? We'd be so overwhelmed with the tragedy that we wouldn't even know what to do. Your whole life collapsing around you. Your sense of security completely lost. Would the rest of the world not run to the rescue? Would we not expect other countries to help us? OF COURSE. Regardless of political borders and passports, we are all humans, brothers and sisters belonging to one country called Earth. In times of need, we help one another. We must. .

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A fellow blogger sent me a blog written by a 22 year-old American girl, Molly, who left her safe home in June 2009, left her family and friends and went to Haiti to volunteer for one year with children who suffer from mental and physical disabilities. She had been writing regularily about her experiences in Haiti and the children she was working with. Her last post was December 30, 2009. She was a victim of the earthquake. Her body was found among the rubble of the children's centre she was working at. That's just one story from the millions of stories around the world about people who are trying to make a difference. Do you think there's a conspiracy behind a 22 year old girl who donated one year of her life to helping others? Of course not. She was just a good person who wanted to do 'more' in this world. 'More'. ... More than just living.

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I've been thinking about this lately because it upsets me sometimes when my friends show no interest at all in the rest of the world. It's as if the rest of the planet doesn't exist. There are people who feel connected to the world as a 'whole' and who are able to look at the big pictures. Those people are usually well-travelled and have seen life beyond the borders of Oman and Dubai. .
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In fact, I think most of Salalah are quite happy living their own lives, deep in their society and families, without feeling any need to connect with the rest of the world. They're so zoomed in to their own little lives (yes little) that they are unable to pull back and look at the big picture. Where they stand in the universe. Where they stand in life. It saddens me to know that people around me are so pre-occupied with the tiny details of their day to day life that they are unable (not just unwilling, but unable) to look at the big picture of their life, let alone 'life' in general. I know this is the case with many people around the world, and I'm not generalizing. I know some very enlightened Dhofaris who have travelled, gone out of their way to learn more, and who have taken the extra mile in life and feel a sense of belonging to this planet. However, they remain a minority. There are very few of them.

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Then again, sometimes I don't blame them. They haven't been taught to think about the rest of the world. They haven't been told "You can do anything you set your mind to" by their parents. They haven't been encouraged to travel and learn. The concept of volunteering and 'giving' to strangers, and small acts of kindness doesn't exist in our little society. Our society doesn't support breaking out of tradition. By tradition here, I mean sticking to the tribe through good and bad. Never moving away from Salalah or trying to build your own life. Collectivistic thinking. Collectivistic society. It's VERY hard in Salalah to have your own life, and to try and make a difference. They are afraid of change and when they adopt change it's more often negative.

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Do you think I'm being negative? My friend was criticized by her family for trying to help someone with a physical disability. Their reason "That child is not related to us. What will people say about you? You have a reputation. Stop volunteering". This isn't a rare case. I've seen it over and over again. Dhofari families feel very uneasy about volunteering and 'being out there' helping others. They're still VERY uneasy about people with special abilities & needs. Is it because they're uneducated? Or because our society doesn't support that kind of thing? Are they afraid? Afraid of what? A child in a wheelchair who just wants someone to play with? An abandoned baby at the hospital who just wants to be held? Why is it so taboo?! Where is humanity?

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And all this crap about 'reputation' and being 'seen'. (ooh .. shivers ... I've been SEEN!). Rubbish. Salalah NEEDS more volunteer work programs. We don't have any. It's very hard to volunteer at the centre for children with special abilities & needs. The only other centre is the centre for the blind, which is in terrible shape. The hospital won't allow volunteers into the abandoned babies' section. I know some British women used to volunteer there but they won't let anyone else in unless you have strong wasta. People need to be given the opportunity to help. A lot of time is being wasted everyday in this town by young people who don't have anything useful to do. We need a well-run active youth centre where young men and women alike can sign up to volunteer on a regular basis. Simple things like working with children, teaching mentally disabled children how to swim, helping children with learning difficulties, cleaning up beaches, planting trees, volunteering in schools, running awareness campaigns, and just doing good in society. WHY NOT?
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I can't do it alone. Help. Today go out of your way to help three random people. Small acts of kindness. Throw a pebble in the water and wait for the ripple effect. Life is too short just to 'live' it like a normal person. Go out of your way. I know my post is random. The result of many years of thinking. If my thoughts aren't organized, forgive me. I'm basically writing what comes to my mind without thinking about coherence.

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This post is dedicated to my friend Shahrazad, a speech therapist who makes a difference in this world every day of her life by helping people overcome their speech problems after accidents, strokes, and many other cases. She is an englightened person. I want her to go back to writing. Perhaps this post will inspire her.

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PS (if you want to help in any way, look at Molly's blog and see how you can donate to Haiti)

Eclipse

Sadly, I missed the first solar eclipse of the millenium that occured this morning at around 10:00 a.m Oman time. Sleep is precious. I had prepared my set of heavy film-negative goggles that make it safe to watch, and I was kind of excited. The last one happened when I was a child, and I remember my mother making the glasses for us using old film negative, and I remember waiting for it to happen. It was so amazing. The majestic sun disappeared and turned black in broad daylight. Of course, many superstitious people are terrified of solar eclipses, but all I can say is 'Subhan Allah'. Our universe is amazing and inspiring.

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Did any of you watch it? Anyone remember the eclipse that happened back in early 1992?

What the hell are they thinking??!

Read UD (Muscat Confidential's) latest post here. VERY VERY DISTURBING. What has the world come to? The brother of the current ruler of UAE, Sheikh Issa (Sheikh my a**) NOT guilty????? Rape a man, torture him, beat him, stuff his face with sand, cover his wounds in salt, shoot at him, rape him some more, ON VIDEO seen by the whole world on every possible channel from CNN to BBC, and in the end walk away a free man because you were under the influence of drugs and thus not in your right mind???? I did not sleep last night.

Polygamy = Less Divorce?

I'm officially on fire this morning, even though it's chilly outsides and my fingers are cold. I was reading my fellow blogger Reality's latest post titled "Less Divorce More Second Wives" . Our dear friend & controversial journalist Saleh Al Shaibany who writes scandalous articles for UAE newspaper 'The National' (remember my article on Omani Zombies? Yeah, that was him), published an article where he suggests that divorce rates have fallen in Oman as more men take second wives. You can read the article here.

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Do you mean to tell me, Mr. Saleh, that polygamy is the solution for Oman's social problems? Pain and broken families is going to solve the divorce problem?? Well Hallelujah! The perfect equation! I have seen so many families torn apart by fathers taking on second wives. Polygamy doesn't work anymore. Yes, there are some rare cases where men know how to treat their wives equally, but the majority of polygamists screw up.

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He's very good at writing articles without expressing his own opinion. The people he interviewed for this article do not represent the majority of married couples in Oman, that's for sure, and he even interviewed a marriage counsellor who had very little sympathy for first wives. “In my opinion, women have only themselves to blame for letting themselves go. They need to look after themselves and stay attractive,” Safiya Suleiman, a 58-year-old marriage counsellor, said.

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EXCUSE ME?

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Women need to look like tarts in order to 'maintain' their husbands? While taking care of a house and kids and a full-time job sometimes? Men are uncontrollable ? Is that what she's trying to say? And is this Safiya Suleiman really a marriage counsellor?? If yes, then perhaps Oman needs to hire more sensible humans to take on such positions.

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Anyway, I think this article is nonsense. Saleh wrote "According to statistics from the ministry of religious affairs, the divorce rate in Oman dropped by 12 per cent in 2008 from the previous year. At the same time, the number of men taking second wives increased by more than 20 per cent"..... Has anyone noticed it's 2010? Why is he presenting us with 2008 statistics? What about 2009? In my opinion, there is no relationship whatsoever between polygamy and divorce rates.

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I should have read the article 'after' my cup of coffee. Now I'm simply annoyed. Not a good way to start my day. I have fresh flowers in my office, though. They should cheer me up.

A New Beginning

" To make an end is to make a Beginning." -T. S. Eliot .

My first post of 2010. Wow. What a year/decade this has been for me. I remember New Year 2000 very well. I was in grade 9 and I had a math exam the next day, so I spent the entire evening studying and trying to stay awake for the Millenium. I finally did make it, and was blessed to see 1999 become 2000. Ten years have passed and I took time out on Thursday to reflect on all the major events in my life. I finished middle school, started high school, started painting, received a scholarship, went to university, studied like mad, expanded my horizons, fell in love with learning all over again, travelled a lot, graduated, got my drivers' license, bought my first car, started work, studied more, and this year I started my blog.

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A lot of other things happened obviously, but I can't blog about them. I feel blessed and at peace with myself and with the world. I sat on the beach with a friend on New Year's Eve. It was a full beautiful moon (lucky me!) so I did manage to get a photo of it. It was so perfect that New Year's was on a weekend, with a full moon (Dhofaris love full moons). There were hundreds of people on the beach relaxing and waiting to welcome the new year in a peaceful way.

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Blog-wise, it has been a wonderful year for me. I can't remember why I suddenly decided to start blogging. I remember thinking to myself 'Who's going to read my thoughts?', and was blown away by the number of readers, comments, and emails I have received since I started blogging in April. It has been quite over-whelming at times, and I apologize to anyone who wrote to me and hasn't received a response yet. I try my best to keep up with the emails, but if you knew how many emails I receive a day you'd forgive me. However, I do remember receiving an email from a young expat wife who was moving to Salalah and she wanted to know about life here, etc. I searched my entire inbox for her email and couldn't find it. So, if you're reading this, please write me again and I'll provide as many details as you want. Special thanks to my FIRST TWO READERS! Faith & Sting. I still have no idea how they found my blog, but they did and they inspired me to keep writing.

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Ok, enough sentimental thoughts. I wanted to let you all know that I was privileged enough to have dinner with fellow blogger Reality in Oman last week. Our meeting was not planned but it all worked out well and we ended up spending 4 hours together. She is a fascinating & enlightened young woman, and I was very lucky to meet her. The topics she blogs about are always intriguing and thought-provoking. She is quite intense, but also has a quiet sense of humor. Meeting fellow writers has been one of 2009's greatest gifts to me. I have met some very interesting and enlightened bloggers over the past few months. We inspire one another to continue writing & I don't feel the pressure and fear of them exposing who I am because we're all in the same boat together.

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Do you believe in New Year resolutions? Do you believe in opening a new page and giving yourself the chance to start over? If yes, what kind of resolutions and plans have you come up with?

Salalah News Bulletin

Weather: Greetings from windy dusty Salalah. The past two days have been absolute hell for anyone with asthma, allergies, etc. There's a sandstorm everywhere you go, and everything is covered in a fine layer of dust. Cool, huh? the winds were so strong yesterday that four electricity poles fell over in Dahariz yesterday (thank goodness not onto the road, but into a banana plantation). This morning I noticed that one of the NEW lamp posts down the major highway looked like it was about to fall onto the road. Is the wind really that strong or did someone drive into it? In both cases, the thing weighs a ton so it shouldn't be tilting a couple of weeks after being installed firmly in the ground.

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Traffic: I've been having nightmares lately, and it only dawned upon me this morning that the reason for these nightmares is the number of car accidents I've witnessed over the past couple of weeks. It's serious. I don't know what's happening in this town, but I'm figuring one of the main reasons are that there are too many cars and not enough roads. Traffic is congested most of the day, and police officers are controlling traffic on the three major roundabouts twice a day during rush hour. This can't continue. The Government is going to have to find a solution whether to build bridges or build another highway. The situation is getting worse by the day, and the number of vehicle accidents have increased horribly over the past few months. I've seen about 5 accidents over the past 10 days where drivers were actually killed or seriously injured. It's depressing, sad, unnecessary, and are caused mostly by speeding. A woman was killed in her car last week because the guy behind her was speeding and his breaks weren't working properly so he hit her car and she (trying to avoid him) drove into the other lane and ended up flying over the median into oncoming traffic. May she rest in peace and may Allah guide other drivers to a safer path in life.
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Missing Bride: A friend of mine (victim of an arranged marriage scheme) was scheduled to get married during January. She has never spoken to her husband-to-be and her father would probably murder her (kidding) if she even expressed interest in getting to know him before the wedding. She's been trying to keep herself busy these past few weeks getting herself ready for the wedding. She's worried, and can't even sleep at night thinking about the stranger she's going to share her life with in a few weeks. Well, lucky for her, the plan was for her husband-to-be and his two brothers to get married on the same day (cost-saving techniques?), so the family searched for three brides. The brides were found (hurray!) and the wedding was scheduled. HOWEVER, bride number three decides she doesn't want to get married anymore, and the engagement was broken. So .. the current dilemma is 'Wedding Postponed Until Third Bride Found'. There's talk of the wedding being postponed until July. My friend is in ecstasy. Family frantic trying to find another bride. Do you know anyone up for grabs? 18- 20 years old (groom is 23)? Plump? White? Tall? For more details do not hesitate to call groom #3.

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Business & Whatnot: A certain Brokerage manager at a top capital markets company visited me in my office today and proceeded to pull out forms and booklets and brochures explaning the importance of investing in the stock market and other forms of investment. 'Why come to me?', I asked politely. Turns out they're targeting women. Yes women. Interesting move. Target women in their offices, brainwash them into thinking they should invest money in your company, and bribe them with tales of profit. I wonder how many women fell for it.

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Proposals: A friend of mine works at a bank. She's young, pretty, independent, and a workholic. Along with her father, she's the main provider for her family (young siblings). She drives, and is working on her MBA via correspondense. Last week an older gentleman approached her at the bank. She assumed he was a customer so she invited him to her office to see what he wanted. This is the exact speech he gave her "My dear girl, I may look like an old man but I'm only 55. I have two wives, one bedouin and one from the mountains. I have 8 children, most of them grown up. I want to know where your house is so I can come and propose officially. I will give you 50,000 Rials as a dowry as well as a new car of your choice, and I will give your father 25,000 Rials. I will give you your own home and you will be free to raise your children as you wish. All I ask is that you agree to marry me. The years are flying by and I need to feel young. I've seen you around town a lot and I feel you're the perfect person for me. So where is your house?". Can you even begin to imagine what she was feeling? The horror? She told him simply that she was engaged and Insha'allah he will find another bride then she pretended to be busy and went to her manager's office and hid there until he left. She called me immediately in hysterics. I laughed my head off obviously. I love Salalah.

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LGBT: Anyone noticed that all the gay dudes who worked at Centrepoint disappeared? Wonder why...

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Behavior: I was a little surprised this morning when I met with a manager of one of Salalah's leading energy companies, and he extended his hand to shake mine. I smiled at him and thanked him but refused to shake. He looked a little puzzled and asked why? I was thinking to myself "what do you mean, why? I'm Muslim!", but I simply said 'Oh, I prefer not to. So how are you? What's new on the scene?". He didn't give up. Need I mention that he is a Dhofari from the mountains? Yes he studied abroad but has he seriously forgotten what Salalah is all about? he proceeded to lecture me on work ethics, etc. His logic was that in a work environment, I should shake men's hands when extended because it's purely professional. I argued back that no man had extended his hand in over two years (since my former manager, an expat, which is understandable). Anyway, we argued for a bit then I forced him to change the subject and get on with our meeting. P.E.S.T.

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That's all for today folks. I'm exhausted and over-worked. Coffee.

I'd like to think of myself as an advocate of briding cultures and global understanding. A friend of mine is involved in organizing this event at Sultan Qaboos University in Muscat. If you're interested please drop by tomorrow! India is such an amazing and diverse country, and I'm sure you'd enjoy it.

Christmas in Salalah

Dear Readers,

;

.Well, I wasn't expecting such a reaction to my meeting with Rania, but nevertheless I'm pleased. Just so you know, Rania and I met again this weekend at her house, so I could meet her children. The sweetest things EVER!

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Today is the 25th of December, a.k.a Christmas to most people around the world. I've witnessed many debates lately among people I know in Salalah on whether to acknowledge the fact that Christmas exists or not. Excuse me? Are we not Muslims who believe in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam? Do we not believe in Jesus? Christmas is the day Christians commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ, one of the most important prophets in Islam.

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I'm fired up about this today because someone I know criticized me for wishing my Christian friends a Merry Christmas. She said I had sinned for believing in 'their' holiday. Remind me again which century we live in? I lived among Christians for several years. I do not 'celebrate' Christmas because I am Muslim but I do make sure to wish them a Merry Christmas because during Eid, they always sent me Eid cards, gifts, and some of them even fasted during Ramadan with me to try and understand my faith. It touched me, and I believe it helped them make positive changes in their lives.

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Are we not humans? Do we as Muslims not believe in Christianity as a major world religion? Do we not believe in the same God? Do we not share the same planet and breathe the same air?

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How do we expect others to understand us or appreciate our way of life as Muslims if we are unable to acknowledge what they believe in? Don't all world religions believe in the Golden Rule: " Do to others what you would like to be done to you "? Yes they do. Every single world religion. Our Prophet Mohammed PBUH, in his farewell cermon, also known as خطبة الوداع told his followers "Hurt no one so that no one may hurt you", and this is what we as humans should practice in our lives, regardless of what we believe in. We cannot continue living like enemies. Peace and understanding are what we should base our beliefs on.

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However! Although I recognize Christmas as a major religious event for Christians, I do not believe in the commercialized Christmas we see nowdays all over the world. Christmas has become a materialistic event. Many Christians don't even go to Church on Christmas anymore and merely spend all day, eating, drinking, and opening gifts. Many of the beautiful Christmas traditions are disappearing slowly, and this makes me sad. I was outraged when I drove past Browniz Cafe on Al-Salam street in Salalah and saw a huge cardboard Santa at the door. Hello? We live in a Muslim country. Santa does not represent the religious history behind Christmas. How do the management at Browniz think they are going to maintain their Omani customers during December? Let's be realistic here. No young man in Salalah is going to cheerfully walk into Browniz, sit on the sofa next to Santa and order a coffee. I think that's gone too far and I find it a little offensive.

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It also saddens me to see that many Christians tend to over-do it on the alcohol. Since when was Christmas about getting drunk? What about the Christmas parties at the major hotels where you go, dance and get drunk? Is that religious? What's happening to our world?

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Anyway, this post isn't about alcohol or parties. This post is about the incident with my friend. Instead of talking and criticizing, try to listen. Listen and you will understand. Listen and you will become a better person.

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Peace.

Two Bloggers Meet

Dear All,
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Yes it happened. Yes I'm alive. Yes Rania is the person I expected her to be and my sources were 100% correct. And YES Rania is cool!
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As she mentioned in her post about the meeting, I did sit in my car and wait until she pulled up and then I waited until she got out and spent a few moments observing her. She was standing nervously clutching her bag and trying not to look left and right. I decided to put her out of her misery, so I approached her from behind and shouted 'Boo!'. She jumped. I smiled. Arrogant, my dear readers? Nah.
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I could tell she was nervous. I'm not that scary, but I guess after following my blog for so long, she'd created this 'Nadia' personality in her little brain and wasn't able to handle the real person. However, her nervousness didn't last for very long. After about ten minutes (and probably after I'd pulled out a pair of grilled shades for her) she started to relax. We ordered coffee (café lattes from Browniz if you really must know), and drove to the beach.
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We parked at the end of Haffa Beach, took our shoes off and settled down in our chairs with our feet buried in the cold sand (it's a nice feeling). I find it easier to talk to people in the dark for some reason. Conversations are more meaningful at night. Does anyone agree with me? We talked for three hours straight about absolutely everything. We do have a lot in common, even though she's not Omani. I guess being married to an Omani and knowing many locals has expanded her 'Dhofari Horizons'. She understands the culture and blends in very well.
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We talked about Dhofar in depth. Both of us are Dhofar-lovers. We discussed the fact that many people are now using Dhofari Gucci and Sleepless in Salalah as valid reference material on Dhofar, which is flattering yet scary. I have met so many people who have quoted my blog and even used it as teaching material. It's reached the point where if you google anything about Dhofar or Salalah, inevitably one of our blogs will show up on the first search page. We realized that it's our responsibility to make sure that what we write is good and valid material. We brainstormed so many ideas for our blogs, and listed the issues we want to tackle. As a foreigner married to an Omani, Rania has a unique perspective on life here. Positive and realistic. She's very down to earth and intelligent, and I trust that she will write excellent posts on our crazy little town.
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She was off on a camping trip with her husband's family the next day and begged me not to write about our meeting until she got back. To those of you who aren't techie-minded, I actually cancelled comment moderation this week, and so I wasn't moderating all the comments under my last post, as many of you thought. I decided to take a break from the computer this past weekend and enjoy real life. The rain in Salalah was refreshing. Winter arrived this morning. I took one look out my window and knew that today would be the first of many dry windy dusty days.
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Rania came back from camping, and told me I could write again (well, thank you!). Overall, our meeting was great, and I predict many more similar encounters. Ask any person who was on Haffa Beach between 6:30 and 9:45 p.m on Tuesday whether they saw anything … odd.

Two girls in abayas wearing grilled shades?

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Yours Sincerely,
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Nadia
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PS (In her blog, Rania accuses me of insisting on using my car to go to the beach and being bossy. Well, evidently she wasn't focused enough to realize that the beach mat and chairs came out of my car, so yes we had to take my car. Just thought I'd clarify).

My Reply

Dear Rania,

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Referring to your Open Letter, dated December 12, 2009, I'm quite amused. The responses and drama you've caused in the blogosphere with your simple letter were very entertaining. Perhaps you haven't been in Salalah long enough to know that there are no secrets in this town. However, I've been writing for many months, and to this day only a handful of people know who I am. I enjoy being anonymous, and intend to keep it that way.

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On the other hand, you must remember that I am a pure Dhofari. This means I have a talent for gathering information and news using my connections. Thus, I wish to inform you that I know who you are. Your disguise was not difficult to uncover. I was worried that you'd end up being someone I know, and this is why I was not willing to contact you. However, since you do not know me personally I think it is safe to meet for coffee.

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We will meet tonight at 6:30 p.m. Email me for more details. I will not remove my pink grilled shades. I will observe you from afar and then approach you. You will not know me, but I will know you. You will follow me to my car, and we will drive to a place where we can chat freely. We will be good friends I know. I hereby declare today to be 'Dhofari Bloggers' Day'.

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See you in nine hours.

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Your Sincerely,

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Nadia

The Weather is A-Changing

Yes, you heard me right. Last night was the first night since last year that I was able to sleep without an air conditioner. Yay for winter! I'm not very pleased about the dry wind and dust storms, though! All we need is a little rain. I hear it's pouring in Muscat? Send some over!

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The reason I haven't written anything since my Eid post is because I have guests staying with me in my house. I've been giving the usual tours of Dhofar:

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To the West (Raysut, Mughsayl, Fezayah, Dhalkut, etc)

To the East (Taqah, Darbat, Taiq Cave, Sumhuram, Mirbat, Sadah, Hadbeen)

To the Mountains (Prophet Job's Tomb, and that area)

To the South (beach beach beach and the ocean)

The usual stops (coconuts, shopping, frankincense, BBQs, camel meat, etc)

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Did I mention that I'm sick? No? Yes, I'm sick. So that adds more fun to the tourist trips. Bah. All I want to do really is curl up on the sofa with hot cocoa and a movie, but no such luck. I'm off work for a week to entertain my guests, so I'm glad for the extra break after Eid break even though I've been driving all around Dhofar entertaining (first time I really use a 4WD. It's creepy)

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I've been receiving emails from people wanting to be-friend me/meet me(Rania?)/know who I am. I'm really good at ignoring, but sometimes I feel guilty. Maybe I should at least answer?

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I'm anti-Twitter. Just thought you should know.

Eid in Salalah

If you know the beat to the song 'Feeling Hot Hot Hot', then sing along with me:
My stomach's on fire ...
Ma'ajeen is my desire ...
Eating Meat Meat Meat ...
Eating Meat Meat Meat ..
Party people ... all around Salalah .. Eating Meat Meat Meat ...
Throw your hands in the air!
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How are you all? I'm in a wacky mood today, but I promised you my Eid post, so here goes..
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The days before Eid were absolute hell. I thought Eid Al-Adha is about celebrating life's small blessings like food and shelter. Why it is that we're so obsessed with shopping before Eid? Buy buy buy. Why? Do we really need to replace the majlis furniture for Eid? Must I buy ten new dresses for Eid? Do we really need to show off that much? We're supposed to 'give'. I bought three bright 'cotton' thobe bothails (Father Of the Tail dresses) for Eid. Thank goodness my family don't like the fancy crap that other people must go through for Eid like having to get heavily embroidered silky shiny expensive thobes to show off. I did not get henna done nor did I dye my hair bright yellow. I did not buy new blue contact lenses or bukhoor. I don't feel the need for all that. For me Eid is about seeing family and spending extra time learning about what's going on in their lives.

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However, Dhofaris seemed to have other plans. I could not even get near the centre of town during Eid. I tried FIVE TIMES to buy Halwa at my favourite Halwa shop but I couldn't get near it! It was so crowded! Women on thobe street شارع عطية were busy buying clothes and blocking all traffic. I couldn't enter any supermarket because it was crowded with people buying the exact-same-items. More like Ramadan shopping! I decided not to go out. I paid my cousin a fee to go and buy Halwa for our house. He was pleased and keeps on offering his services. Perhaps he sees a potential source of income. (he's 17).
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On the morning of Eid, I woke up at dawn for prayers. Believe it or not, there was like 20 seconds of rain but then it stopped. I then dozed off again knowing that I'd wake up to the sound of the Imam's voice and Eid prayers soon enough. I woke up again to the sound of 'Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar!' (God is Great), and just like a child I jumped out of bed excited for Eid. It's was 7 a.m. I know some of you are thinking 'Why wake up so early? No one wakes up early except children'. Well, to you pessmists, Eid is a celebration and I choose to celebrate. I put on a new bright green Father of the Tail, applied bright red lipstick, adjusted my poof (pompom, kammasha, qamboo3a, etc) and joined my family for a hearty breakfast. The men had already left for prayers so it was just my mother and aunt and sisters.
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After breakfast we got to work preparing the Majlis for guests. We knew that by 8:30 the kids would be on the streets in their new clothes. Sure enough, by 8:25 the doorbell rang and it was the first batch of kids who came in giggling and sat down to introduce themselves and eat sweets. I gave them Eidia (Eid Money for kids) and they asked me 'Is it true that you drive a car?'. Umm.. yes? They were fascinated. Poor things. Off they went and the next batch arrived and it continued like that until 1:00.
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Meanwhile, after Eid prayers the men went off to the 'garbeeb' (our plain near the mountains) to slaughter a cow. They came home bloody and tired bearing lots and lots of meat. Off they went to get ready for visiting, and my aunt busied herself with the task of making Eid ma'ajeen, which is basically small pieces of beef cooked in fat and salted and then if kept in a sealed container, can last for months. It's really tasty. I helped her cut up the meat even though I hate the sight of it.

.A 3:00 the 'adult' visiting started. . . and it contined for then next six days NON-STOP. I spent my entire Eid holidays either visiting people or receiving people. I must have seen at least 300 relatives and neighbors during Eid week. The same scenario exactly:
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'Hello! Eid Mubarak! How are you? How is your father? How is your mother? How is your brother? How is his wife? Any baby? How is your health? Are you married yet?'.

.Every single majlis had the exact same food items. The big dish of ma'ajeen, Omani coffee, Omani Halwa, Danish cookies, nuts, Halwa bread, and then Vimto and mango-flavored water. I'm not complaining. I'm merely wondering why Dhofaris can't be more creative food-wise. At every single house you were FORCED to eat at least three or four pieces of Ma'ajeen. If you're visiting ten houses a day.... 10*4 = 40 pieces of Ma'ajeen a day. 40*6 days = 240 pieces of ma'ajeen in six days. Beef. Eating meat meat meat .. imagine the cholestrol and blood pressure problems in Dhofar after Eid. Eek!

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Another thing that surprises me is that during Eid, it's suddenly fine to receive men and entertain male cousins, etc, whereas during the rest of the year it's 3aib عيب .. weird. I met so many male relatives, and I can't even remember half their names.

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Most families visit each house individually, but some families have gotten smarter and they now announce for example that on the fourth day of Eid the entire family will get together in the mountains for a huge picnic involving lots of meat.

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Anyway, all in all Eid is about seeing people, getting to know what they're up to, exchanging news, being happy and cheerful, talking your head off, eating your head off, and opening your house to your neighbors/family/friends. It's a time to get away from your stupid computer, let go of your boring routine, and enjoy spending time with PEOPLE.

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I love Eid. I was sad when it was over even though I was grateful that I didn't have any more visiting to do AND NO MORE MEAT HAD TO BE STUFFED DOWN MY THROAT. And here I am back at work and they're still celebrating Eid! On the first day back at work, all my male colleagues had their new turbans on, the women had new abayas, everyone was exchanging news. Many employees brought halwa, sweets, Omani coffee, and even ma'ajeen. The air was festive and everyone was in a good mood. We're still exchanging sweets and halwa even though it's already Tuesday.

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How did you celebrate your Eid? Are you meated out too?

Jebbalis & Guns

I love my rival. I love her blog. I love her comments on life in Salalah. Please read her new post here. I especially loved number 10.

Alive and Well!

Besides being over-meaten (my word for eating too much meat), I'm alive and well, and trying to finish off everyone on my Eid visiting list (that could mean visiting them or literally finishing them off). I've been to 27 houses this week. I've eaten 5 kilos of meat AT LEAST, I never want to eat camel again, and when I head back to work tomorrow I'll type up my Eid post. So there. How was your Eid?

Father of the Tail

I'm beginning to like my competitor. I enjoyed reading her post on Dhofari Thobes. Read it...

Marriage vs. Love

I've been wanting to write about the concept of marrying for love or agreeing to an arranged marriage, in Omani society. It's an issue that we, the generation of 20-35 year-olds in Oman struggle with everyday-freakin-day. My fellow blogger Reality wrote an excellent post on this topic, and the responses are excellent too, so I recommend you read her post on Marriage vs. Love.

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My favorite hobby these days seems to be aimless driving with a friend chattering in the passenger seat (Yes, you know who you are). We can drive around Salalah for 2-3 hours with absolutely no purpose besides getting something cold to drink. Anyway, yesterday we were discussing this same topic exactly. We were trying to figure out how the hell we (the young women of today), are supposed to know who to marry. When do you 'know' that this is the right person to marry? What determines that feeling? Did we believe in marrying for love (I don't think I believe in that anymore). Is compatability without deep love enough to marry someone? Do you trust your family enough to allow them to choose your partner? Should you marry someone who shares some of the same interests and hope for the best? Should the person have the same sort of background or family? Should you or should you not discuss marriage expectations down to the very last details before getting married? Should you just pray Istikhara and hope for the best?

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In a conservative society like Salalah where interaction between males and females is almost non-existent, how do you find a partner? I swear, most of my friends have nightmares about this every night. Worrying about getting married. Worrying about being called into the family living room one day and being informed that they're marrying their cousin or a man from the tribe (always preferrable in Salalah!). Worrying about finding someone suitable but afraid of upsetting their family. Worrying about falling in love and then their families refusing.

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Should we get to know someone before deciding to get married? How much should you know before doing that? Are long phone conversations enough? Long chats online? Face-to-face meetings which are virtually impossible in Salalah? Or should you just pray and hope for the best? How important is 'love' when trying to make the big decision? Does 'love' blur your thoughts and mess up your logic? Is marrying someone from your 'tribe' or from a sister tribe really that important? Will our families continue to influence every single detail of us choosing a partner? Will we actually be able to 'choose' a partner?

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My driving pal and I 'want' to believe that if a man and woman discover that they are spiritually/religiously compatible and on the same spiritual path that this is enough to get married. But does it always work out? I'd like to believe that.

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You know what? I've always heard women's side of the story. I discuss these issues with women. Girls like myself. Bloggers, friends, neighbors, colleagues. Females. We have the same concerns and worry about the same things usually. But I'd really like to know what the guys think. So, dear male readers of Dhofari Gucci, I'd like your opinion on this matter. My female readers are expected to write of course, but this is a special request to my male readers. What are the important issues for you when choosing a girl to marry? What does your family want you to do, and what do you yourself believe in? Calling all men!

Competition On The Horizon

Yes, you heard me. I have a competitor. Not too sure if I'm pleased about it or not (I'm a selfish person), but I'm happy about having another blogger from Dhofar who writes in English. She's only published three posts, but I can tell that her future observations are going to be super-interesting. I may even meet her one day (in my niqab and pink grill glasses to conceal my identity). Please join me in welcoming Rania, author of Sleepless in Salalah!

Marriage Contracts

Dear Readers,

I need your input. I've been hearing bits n' pieces in Salalah about the idea of 'marriage contracts' (completely independent of the legal marriage document that is issued by the court). I've heard of women saying they will demand a marriage contract where for example the man will agree never to force his wife to stop working or driving, that he will never touch her income, that he will never divorce her without her consent, that he will never take on a second wife, etc. Do you know anyone who has done this in Oman? Did they do it through a lawyer's office?

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PS (kindly note that I am asking out of curiosity. I did NOT say I support contracts before marriage, nor did I say I was against them. And yes I heard of a man from Salalah who requested a contract, and he insisted on swearing against polygamy)

Oman's 39th National Day!

Dhofari Gucci is Happy & proud to be Omani today. I'm always proud to be Omani, but this morning I've got flags up in my office, and I sang the national anthem on my way to work and I was even slightly cheerful before my mug of coffee. If some of you are wondering, I'm actually back from Finland. Couldn't stand the thermal you-know-what.

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Some may wonder about our two national days. 23rd of July is Renaissance Day when His Majesty overthrew his father in a bloodless coup, and the 18th of November is National Day, which is actually his birthday (Scorpio!) .

Today I am thankful for the following:

- The Peaceful country that I call home

- Islam

- Our beloved Sultan

- The freedom to work, drive, travel, and be who I am.

- The ability to learn something new everyday

- Feeling safe and secure wherever I am in Oman

- My family/ My Tribe

- My friends and neighbors

- All the amazing Omanis I have met through this blog over the past few months.

- I am thankful for the small pleasures that Salalah has to offer like chilled coconuts on the side of the road or the beautiful Indian Ocean and the untouched beaches 1 minute away from my house.

- I am thankful for the banana plantations, the camels, the bedouins, the mountain people, the fishermen, the hyenas, the internet, the roads, the schools, electricity, clean water, my warm bed, my cute black car, my phone, my books, paper, pencils, grass, frankincense, rocks, turbans, abayas, clock towers, honey, tribes, colors, the cheesecake at the Hilton, my blog, and last but not least I am thankful for coffee.

- I am thankful for the Life that I am Living and all that is to come.

Have a great day everyone!

Omani Zombies

Please read this article on Omani witchcraft & 'zombies'. Saleh Al Shaibany's choice of words sent me into a fit of hysterical laughter as I imagined the evil Omani zombies working at slave labor camps in Bahla. I read his articles regularly but this one is really amusing. I know a lot of it is believed to be true in Oman, especially in Salalah where voodoo and witchcraft is big. Taqah, the small fishing village outside Salalah, is the witch-town of Dhofar. Dhofaris in general won't visit Al Baleed archaeological site because they believe the place is cursed. Security guards quit regularly because they're terrified of guarding the place at night. Khor Ruri Valley after Taqah is supposedly the meeting place for witches and spirits. Rumor has it that the valley is guarded by a red fox. That, I know, is true because I've seen it several times. Anyway, I'll blog about witchcraft and spirit beliefs in Salalah some other time. Today I'm merely entertaining you with this article. Cheers.

Dammit!

I'm officially sulking today. I'm not speaking to anyone and I've got a permanent scowl on my face. My friends and I drove to Haffa beach, known as 'The Corniche' last night, parked in front of one of the huge screens broadcasting the Oman-Australia game, switched on the radio to listen to the game, and prayed. It was like a torture session. At one point I had my hands over my ears and my eyes were shut so I wouldn't have to hear what happened after the penalty kick. What torture. Police were scattered all over town ready to handle the chaos on the streets in case Oman won. Sadly, after a series of near-goals and near-firecracker attacks, and damn the kangaroos, Oman lost.

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How the heck are we supposed to celebrate National Day on Wednesday when (a) Australia beat Oman IN OMAN last night, and (b) when Oman is playing against Brazil on Tuesday IN OMAN? (is it Tuesday?) ... If Oman loses again, I'm giving up my citizenship and moving to Finland.

Identity Revealed!

Nadia is happy ... just wanted to let you know that over the weekend I revealved the identity of two fellow bloggers (by complete coincidence) and turns out I know them both. Won't tell you who they are. I'm being Nice.

I'm in movie-mode. For those of you living in Salalah, the best place to get movies is Al Masa DVD outlet. They have two branches; one off Al Najah Street opposite Switz Bakery, and the other one on the corner just before phone street (Haramia Street) when you're driving past Dhofar Hotel. They only open after sunset, but they're worth it. They always have the latest movies and series (Arab, Indian, English). On Thursday I watched Seven Pounds (Will Smith). Highly recommended. I also watched Amazing Grace .. anyone seen it? About William Wilberforce who fought to abolish slavery in England. Excellent movie.

Cheers!

Fear Not for I am Right Here!

Nadia is alive and well. Sitting at her desk after work hours blogging. How nerdy is that? I should be racing to my car like all the other employees in order to be at home and in bed before official office hours end. Work ethic in Oman can be QUITE frustrating sometimes.

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(1) This is just a random post with bits and pieces of news I've written down on scraps of paper in my bedroom, bathroom, office, car, etc. We can start with the fact that IHMD dude introduced me to the actual website for our upcoming first shopping mall in Salalah. For those interested, check out Salalah World . It seems we're going to have shops, a cinema, bowling alley, AND A CAFE THAT SERVES REAL COFFEE!!! I'm counting the days. For those who wish to uncover my identity, kindly note that I will change Dhofari Gucci headquarters to the new cafe, and you can just ask a waiter 'Who's the girl who orders more than three cups of coffee per hour?'. I'm ruined.

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(2) The flags are up for National Day! Exciting! I love seeing the workers raising the flags on all the poles up and down the highway and major roads. For the past week, the major highway has been under construction as they put up our brand new hideous gold and black street lights that looks like something out of 18th century England.

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(3) I was planning on making an official visit to the new Sultan Qaboos Grand Mosque in Salalah, but my friend *soon-to-be-blogger* went on the weekend and was told that women aren't allowed into the men's section. Yes, you heard me right. Women are only allowed into one part of the mosque! Outrageous!!! It was at 10:00 a.m. Visiting time! What the heck is the government thinking? Everyone should be allowed into the mosque when it's not prayer time! Look at the Grand Mosque in Muscat! Expats, Christians, Jews, Hindus, Women, Men, wheelchairs, EVERYONE can go in when it's not prayer time, as long as they're dressed modestly. And my friend, so innocent in her burqa (niqab) and abaya wasn't allowed in. Very annoying.

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(4) I went to Lulu Centre yesteday and bought a Freej coloring book and a box of new Steadler coloring pencils. For some reason, I feel like coloring. And why not good old granny Freej? For those of you who don't know Freej, it's the UAE 3D animated series with the old lady in the niqab. Most school notebooks nowdays have her picture on them!

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(5) Lots of people I know are preparing for Hajj, the journey of a lifetime. I don't want to say I'm jealous (ehem.. Shahrazad), but I am! I can't wait for the day when I'll be able to go. I hope to go with a husband if and when I ever find one. haha..
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(6) Does anyone have any idea how long the National Day holiday will be and when Eid holiday will be and whether they'll be merged into one nine-day holiday like last Eid? I'm craving a holiday. C.R.A.V.I.N.G.
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Ok, enough blogging for today. I'm having a super-exhausting month at work and have no time for sleeping and eating, let alone blogging. I'm brainstorming posts on spirituality, life, travel, etc, .. season for deep-thinking. I've been writing in my journal almost everyday. Cheers

Note

No I have not disappeared off the face of earth nor have I been kidnapped and murdered by the individuals who hate my blog and think I'm blogging from room 3 at Ibn Sina mental institution. I've been extremely busy. Too busy. Work-wise. I'm in a 'Pissed-Off-by-Wasta' mood today. I should think up a post on Wasta. For those of you who don't know the magic word, Wasta is getting what you want in life when you don't deserve it by using your social connections and the grapevine. Wasta is big in Oman. HUGE.